Have you ever caught a glimpse of the financial tightrope that teachers walk every day? Prepare to have your eyes opened as we peel back the curtain on the lives of educators, particularly those who turn to platforms like OnlyFans to supplement their incomes. As we navigate the uncomfortable intersection of private side hustles and public personas, we discuss the societal expectations that both confine and define the roles of teachers. The conversation traverses the rocky terrain of systemic educational funding failures, public discomfort, and the implications of educators' after-hours activities on their professional standing.
This episode isn't just an exploration of the financial struggles within the education system; it's a deep dive into the tumultuous waters of modern relationships and the role of social media. We shine a light on the controversial topic of fidelity, societal reactions to unexpected revelations, and the accountability that married men have when engaging with content creators on platforms like OnlyFans. From the impact on marriages to the societal lens that magnifies every move teachers make, we dissect the complex dynamics at play. We also consider whether the traditional roles of men and women in relationships are shifting under the weight of new expectations.
To round off our discussion, we tackle the emotionally charged topics of fatherhood, co-parenting, and blended family dynamics. We confront stereotypes, highlight the importance of a father's presence, and discuss the balance between financial provision and active parenting. With personal anecdotes and insights, we unpack the nuances of discipline within step-families and the essential communication needed to navigate the intricacies of co-parenting. Tune in for an episode that promises to challenge preconceptions, spark dialogue, and offer a fresh perspective on the responsibilities that define our most intimate relationships.
Go to http://www.overcometoobecome.com to see all of the Video Podcasts and the other podcasts under the "Overcome 2 Become" YouTube Channel
Follow M at @overcometoobecome and T at @tress_city on Instagram
Email us at overcometoobecome@gmail.com for thoughts, comments and show suggestions. Come join the discussion
Have you ever caught a glimpse of the financial tightrope that teachers walk every day? Prepare to have your eyes opened as we peel back the curtain on the lives of educators, particularly those who turn to platforms like OnlyFans to supplement their incomes. As we navigate the uncomfortable intersection of private side hustles and public personas, we discuss the societal expectations that both confine and define the roles of teachers. The conversation traverses the rocky terrain of systemic educational funding failures, public discomfort, and the implications of educators' after-hours activities on their professional standing.
This episode isn't just an exploration of the financial struggles within the education system; it's a deep dive into the tumultuous waters of modern relationships and the role of social media. We shine a light on the controversial topic of fidelity, societal reactions to unexpected revelations, and the accountability that married men have when engaging with content creators on platforms like OnlyFans. From the impact on marriages to the societal lens that magnifies every move teachers make, we dissect the complex dynamics at play. We also consider whether the traditional roles of men and women in relationships are shifting under the weight of new expectations.
To round off our discussion, we tackle the emotionally charged topics of fatherhood, co-parenting, and blended family dynamics. We confront stereotypes, highlight the importance of a father's presence, and discuss the balance between financial provision and active parenting. With personal anecdotes and insights, we unpack the nuances of discipline within step-families and the essential communication needed to navigate the intricacies of co-parenting. Tune in for an episode that promises to challenge preconceptions, spark dialogue, and offer a fresh perspective on the responsibilities that define our most intimate relationships.
Go to http://www.overcometoobecome.com to see all of the Video Podcasts and the other podcasts under the "Overcome 2 Become" YouTube Channel
Follow M at @overcometoobecome and T at @tress_city on Instagram
Email us at overcometoobecome@gmail.com for thoughts, comments and show suggestions. Come join the discussion
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to On the Mic with the M and T. Listen, we're going to be talking about a lot of different topics today and we're behind the scenes. Before we started, we were talking about this one particular topic, about teachers. So we're going to find out why I got so many teachers doing OnlyFans. I'm just going to throw it out there. Hey, you know, and like me and T was saying, there's multiple reasons why you know they do what they do, but go ahead T tell me your opinion.
T:It was more than OnlyFans. Right, it's the after-hours side jobs that go on with teachers. Right, and from what I can recall, teachers have always had side jobs in summer hustles, right, some of them are extra local staples. Some of them, you know, do tutoring, some of them are going to do, you know, before and after care. But from what I can recall, teachers have always needed and or wanted I don't know, I don't count other people's money, but they've always earned an income outside of their job. That's just always been normal to me. The part that's not normal and that's getting people's attention is the only fans, um, extra activities. Or the rap, right, the teaching rapper, right, um, people don't like that. People and I'm I can to a certain extent understand what you're doing, but people don't like a lot of things that the teachers do in the classrooms. It's just like who creates the standard and why is the standard? You know, why is it such a great area? I think is what I'm trying to say. It's too like. Where's the code of conduct for teachers?
M:See, glad you brought that up. Like you said before, as long as I've known every teacher I've known, because I had a lot of teachers in my family they always had side hustles Because, again, you know, and they always said the same discussion they had back then, the same discussion they have now. They don't pay me enough. You know, I only get paid for school, doing a school session. After that my money don't come.
T:So I got to go during the month. You don't have a regular, stable income.
M:So they're like we got to make it up. A lot of them I know worked at food stores, grocery stores, worked at different shops during the summer months.
T:Places that isn't no work.
M:So to me, me it was like okay. I always say back then, as I say right now, why the fuck don't we pay the teachers enough so they don't have to get a second job? That's what I keep hearing about. We got, we're over budget, we're over this, and then we're doing this. And every time I keep hearing about you know we spend all this money on education and their school.
M:For instance, you know schools in baltimore. They never have goddamn air conditioners during the summer months. When they open up or before they open, they always keep the schools closed for a couple or a month, a week or so, because it's so damn hot in the school because they don't have no air conditioning. My question is if you know that your school is going to be hot, or it has history of being hot, why the fuck you didn't put some goddamn air conditioners in the school so the kids can go to school rather than? Oh well, you know it's too hot in the school. What the hell? What do you do with the money? I'm pretty sure you got money for air conditioners and shit like that. What the fuck are y'all?
T:doing. I could use Baltimore as the example. You know, they spend that money. Okay, we could use Baltimore, we could use TG County, we could use any school here where we live in Maryland. Oh well, because now that I'm thinking about it, a lot of that money gets funneled out. It's not funny, but this, you know, I'm just thinking out loud Money. The money gets funneled out and it gets messed up. So, like what's happening? Where's the accountability here? So where our systems are failing us, that's the issue.
T:Yeah, that, out of all the hee, hee, ha, ha, because that's not funny, right, but I had to get a little chuckle in because just the thought of it. But yeah, there's a system that we keep creating and we keep showing up to work in these systems, right, and the systems keep failing us left and right. And then when you go outside of the system to supplement right, to get yourself an income that's, I just feel, like, respectable, absolutely, people are seeking, people are seeking incomes that are just respectable, and then y'all mad, mad, you're mad, mad. How do your kids know what's going on in the OnlyFans world anyway?
M:You know what? I'm going to say this to you. You know why. You know what happens. It's not the kids, it's not the kids, it's what happened is you know, miss Jones? Now I'm going to say something that's going to make a lot of women mad. Okay, but you know, you get Miss Jones and Miss Jones is fine. So you get Miss Jones. Miss Jones is probably 25, 26 years old, body banging and the hub, you know, go to PTA meeting. Hub is like good lord, have mercy, miss Jones, looking good, I'm pulling at your wifey, but you're like looking at her, like you don't look, like. No, mrs Jones, I'm coming to more PTA meetings. So what happens is you're like you know guys, you're like damn what she does. And then you, I'm going to say this Okay, a study said does. And then you, I'm gonna say this Okay, he studied said that 90% of men are married who aren't OnlyFans. I couldn't believe it, I wouldn't look. That shit don't even sound right. But every time I came looking, they kept saying 90% of them are OnlyFans, are married, crazy.
