Prepare to navigate the oft-ignored yet critical crossroads where love meets pragmatism. Our latest episode peels back layers on prenuptial and postnuptial agreements, showcasing Jeannie Mai's divorce to highlight asset protection as a savvy move—not a trust issue. Tune in for an eye-opening discussion on the why and how of legal safeguards before marriage, offering a fresh perspective on preparing for life's what-ifs while deeply in love.
In the wake of a global health crisis, the conversation shifts to underline the vital importance of frank dialogues on finances, health emergencies, and caregiving. We dissect the emotional labor involved and its impact on partnerships, unmasking the gendered expectations that can burden relationships. By sharing stories of adversity and resilience, we underscore the need for empathy and growth when life throws a curveball at love and commitment.
Wrapping up, we confront the unavoidable adult responsibilities with both humor and sincerity, discussing the messy outcomes of passing without a will and the significance of expressing final wishes. We examine the seductive traps of the