T:And I can see both sides of it.
M:But I can understand why, again, if Mrs Jones fine, you know she's teaching your little son, little Ray Ray.
T:So you done? Left the PTA meeting and said nah, let me see if she out here like that, let me see, that's where the damn kids getting from. That's why the kids know shit. Who said this? Let me go try to find this person online. Ask a little meet and greet. Absolutely not.
M:Think about this. Think about it Everybody has an IG page. So if she's Miss Jones and she's fine, you know her name you're going to look her up. Nowadays you can do that.
T:So is the OnlyFans thing linked to the Instagram? Yes, that's what I'm saying. How do they know? I missed that part.
M:You know these young women. Now everyone got an IG page so you got their name. Look up on IG and there's always links to different things and if you linked up on one that says, of click, you're gonna look. Oh, look at miss jones. Oh, suppose all her pencils and and races and bang go so the men, not mad, is what you're saying.
T:It's the moms that are mad, okay, okay so then, you know they're looking.
M:They're like all of a sudden it catches that. Because you know, again, man, we're not that bright. You know we let our emotions kick over and we fucking don't cover our shit up. Next, you know, draws us exposed. You're like where these draws come from. You know, I don't know where it came from. You know she ain't her fucking draws. But then she got you and now she gonna dig in your ass. And next, you know, she go on your phone. You always grab your phone. What the hell? Mrs Jones showing all her assets.
T:And now I'm gonna problems Everybody else Outraged as a group. Yeah, call up the whole damn pta. Nah, we all coming for mrs jones ass, she got the goat. No, absolutely, oh no, you're breaking up heavier. Nah, I'm teaching it. Sit your asses down. You can't be breaking up these people.
M:Happy homes, that's great exactly, and that's what's happening, because before, think about it, they didn't have that. But now, if people happy homes, that's great. Exactly, and that's what's happened, because before, think about it, they didn't have that. But now, if you look good and think about it, the teachers we had when we were going to school I didn't want to see them, bitches on OnlyFans, out the door on some steps sitting in the chair. I didn't want to see them motherfuckers at all, them old, haggard looking bastards. I don't want to fuck with them. But these teachers now You're like, oh my God, what the hell. So they're different.
M:I mean, you had a teacher who dressed us tight. I can't believe she's dressed like that. The woman had assets. She had dresses. What was she going to do with them? I mean she can't. She had exactly. She had a damn turtleneck from here and long pants. She's too sexy. She's wearing a fucking turtleneck and long pants. What the fuck? You mean she's dressed too sexy. That's how she is Her body banging so that you mad yeah no people.
T:Yeah, no, that turtleneck could do something different. Yeah, no, uh-huh, men will get mad at you stepping out when you going in. That it's a turtleneck. It's a turtleneck. Yes, that turtleneck gets you a certain type of way I love it.
M:So now these women are going through these teachers, new breed of teachers, going through things that previous teachers didn't have to go through. Plus, you have the social media. They have an opportunity to make more money. Why wouldn't you take advantage of it?
T:I can't fault them.
M:I can't fault them if they make an extra money.
T:Who's a man? Of course you can't fault them. Damn Jones shaking her ass on OnlyFans, fucking your wife head up. You done already pissed that woman off so many times. And now you're out here watching Miss Jones in addition to all these other bitches. She's an absolute many times and now you're out here watching Miss Jones in addition to all these other bitches. She said absolutely off with they heads. Now to play devil's advocate. Is that like you hating on a bitch? Like? Are you hating on a woman? Like what's happening here? Because, to a certain extent, like some women will argue, I'm not the reason of you know you and your man having any issues in your household. I'm not the reason why he's you know he's coming to this page, right? You perhaps could possibly what we say not handling your business, and maybe that's why he's showing up amongst these 90 percenters to view this OnlyFans collection.
M:And that's the thing T you just mentioned, something Women don't understand. You have to constantly make sure that you're in a spot to keep your man's attention.
T:I didn't mention that. I just don't. You're not going to put that off on me, malcolm. I just wanted it, that's all I did. I just wanted it. I didn't take accountability. I didn't say that's what we was not doing handling business and all. I didn't say that, I didn't.
M:I just had it thrown out there. You know I mean, hey, is that what you're saying? It's a possibility. It's like you know I go back to this thing Whatever got your man, you should continue to do to keep his interest. Now, as men, we're going to look. We're going to look. As women, you're going to look. You know, I get pissed off when I hear guys talk married guys talk about I can't my wife look at people. I say, motherfucker, she should look at people. I mean, she's going to look at people, you look at people. Well, yeah, what the fuck's the difference? Because you're still humans.
T:In front of him. Can he look at people in front of me? How long can the look last for? Is there like a time limit on how long he can't? Because if it is, I just feel like, if the gaze is too long, hold on, hold on.
M:As guys. To be smart, let me tell you guys, don't sit on it two seconds, two seconds without glasses. With glasses on, you can do a lot more, because with glasses on, you don't really know what you know. Sunglasses on, you don't really know what you're looking at, don't really know what you know. Sunglasses on, you don't really know what you're looking at. Because as long as you, as long as you hold her arm and you every once in a while look at her and nod your head, the rest of the time you're looking around, you can, you can scope all other kinds of shit.
M:Why are you out there? This is out there, like you know. Yeah, oh shit. Yeah, yeah, baby, you're right, you're right, you're right, but you gotta be strategic about it. You gotta be about it. You just can't be out there with no glasses on just looking. God damn, she's fine, damn, she got fed up. No, that's going to get you slapped up. It's going to get you not getting no ass probably walking home A lot of other bad things you don't want to have to happen For somebody that doesn't even know who the fuck you are and don't know you're looking at them and you're going to fuck them. You're happy home for that. No, you got to be strategic, you got to make sure you rotate.
T:There's a lot of stuff going on. You can't be in the 40 and over club and then you gawking at women still how many women. You haven't seen what is happening here. You haven't seen nice cheeks before. You've missed that all your life. I don't understand why At what point are before. You've missed that all your life. I don't understand why at this point we're still doing it. So if you're still doing that, you shouldn't. It looks too thirsty.
M:That's a very true statement. But the women put themselves out there like that Between these BBLs, and just everybody wants to show their body. It used to be when it gets warm, you can see ass. You see ass all the time. Now it's just ass.
T:If you're seeing it all the time, why are they still gawking out there? Why, why, sir, that's ass, that's all ass right there. Why are you so mesmerized over the ass, like it's taking y'all out out here? Half of them ain't even real. That's the other part.
M:Oh, and that's the other thing we look at too. I can tell you we be out there like, oh, that's natural ass right there, that's homegrown ass right there. But that, right there is ass growing in the lab, right there, that ass is putting it on somebody and at that point you're like, wow shit, go ahead, buy ass, oh shit. So we look at that and you know, depends on how it's formed, and sometimes so deformed you're like bitch, go back, get your money, go back. That shit doesn't start over. But you know all that just enhances. You know sexuality is all just enhances. You know sexuality is all around you. So, of course, when you talk about teachers, you got a fine teacher and she understands. Here's the other thing. This is the elephant in the room. Women have a finite time to use their beauty to this fullest extent. So if you're young, you're in your 20s and 30s, even 40s, and you have a nice, whatever asset you have, what's happening?
M:You have to tap in, you have to get that money. You have to tap in. I don't blame them because, again, gas is high, food is high, rent mortgage shit high, and if you're teaching money you can barely get over or barely get by, and not to mention you have student loans. So you add all that together and you're going to sit there. On one hand I could go work at Giant Food or Safeway and make a little money, or I could sit in the comfort of my own home, put on a bikini, put on some lingerie, put on nothing, and have money just fall into my account while I'm asleep. I pretty much going for me.
M:What I'm seeing is women say I'm going to use my assets until I can't use them no more. Or I get into a relationship. Or maybe I got a relationship with my husband or boyfriend, don't matter, they don't care that I do it. Take advantage of it. It's the ability to make money and not sell drugs, not sell ass, not do any stuff that people will quote, unquote, think that, oh, that's unsavory and you shouldn't do that, but it's higher here unsavory and you shouldn't do it.
T:Someone's touching you.
M:That's a big difference. See, there you're touching yourself behind all the fans. The other place, someone else is touching you.
T:Yeah, I mean I don't know, but I do think that it's. It works better if there's something defined that, as you know a parent, you know, you know what the rules and expectations are of the people who are going to be serving your kids, as well as, as a teacher, you know the rules and expectations of the county, oh, you know what the school system that you're serving, um, so stuff like this shouldn't happen unless you know you. You just you know, try to do it from the back door and you know you try to go around the rules and it is what it is. You got caught up and you know it's just not the look of the company that you represented. And you signed papers that stated you know you wouldn't represent yourself in such a way and you're ready to carry on. And at that point, shit, if it was OnlyFans and it was making you that much money. You're ready to carry on and at that point, shit, if it was only fans and it was making you that much money.
M:You okay to carry on. Yes, because again, you still gotta. You know, you gotta live. That's the only thing.
M:What people fail to realize is granted, we would love to just do the jobs we do and get paid well for what we do. And you would think, being a teacher, you'd be paid well because you could determine the future of the kids, the future kids, future society. So you would think you would take care of them. But it's obvious that they don't spend that money to take care of the teachers like they should, and we spend it on other things. And this is what you have. This is what happens because you got a younger mindset that they're like that's a hustle mentality, it's a hustle culture that's out here now. So I got bills it ain't covering, I'm going to do something to cover it.
M:And there are women who do go out there and say you know, I'm going to work at some department store or whatever to make money. But there's other ones that say, mm-mm, nope, I can sit here, do an hour worth of stuff, put it out there and I constantly make money Because now I can do it one time and people just sign on and constantly see it, so the effort of work is diminished. You don't have to. You're not trading time for money. You're actually just saying I'm going to spend this time to do what I need to do.
M:Put it on the site and guys will come to it and all I can do is take it and break it up and put it out there. However I want to do it, I'm not. I'm not breaking my back, I'm not losing any sleep. I don't make my money, so I can't. And the guys do it too. There's guys who do uh, only fan too. But you gotta use your assets. And again, if you don't want teachers to do it, pay them more. Just pay them more to do their job, and you won't see miss jones's assets anywhere else yeah, that's fair.
T:Let's talk about this. 90 of married men are only fans. Let's talk about that. Did you try to glaze right on by? Okay?
M:okay, um, yeah, based on some research, I, I, I look at three different sources. I said I don't believe this. I said it can't be 90% of men. And each time I kept finding it, I kept saying what's behind that?
T:OnlyFans themselves? Were they the ones who released that statement? Like that bit of statistic?
M:I think it was a couple, I think it was the OnlyFans, I think it was some other research groups were doing. They go out there and they sample certain people and see who's likely to look at OnlyFans. So it happens a lot. Married Guys responded back yeah, I'll check it out. And it's really, you know, for guys. To me it's the New Age strip club. Oh, okay, so still going out there, walking to a club, you know, sitting around, you know, and I mean I ain't gonna tell no secrets of what we do at the strip club, but you know you partake of the entertainment, you know you go out there, you have a little drink and going home. Now you don't have to go out to the clubs if you don't want to, if you guys still go, but you can just sit home and scan to go down a list of like back then strippers, you know peaches and cocoa and cinnamon, so you know. But now you just go and you go down to only fans like, oh, shoot, you go. Boom, is it comfortable?
M:your own home it's like it's one-on-one, it's like going to the VIP section, but it's not physical in that aspect, it's virtual love. So, you know, I think guys need a sense of relaxation also. I think, on top of that, we work hard Well, a lot of us work hard. Come home, maybe y'all not in the mood at that time, you know. Okay, you know I'm gonna harass you. I'm gonna go ahead and click on that little button.
T:That's what it was. I was in the mood, but she was on only fans. The woman not in the mood? Nah, we in the mood, yeah, but y'all was too busy, only fans. So now you not in the mood? Yeah. What if that's what happened? What if that's what's happening?
M:You know, and I also it's another thing they were talking about is a lot of the men that go on OnlyFans want to have conversation because you know you can do I've never been on OnlyFans y'all so I'm new to the game but they're saying that you can have conversation with them. So they're saying a lot of the women that they interview said that a lot of men who come on there more likely have conversation. Yeah, they go for the pictures and all the other stuff, but they like to have conversation with them and they complain a lot about their lives, about their wives, about situations, and they just want to talk. And so that's telling me women don't want to listen to men talk.
T:No, y'all liars. You done went to the damn lady that you had the audacity to be paying for conversation, told this broad every single lie that you knew she would hear, because you done paid her to listen to it. Your wife been complaining for years about how you don't want to talk to it. Your wife been complaining for years about how you don't want to talk to her, and everybody knows it, including her mama. And then you done gone to Peaches and told her how you don't want to. She don't want to talk to me, she don't want to listen. You don't want to listen to me. I've been trying to talk. Oh Lord, keep on doing that doing. No, sis, I ain't gonna hate on you, but shit nah, he's lying, don't know it see, see again.
M:A lot of times women don't want to listen to.
T:Just be honest, I want this does they don't want to listen to the bullshit after you done already disrespected them and not validated. Listening to the woman See, I think that a lot of men move off of a woman's reaction to their action, like you acted in a certain way and now I'm reacting to that, and now you mad. How the hell you piss me off, got me and my feelings. I'm upset. And now you mad because I'm upset. That's dumb. That's how men move. Oh, that's how you're going to feel.
T:Yes, you offended me. Now I'm in my feelings. You're not going to go right, you're not going to do the better to ease over the situation. Oh, so now you don't want to hear me? No, because you didn't want to talk to me when I wanted to talk. So now I'm acting like a bitch and I don't want to talk to you. And now you at Miss Peaches. You know used to be her room, but now you're in her virtual room telling her all types of lies about me. Uh-uh, miss Peaches got a man in real life, so she already know that you lying.
M:Oh Lord. The thing is though, you know, as I said, men we are emotionally immature for the most part, you know as I said, men we are emotionally immature for the most part. Because, again, no one trains men on how to handle their emotions. Because, again you, growing up, you was crying. Oh, you stop being a bitch, stop being a girl. So men hold that shit in. So, again, we don't know when we are attacked emotionally, we don't know how to react to it. So our reaction is you mad, fuck, I'm gonna be mad too.
T:You made me mad.
M:Shit, we're both mad, god damn it. We're both fucking mad and I'm like fuck it, yeah, you gonna stay mad because I'm mad. So now y'all both walking around mad for really no fucking reason, it's just communication issues, it's for a solid reason.
T:It's just communication issues, but not for a solid reason. It's for a solid reason. You didn't validate my feelings and that offended me, and then you was offended, that I was offended. You might as well set that on fire. At that point, I mean, what? What? There's nothing. There's nothing you can do.
M:That's why the man's on the computer, yes, and at that point if you want to man off the computer, then again that that takes a little work. That means that you're going to have to really understand where you're coming from and how to really talk to him my bad you know you got to learn how to talk to him, so again it so okay, never mind, never mind, that's what I mean.
M:Here's the thing team women under fucking stand when they date their man and they go and they go through the process and they marry him. They know who he is, they know his weaknesses, they know his strengths, but y'all kind of overlook the things that you want to overlook and not really deal with the things that you really should deal with, for instance, communication so you know like, yeah, you know he can't communicate, he can't express his feelings.
M:I know when he does talk about his feelings he get a little he stammer and stumber a little bit because he, because we can't. It's like if we weren't taught how to do it. We're just trying to get out words so maybe you can understand it and put it together. But then women, so y'all saying during that process, like you know what, I think you make him feel more comfortable expressing himself and, more importantly, that when he tells you something which a lot of guys have been sending to me on, you know, on the on the response to a lot of our stuff, they don't want that shit to come back and be used against them. I can't tell you how many women say that shit got me. Guys say I, I do not want to tell women's shit because, you're gonna fucking somehow down the fucking road.
M:Yeah, use that shit against me. And now you could. Yes, it's like they're waiting for that shit, they're waiting. You're like you got the big joker I'm waiting, motherfucker, waiting for you and caught you. And now you feel like the one person in I'm waiting, motherfucker, I'm waiting for you, I'm waiting for you. And now you feel like the one person in my life who I felt I could open my heart to and show her who I am. She fucking used it against me.
T:Men do the same thing too. It's just not on the same level, like the same amount of them, but I think women do do that. Yeah, let me take, take those items, put them in my little gun and, when it's time, I'm gonna shoot them off because, um, I don't know, that's that's one of our you know forefathers. That's that's what we stand strong at. That's how I knock you off your you know, that's how I knock you down, and sometimes I'll be having to be knocked down and see and again why we gotta be knocked down.
M:Why we gotta be knocked down why small in the corner crying?
M:call my sister up see that's the reason why we got the issues we got right now. And, let me be honest, it's really, it's a petty thing. If you really think about it. It's really a petty. It's like, oh, you hurt me, I'm gonna hurt you. And it's like if we're at a point where we're in a relationship, fuck it. If we're married, then we shouldn't be at that stage of being petty to hurt each other. Because, again, as I go back, and we've said many times, because we're a team, so if I did something to hurt you, you should just say, hey, this what you did, I don't appreciate it. And then, as a guy, we need to sit there and listen. But again, all this is learned behavior but we're past that scene.
T:The woman is like I've been doing that. I, you know, I tried to learn football sit down so he could relax and not annoy this man. You know, I keep bending. I keep bending and giving him everything that he wants, and I try to be agreeable and I try to be quiet, and he don't give me what I need. And so then it's like how do I try to get what I need from him when he's not giving me? You know what I need and I feel like I'm giving him the things that he's needed. I'm giving them.
T:You know food, love, respect, sex, everything. You know females? We feel like they porinate everything into a man and then you come home from work and he don't even want to talk to you. You know, you got a goddamn football game on, or a soccer game or a basketball game on 24 hours, like you got to watch the pregame, the game, the post game, the after game, the game don't stop for some of them. You know what I'm saying. And if it's not the sports game, you can name one man you can have a conversation with while he's video gaming.
T:So some men, they're selfish, most men are selfish, selfish, you know, and you want to come in the house, and then you I need to move. Sorry, because I went to work everybody went to work, dummy and you told me I need a minute, let me just play my game. I just need a minute. No, you don't got no minutes. We got three damn kids in here. I would like to, you know, talk to an adult who's not a co-worker, because I thought I had a life partner and you over there, told my oh, give me a minute. It don't feel like respect after a while. And so then the woman starts trying to figure out ways to, like I said earlier, try to kind of like manipulate the situation, like how do I toss something back at him that's gonna make him notice and realize that what he's giving is not what I'm wanting? And then we get carried away after that see and see, glad you brought that up.
M:You know, you said that it was just, and I'm, hey, 100 right behind that.
T:I had to say yes, all that, that was a lot.
M:That was a lot and very true. It's a very true argument and what I would say to that is those were the discussions that you should have had before you got married, before you got engaged. Because again that goes back to me to communication, and at that point you not going to really find out what someone thinks unless you communicate. If you go in your head based on what he should do, or he should know, or he should ought ought to know and understand this, no man ain't gonna understand what you where you from. Again, women from venus, men from mars, we're not. Unless you talk about it and you say, listen, if we have kids and this, and that, of course, early on you're going to say, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, but you want to have that conversation. Down the road you say, motherfucker, remember when we were talking about that and you said you're going to do this and this. Oh yeah, I did.
M:I'm having problems because, again, I understand you need your time, I need my time too time, I need my time too, but we got these three motherfucking kids, we got co-parent, you know, parent these kids. So I need a little help. We are a fucking team. I can't be on defense all the time and you sitting around the offense drinking goddamn Kool-Aid all day, talking about damn she out there working hard on that defense and I ain't doing shit and the offense, defense being the offense, the offense ain't doing shit, just the offense. The offense ain't doing shit. Just sitting around drinking fucking coffee, drinking shots and shit. No, motherfucker, we're a team, you're the offense, I'm the defense. Flip that shit around. We got to help each other doing this shit. So that's a real conversation that nobody has. And again, women don't have the conversation early because I want to hook them up, I want to get them. You want to look at all the nice shit? Then I'm like a lot of nice shit, it's nice shit. There's also fucked up shit. You need to have that conversation so you know the good shit and the bad shit, the yin and the yang. Don't just look at all the. He's handsome, he dance, he look good, he smell good, yeah, yeah, okay, that's fine.
M:How's this motherfucker with kids? How's his upbringing? Where did he come from? That would tell you what type of teaching, what kind of learning, needs to happen. If he came from a single family home and his mama did every goddamn thing, he's going to look at his mama, because that's what happens. You look at how you brought up and then he's going to act accordingly and you'll know when you meet the mama, like, oh, this motherfucker's a baby, motherfucker, mama's boy, I got to change his ass. Actually, it's not changing him, it's teaching him. It's training him, it's showing him a different way, it's opening his eyes to something else and not forcing him, but laying it out and say here's a better way, another way, not better. Another way to think, another way for us to help ourselves raise our kids. But it can't be you, it can't be me.
T:This is how we're we gonna approach things now. The other side to that um coin is the man who um has the at-home wife. Oh, lord and she ain't cooked no dinner. And now he come on me mad as hell. He can't move side because she's talking about some. Can you rest of the soul for me real quick? No, that man actually supposed to be able to come home and now he's sitting there don't know how to. Necessarily, you know, he don't want to storm on the woman, because then she, she, gonna melt right.
M:But then he has to try to manipulate that situation also to get what he wants from her as well and t that goes back to conversation again because again for her as well, and T that goes back to conversation again Because again for her to be a housewife. The conversation had to be had, I hope, because she can't tell me you know, you got to work and I'm going to stay home. The fuck you will. If you ain't got no kids, you're going to get your goofy ass out here. We're all working. Fuck that shit. You sit here and look at the run and the rush of some bullshit or some shit on IG and come home and you tell me this motherfucker on IG said some shit. Bitch. The motherfucker on IG should have told your ass cook a dinner, nigga, cook a dinner.
T:Stay-at-home wife just pisses y'all off Like the stay-at-home mom. Everybody can wrap their head around it, but the stay-at-home wife, oh y'all. Mad, oh y'all.
M:What? Again, unless she's sick, unless something fucking happened. If she had surgery or she was all sick somehow, she better get her ass out and do some fucking work. You can't be sitting home buying yourself nowadays on one goddamn income and you're like I want to go out. Fuck it. Go on too. I've been in the house too long. Get a job, bitch, you wouldn't be in the house. Fuck that, no, no, no. That Ozzie and Harriet, motherfucking beaver shit, that 50 shit don't exist, no more. You got to go out there. And I say this If you're out there and you're working and we're both working and we ain't got no kids then your money could be your money, depending on how much you're making, you know, depending on the bills and all that shit.
T:No, your money we're still sharing. Let's pull it all together. Don't pull that. Our money do sharing, just pull it all together. Uh-uh, don't pull that. How much money hours we are together together now? No, a no man, never, ever, bob. Nah, that's just just keep your money to yourself. Absolutely not, babe, let me put this in your account. No, uh, because you know I ain't got as much as you got.
T:Uh-uh, they're not about to do that see, and again, I'm just trying to avoid the arguments because you can't be as a as a wife, you can't be home all day and not cook dinner I just feel like some of these, even even some of these conversation pieces that you have in the beginning, I just don't think that they can save you from these arguments later on down the road. Can they? Can they really? I think they can help you. Like you said, remind somebody hey, the expectation and what we set out for, but does it really solve us? Solve it for later on down the road?
M:I don't, I don't think it will, but at least you had a discussion. You popped the cap on it, so you can't be like we never had this conversation and shit all those years. We didn't do that. Oh yeah, we did, and then we did Hold on.
T:Oh no, uh-uh, no, you ain't never tell me I had to get a job. I've been staying at home. What's the problem? Now you can afford it, yeah, see, see now.
M:And at that point, a lot of guys are just going like fuck that, no, and that's why a lot of guys are scared to get married. Oh no, I ain't trying to get tied up like that and it's like you gotta have these conversations early again. While you're having conversations about what you like and all that shit, have other conversations, have uncomfortable conversations, because that's how you get to know somebody, by saying you know, what do you do, what would you do? And that rolls into another question that I saw recently, and I'm going to say it this way You're dating, you're all through the process, you're doing things, you're doing the dirty, and you told your woman that I don't want a kid, I don't want kids, but along the way she ended up getting pregnant and she's got to kind of want to get an abortion.
T:She got pregnant or they got pregnant together.
M:Well, he helped her get pregnant.
T:I've never seen a woman get pregnant on her own, absolutely not. No, you got me pregnant. You did this to me.
M:So, yes, so we participate in a game that ended up with you me helping you get pregnant and you know, in the beginning we talked about he didn't want a kid and she's like I'm not going to have an abortion and the question was for the man what should you do?
T:run like hell because you is the daddy now. You is the daddy now. Baby, you can run, but you can't hide. Welcome to fatherhood, my brother. Yeah, go ahead and get you a little diaper subscription. Get you that little diaper rash cream together for your house. The baby coming over there, uh-uh for a dad now. Don't tell nobody that you don't want to have kids other than your penis.
M:That's that and the guys were living. The guys are like she knew I didn't want kids, but she had one. She would have one anyway.
T:No, you didn't want kids because you made the child.
M:I told a guy who said that to me and I said, bro, it was totally, you could totally not have a kid. In fact, it's not up to her, it's up to you, yeah. So while she was all bent over in the prone position and you're like, damn, I ain't got no condoms on me, but I'm gonna go ahead, I'm do the old pullout routine and maybe that'll work. So you're being.
T:That's what you're saying, because in 2024 we're like hold on, we got condoms, we got birth control, we got plan b and you still had a baby that you didn't want after all. No, no, you have a baby that you wanted, that you fathered with a conscious mind, and now, now you're going to raise this child and be a good father. That's all and again.
M:Like I tell, I tell guys I said listen. And again, like I tell I tell guys I said listen. You may say that I don't want no kids and all that. Yeah, you'll say it, but women will hear kid, baby. They're not hearing you clearly. They're like okay If I, especially if you out there, raw dogging.
T:It's the only thing that like makes sense, like it's like you didn't want a relationship. But you out here, you know, spending the night, every night, making sure the door is locked before y'all go to sleep. You know you're paying the rent, you know you paying the car note I don't want no relationship. No, this is the relationship and we're in it. Like, your words are saying one thing but your actions are proving something else. We need to get our words to align with our actions and then you become a respectable person. So to have a man or to want us to identify people as you, you know being a mature man right, and your words are not aligning up with your actions, you don't qualify as a mature man and that's fair. But if we're going to have the conversation and we're going to do it amongst mature people, this is not acceptable. You can't sit.
T:And what do we do? We go to the local target and we get them pampers and them wipes and that andy ointment. Go ahead and pick up some onesies too, because that baby is doing 40 weeks. That's all we're going to do. Send out them invitations because your mother is going to enjoy the baby shower. Yeah, you ain't gotta do too much because they're doing way too much nowadays for the baby shower. But, um, yeah, we're gonna have us a baby shower and um, he's having us a baby because wow, so, so there's this.
M:So basically, you're saying there's no, or god can ask like listen, are you sure you?
T:we can go ahead, you can go, take care of that there are several women who a man get them pregnant and he look at you, you want to get an abortion? Bitch is like, yeah, I don't want to do a baby, leave her. She going to run to the clinic, you hear me, but that's her choice. Yeah, we're all out here making choices. Okay, I wasn't in control of where you squirted, what you squirted. You decided to keep that in and squirt up inside. You kind of pulled it out. I wasn't in control of that. That was your body part. You got to choose for your body parts and what you was going to do with it. And I'm going to choose for mine because that's just how God made it. And if you say that's not fair, that's unequal. Your equal parts, parts. You already made your choice with, like, which direction you was going to shoot in. Hold on, hold on, no, go ahead, because you know what the other side to this oh, I don't want no kid right now and I can't do it.
T:They're amazing, they're absolutely amazing. They're freaking incredible. Yeah, they get on your nerves sometimes and they can be annoying and they're your brokest best friends, but they're absolutely amazing and incredible people. And those 18 years of life okay, those first 18 years of life are the fastest years that you could ever run past. That's true.
T:Acting like that towards the people that's taking care of us, later on acting like they strangers, oh I ain't wearing. No, you don't fix your damn face for that legacy that you just brought into this world, and be grateful that you even have someone to look, that can look up to you, that's going to actually give a shit about you, even when you shit on them. Stop playing with me. I'm tired of us disrespecting these kids at this point. It's getting carried away, we out here having trying to have a quick nut, quick fun, that's all good. Pregnancy sex is just as amazing. That's the part nobody wants to talk about. No, absolutely not. Sir, you had a baby because you made the baby, trying to take care of the baby and enjoy the baby. That's what I'm gonna go with damn that shit.
M:You don't put it out, you don't wrap, you don't put all that shit together like and I go back to guys when you play adult games, you win adult, adult prizes.
T:That's it. That's it. That's it. That was in a nutshell.
M:Okay, yes, it's as simple as that, you know, and I don't understand why we go into that. But be aware, I don't care how fine she is, I don't care if it's right there. You can't help yourself for that second. You have fucking said oh, if this goes bad or goes sideways, I can have a kid. Can I afford to have a kid? And only and you know, because you're like fuck, I'm struggling Just take care of myself. Multiply that by a hundred times.
M:That's how it's going to be taking care of kids and you're going to take care of the kid One way or the other. You're going to take care of your kid. Either you're going to do it willfully or the court's going to make you do it. So be prepared for, you know, just to be out there willy-nilly swinging it. You're going to pay dearly for it. Yeah, oh T. I saw something on goddamn Reddit. It had me rolling, Rolling like shook my head. This young lady was talking about she had seen some ladies and she asked a question. She said would you rather have a broke father at the house taking care of the kids, or would you have a financially responsible baby daddy to send you a check but not take care of the kids at the home. She said that all the women said I'd rather get that check than to have that broke ass man in my house taking care of my kids.
T:She went off. That's out of order. You got to take care of the broke ass in the house. He said consistently. He said he ain't involved in fucking serial playing, damn video games. They ain't help nobody get dressed for school. But that's what you chose and know y'all gonna have to do y'all work. Yeah, you Shit. I mean that's what's sad. I don't know why they trying to paint us into the worst situations to be having. What's the worst situation? Tell me?
M:She said that shit T. She said I feel. She said I feel disgusted for being a black woman. She said that for being a black woman, she said I feel disgusted First of all, y'all not going to keep putting us in these crazy ass positions.
T:That's number one. Okay, either I got a broke man in the house or I got a steady check outside of that. Either way I'm broke because I'm tired as hell. Either I'm tired from being a single mother or I'm tired from being a single mother and having to look at his ass every day inside the house. Like, either way, y'all just been painted out one of the worst pictures for being a woman. That's not. That's not If people don't know. You know, just for the record.
T:You're supposed to choose the man in your home. Hello, yes, you're supposed to choose that dude. Supposed to choose a present male figure inside of the home. For several reasons, you know. I just can't. I just can't show or teach my son how to think and move right. You have to see it, you have to breathe it, you have to be around it. I was on vacation and I looked up and my nephew was with me. My nephew, walk like my brother-in-law, okay, wow, in and talk to people like my brother-in-law. He got that social, like charismatic, like you know. Go about him like my brother-in-law, right, like he, like he. The children will emulate how you move, how you laugh, right. They'll choose which parent they're going to without even thinking about it. Who they're going to laugh like, right.
T:Who they're going to imitate and copy from and copy from they're going to be picking and choosing and, as a young boy, you need a man to see how that man moves, how he just goes in the refrigerator and grabs something out of the refrigerator, how he moves about in the kitchen. It's totally different than a woman.
M:Yes.
T:As weird as it sounds, even the way they open up the refrigerator and grab something out of the refrigerator is going to be different. So no, you actually want the presence of a man in your home who is biologically linked to those kids. You know that's definitely a benefit, um, to show them and to be able to imprint on them the things that you just can't sit down and teach someone what to do, how to move, how to be.
T:Yeah that's, that's, that is so we felt that we shouldn't have been taken. Malcolm, that's what happened there like we shouldn't have been taking that. Why y'all didn't put us between a rocky and a hard damn place. Damned if you're doing, damned if you don't. We still tired at the end of that day. That wasn't. No, I didn't like that. They set us up for failure, but we got to work it straight.
M:Just so we know, just so we're clear oh, my god, and thank you, because again I was sitting there thinking the reason we got the issues we got right now with our kids is because you don't have the fathers involved in these kids lives. And if the mama again said I could everything, you can't do everything. You are doing everything but you shouldn't do everything because there's two parties to this connection. So, and again, I don't even the only reason, the only thing I think personally if a guy has been violent to you or been handsies and abused you like that, then no, he shouldn't be involved with your life and he obviously should be involved in the kids life because he obviously got some issues he got to deal with. That's the only reason I can see a father not being in a kid's life or in your life, because that's just around everybody.
M:So but this whole choosing money over the over a good father he just happened to be broke or out of work or whatever it just sends us down that road that we're currently going on, which is not a good ending for anybody.
T:Yeah, yeah, I mean, I hope they're not. So let's stop that. Let's stop that. You know that notion that we got all these broke-ass fathers in the Black community. Nah, we got fathers that feel like they're being taken advantage of, who don't want to be taken advantage of, and so they're going to mix and maneuver. But nah, that's that phrase just keeps going. Where the hell did that come from?
M:It's coming out of all these places. It's definitely pissing guys off Because again, I see it all the time. When you know they always want to make us look bad. We're out here working and struggling and shit, trying to take care of shit. You know, again, granted, I'm not going to disrespect my kid, you know, mama, it is what it is. But, bitch, I got to work and I'm trying to take care of this. And again I hear you. I say I feel you, but again you understand you have a responsibility because you went out there and had kids, by whomever. It is your responsibility as a man to take care of your responsibilities. So if you're a little broke, you got to get a second job.
T:That's number one. They don't like the idea of getting two jobs. They're like what? No, they don't like the idea of getting two jobs. They're like what? No, sometimes you got to get two jobs. You know two hustles more than one stream of income.
M:It's just the way your you know bank is set up, as we like to say Exactly, exactly. And again, that goes back to control, that goes back to being accountable and ownership in your shit. When you have one kid and you got to take care of you should, at that point you know what. That's enough for me. Who I'm dating, I got this one kid I'm taking care of. I'm good because she's going to want a kid.
M:I personally can't take care of more than two kids really two kids and a wife, so I'm just glad to slow down on doing some things. You got to have that conversation, but again, it's based on a conversation and actions that you did. Actions had consequences. This is your consequence. You got the kid. Can't suffer because you're, I don't want no kids, or or you know anything like that. The kid eats every day. Kid goes bad from it every day, has clothes every day. That's your responsibility as a father. Yeah, is it hard? Right, it's hard, but you made it hard, you made the decision. She didn't take your dick and shove it up in her and said just leave it there and then, boom, we have a kid. You did you could have buried yourself. I'm not even gonna do it because I don't want I won't get caught, but not fatherness we not committed.
T:I don't know what's going to happen. You probably out here trying to trap me. Men like to trap women and pretend like they didn't, but that would be a whole other conversation. But either way, this is the vibe. We all got to pick and choose what we're doing out here.
T:You know, because if you're sleeping with a woman and she says to you, you tell her I, I don't want no kids. And she'd be like, oh, me either, and she's not on any bit of birth control, but she's just letting you have the field day with her. She's down for whatever, probably. So yep One scream out she trapped me. Yep, sure did Like what are you?
M:Hey, gentlemen, I think you should look for pills or patches or any of that shit. Don't just take a word for it that they ain't on nothing.
T:See, but that would require one thing, ralph. What would that take, what would that require?
M:A conversation.
T:Yes, you're absolutely right, that will take conversations that guy actually talked to know what she's on. You get what I'm saying yes, yes, damn.
M:And again they got to. They gotta have the conversation though t they have to. Yeah, I mean you would think before again what we said before previously.
T:Because some of these men then slept with men who they thought was women and they mad, mad at them. So there's not a lot going on beforehand, I'm just convinced there's a lot of oopsing going on out here. Oops, the wrong gender. Oops, I had a baby. Oops, oops, no, no Men have to stand in their lead ship. Man, come on, you got to stand up, you got to grow up and you got to be accountable for what it is that you're doing.
M:Yes, absolutely, absolutely. You can't be like I're doing yes, absolutely, absolutely.
T:You can't be like I was drunk, I was high.
M:If I hear that shit one more fucking time y'all fucked her, man. I ain't know she was a dude, I was drunk, I was high, I was boated. Man, fuck that. Before I do any of that, can you check?
T:Can you check? Before you do shit, especially around people you don't know, because it was people, not just women.
M:People, yes, everybody need love. Yeah, and this is so true and, like I said, I'm not. I'm gonna say this been to atlanta. There's a beautiful, beautiful. I saw so many women that I thought were women. There were men, it was mind-blowing and I was like, oh my, I mean ass, everything. Only to one guy had almost a full Not full but very nice beard and from behind, asked for dates.
M:But if you were like kind of look at the ass, didn't want to look at the face, and just just had a conversation, which I don't understand how you have a conversation, not look at them but and just say, oh, you know, I have a few drinks that ass got me, it's gonna get you, but you can't, you can't allow that to happen. You gotta, you gotta ask questions. You gotta really ask questions, like especially when you have transgenders who don't want to talk about their, what they're going through. You you're gonna have to say something and again you can. I I feel I feel like a woman by. I feel like a woman, but I have man parts. There are guys that would go for that.
T:There are yeah, so again the pool, again the pool is large. The pool is large, but you have to be informed when in the pool, so you know who you're playing with there.
M:Absolutely.
T:You pairing up with somebody who's the wrong gender, or you pairing up with somebody who wants kids, versus and you don't want kids, or you don't want that gender. That's you not vetting that situation. That's not them. Like, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying some people don't tangle with a little deceit, but you got to protect yourself. Men have, because you know they love to tell us oh, y'all gotta protect yourself, y'all just letting them take advantage. No, we are we not stepping up and we're not vetting the men properly and we're not, you know, um, giving ourselves time and space to figure these guys out. Nah, but it goes both ways. So we both can't be out here um claiming to be the victim, because that is getting crazy out here, that today's man is like a victim.
M:That sounds crazy to me when I hear that I'm being victimized. You're being what? By whom? And why are you being victimized by anybody? If you're the man, you're the leader, you shouldn't be victimized by anybody and you shouldn't be victimizing anyone either. So again to hear that something has gotten really skewed and and everybody wants to blame, fuck a blame. But the thing is, if you have a conversation with them and be real, like hey, if, if it's a girl, you know, if you like women and have look like it's a woman, looks like a woman, because again, these bodies beautiful, beautiful women, but they just happen to be men, still have men at home. But you got to ask that question. But you can't just assume and not ask the question. Then find out, surprise, you know, when you take it to that level and then want to whip that person's ass.
M:Is people by them, obviously. But at that point I don't put my hands on you, I have to blame me, like why the fuck I even let myself get to this point and not even ask the question or dig deeper, but I just let. I just take it there. So again, ownership and accountability. Can we as men get back to that and stop blaming people for shit? We got to own our shit. You know, if we ain't leading, then we ain't being led. Yeah.
T:And you know, if we didn't do better, you gotta choose to do better, exactly, exactly if your mother's, and then be blaming all of them like they was all the problem.
M:No, you can't do that. That you can't do four ladies later.
T:They got great jobs, like you're talking about, when they all got this and that because of you they don't. They got amazing families. They come from two parent households Like no, you're the common denominator.
M:Absolutely and then, it goes back to ownership we got to ownership you know, and we got to do better. And, girl, this conversation, this is going to be a good one. I saw this too. A mother was arguing with her baby's father's new girlfriend about disciplining their kid. Oh yeah disciplining their kid? Oh yeah, so what do you think about the girlfriend or wife of the baby's father disciplining your kid?
T:So, yeah, I don't remember when any adult used to be able to pop the kids when you was out.
M:Yes, yes, that happened back there. We knew that the village got. I got an ass whipping from not only my parents, but the next door neighbor whipped my ass. And then by the time, well, the next door neighbor whipped my ass. By the time I got home I got my ass whipped by them because I made them look bad with my next door neighbor because we were all, all the kids were being watched by everybody. So that was that unknown. But now in this new world, just don't touch kids.
T:Don't tighten down your kids doing the most on Instagram ain't doing nothing in school and you know, don't let them play sports, but you know, don't touch your kids. Um. So what I saw in that video was um, when two wrongs just don't quite make a right, um, the wife the current wife knows how hurt that woman is in real life and she knows that that woman is going through it like you literally got her man and like we said in several podcasts over women can be in their feelings for 18 plus years. Like them, kids would be off getting married to my grandkids and you still can't stand that man right yep um, but if somebody's in a feeling that deeply and heavily, you I wouldn't.
T:I wouldn't play too rough with those people, right, I wouldn't I. Just because that's. It's just so pitiful, like you don't have to stoop down to the hurt person's level to try to hurt them some more. Stoop down to the hurt person's level to try to hurt them some more. And when I say that I'm not referencing you disciplining the child, I'm referencing how she was receiving her in the doorway. It was like she was with the shits, like if you pop off, I'm gonna pop off too. Then I do what I want, because this is my house like that type of situation. She should have just simply closed the door, excuse herself from the door. Husband, you know your, your your ex baby mother, your baby mother's at the front door. You can go in and handle that and those two could have had they scream and match.
T:Well, you know she sat on the couch and sipped her tea because, like she said, inside of my house I'm going to operate my household like how it needs to be necessarily operated and if there's a child in this home that needs to be properly disciplined, especially a female child, I execute that discipline because ain't nobody kid going to be inside my damn house disrespecting me. I don't care if I do or don't pay no bills up in here. This my damn house. And what you won't do is send your stinking ass attitude daughter up inside my damn house acting like you don't know. She got a stinking ass attitude when she can't get her way. All kids got a stinking ass attitude when they can't get their way. And now here you come, got the audacity to send your miserable ass on my doorstep. I wouldn't have the time or energy for it. Oh, good morning, excuse me. Go to my damn couch, sit in my giant cup of tea, keep that shit moving, because misery loves company, it loves company.
T:We have to stop, as women, being in those positions. I'm not saying that woman's the other woman, she's not, she's the wife. But we have to stop giving the person who's hurt. They're not just bitter, they're not just sad. People are hurt, genuinely hurt. I'd be hurt too. That man was probably supposed to be her. Forever guy. Come on, forever guy. Way too soon. I'm going to need a minute. Don't put no more fuel on those types of people's fires when they're really going through it and you out there thriving and living your best life. Have some humility, walk away, go sit down. The Lord will bless you later for it, guarantee it.
T:Because the wife was out of order, just off her energy, in that doorway. She could have taken her little happy self and excused herself right from that little door. Ma'am, you're confrontational. We will have no conversations. You may speak to your, you know, to my husband. Close the door and go get him. He can open up the door when he's ready to speak. Because he came to the front door, like what are you doing here? So she in that front door, you know taunting her because she knows she hurt and sad, and so she's like, no, I'm gonna hear her out and let her go through all the stuff and let her toss her little neck around it. You know, let her do anything and everything she wants to get her excited, excited to where she feels like now she has a reason to lash back on this woman. You, you out of order. Sis, you knew, yeah, y'all did add in fuel to that woman's fire like that. That woman was raging inside, that woman was hurt yes, she was.
M:And then one thing that guys don't realize is you may move on and marry someone else. She will always dislike you because she's always like you said before you were her forever guy, you was the guy that you guy that you had a baby by her, but you didn't close it, yeah.
T:And this guy he didn't do a good job at communicating anything Like. He's still disrespecting that woman.
T:Most of the things that happened in that scenario could have, you know, been alleviated if he would have had just the upfront conversation with her. You know, they probably patient because he wasn't willing to have some upfront conversations. How we, you know, we don't know. But, um, we're gonna assume that the energy he had before is probably what he's doing now and that's, you know, just kind of being aloof and the aloof man who kind of just pretends like he don't see on. Or you know, just kind of being aloof and the aloof man who kind of just pretends like he don't see on. Or you know your wife and your sister is going at it and you don't feel like you need to intervene. Or your mom is disrespecting your wife and you don't feel like you need to say nothing. Or you know your brother's doing too much around. You know that aloof ish You're the problem and the solution.
M:You're absolutely right. You're absolutely right. That again goes back to you being a leader. You're not a leader. Sometime You're a leader all the time.
M:The situation you don't want to fucking do. You have to do it, you have to deal with it. That's part of the plan of being the king, the head, the man, the boss. The shit you're going to have to deal with, that you don't want to deal with. And this is a case in point For me. When I saw that, I was like this was a discussion that should have happened a while ago. This shouldn't have just happened now. You should have said listen, if this baby's in my house, we discipline differently. Now she's in my house, In your house. I don't tell you how to run your house. You can't tell me how to run my house. You know I'm not gonna put my daughter or son in a position where my wife is gonna abuse them. I'm not gonna do that because that's still my kid, that's still our kid, that's still part of me.
T:I'm not gonna come here to the doorstep and drag her if you have to. So I'm not gonna do that. Most men not.
M:That's dumb no, I'm not gonna do that because again that kid has to go back to the mother. And now I've now started something that's gonna be ugly, because now she started putting shit in her head she's gonna come with attitude. She may have had a little attitude, but by the time she brings her ass back she's gonna really have attitude. You're gonna really test me and for me as the father and the head of the house. I didn't get this shit straight. I said now we're not gonna beat on it, we're not gonna do anything, we're gonna have a sit the fucking house on fire and say, oh, go sit in the corner, that shit ain't gonna happen. And, like you said, I was at work. What am I supposed to do? Well, you should have done something way before you got went to work.
M:This is a situation that didn't just pop up because you went to work when you got married. You should have known this. I'm going to have my kid. I'm in the kid's life. I got to make sure everybody is moving accordingly. I can't have drama because I want you to have drama with my baby's mother. I don't want her to have no issue with you.
M:We all love the baby, so let's just make sure that we do right by the baby and keep our feelings at bay. We may talk to each other Like let's go out to dinner and have a conversation, maybe some things come up, but don't do that in front of the kids, because if you do that in front of the kids you're setting that kid up to play one against the other, because again she's arguing like because that ain't my mama, that's my daddy's woman. I don't like her as anyway. So she's going to start playing those games back and forth. But you can't allow that to happen, because now we all have to be adults. You decide to have a baby by this woman and not commit to her fully. You know you're going to have problems Because now you moved on and you married someone else and you don't think she's pissed off. Why the hell would he marry her and not marry me? And I had your kid?
T:yeah, a lot of these women don't marry after that situation.
T:You know so that woman, I'm quite sure she was still single and I don't want to be like oh, you know, you live in that woman's life but a lot of us think about it like that, like yo, yo, she's living the lifestyle that I had thought I had. I thought I had it, I got this man, I did everything right. You know that's what a lot of women will be feeling like. And then you're taunting me Like you know, you feel like someone's taunting you and that's why the woman was so hard. You can't imagine that someone would have went that hard if there was another man in her life. You know, calming her mental space down, giving her peace, maintaining her peace and showing her new.
T:You know experiences and lifestyles in life. You know you have a level head at that point. You know your child comes to your house and they say oh, you know, I got a spanking today. You know, at dad's house you do turn around and do what you do because you did they had cost yourself an ass whooping over the weekend. You visually can see your child has no bruises. Like ain't nobody get up, you know, but they will pow, pow and um. A level-headed woman would have just simply inquired. You know, what did you do? It's like coming home from grandma's house, you know, but ain't nobody still gonna tell when grandma spank you? You?
T:know, they're not. They're not gonna tell that. Nah, grandma spanked, because you know mom is gonna look at you and say well, what did you do?
M:Absolutely.
T:And as long as those children are not being abused, um, they're fine, and you would see that the child would um start acting accordingly when they know they can't play both sides against themselves, right?
M:they go.
T:You, you're going to think twice before you real live. Go home and tell your mother that you got in trouble, because now your ass is in trouble again. You was talking to her and said what like what? No, you're a child. You say, oh, okay, now let me take this away from you too on top of that, so you know how to talk to adults absolutely, absolutely.
T:You gotta have discipline yeah, once y'all all get on the same page. I'm not saying you know, it's all lemon drops from there, but life will treat you much easier, give you better life, if you stop allowing the kid to play y'all against each other and you get the hell up out of your feelings.
M:You know and that goes for both. We talk about the woman. That goes for the man too.
T:You can't be dropping the kid off the worst, that's the worst thing ever.
M:Hell nah you can drop the kid off the door. Also another dude come on what you at my door for you mad because you got remarried.
T:She got married to this guy, he gonna cuss her, say all types of oh no, they, they a whole nother level of man, uh-uh. That's why it's so dangerous when men get mad, because you know they have like a major danger element with them. Women get mad, you might get your ass in the car and get from the front of my house. Yeah she fine.
M:Nah, don't get that man off too much unhinged I'm fucking hing hands and again, because we're gonna lash out at you. It's, it's, it's a whip ass time. It's not even a negotiate. No, I'm whipping somebody's ass because now you got two bulls trying to say who's who's the main bull, who's the who's the main bull. So we just gotta do better, because this is this is you're affecting the next generation. We already got a generation that's going through a lot of issues anyway, but these things are just exacerbating a lot of issues they had, because now you, you actually are raising broken kids become broken adults and when they're broken adults.
M:It's going to continue the madness, because what are they going to use to offset that?
T:and it's like it's, it diminishes the greatness in our, you know, in our community and within ourselves. Right, because how great can I be if I'm fucking mad and angry at old boy all the time, and the only time I'm at peace is when you know there's another man up in my face. You kind of get what I'm saying like only happy through you. You know, love, you're only happy through your job. You know. It's gotten to the point where we, we, we, holding on to stuff, that's just, it's just not sensible at this point. Right, love, you need internal happiness. I think that's what I'm trying to say, that internal happiness. And it's not going to come from the man who's you know, loving on you, because the same man that loves you is the same man that break your heart. The same woman that's going to love you is the same woman that's going to break your heart. And I guarantee you, if I love you, I'm going to break your heart too. You know, just give me some time to patch that thing back up, and vice versa. It's over a lifetime back up, and vice versa, it's it's over a lifetime. You can't expect not to be heartbroken by the person who you love the most. It's just not plausible.
T:But to take to act the way that we're acting and to back each other up. Like if that was my sister and she told me that that's what she had wanted to do, I'd be like, girl, we need to go to the bar and we got to talk shit about these men and they little you know what I'm saying ladies too, but we're going to do that in the bar, amongst each other. You know, we're going to talk about it and we're going to do whatever we got to do and we're going to have us a vent session, because that's basically what that woman did on her doorstep. But instead i'ma save my girl from looking crazy out there and also maintaining her relationship because these are all relationships that we create and maintain it, and staying in that relationship with that man and his new woman, because now those people don't even trust that woman no over here no she'll lose cannon, and rightfully so, but she's also a sister.
T:You know what I'm saying? Yep and we went to the same church. You'll be over there calling her sister such and such we hello, and we looking at each other like strangers and treating each other like shit, like we just nothing. And and we out here co-parenting the same child. Misery up off your sisters, get that misery up off your cousins, get that misery up out of our damn community because it's destroying us left and right damn girl, I, I, I was go.
M:I was gonna say again why? I don't know why you tried you always somehow, so way, wrap everything up in a damn perfect bowl, just a nice christmas gift. And it's the truth. We just have to do better as a community, because our kids are suffering, the men are suffering and the women are suffering. Forget all this. You know, women ain't shit, men ain't shit. We need each other in order for this community to grow and thrive again. Yep, and like you said, see, we got to do better, we have to do better. And with that we're going to end this episode. I want to mic with the M M-C. Listen, people, you know what you got to do. Hit the like button, subscribe to the channel, get all the new podcasts that's coming up soon, and until again next time. Peace and blessings y'all.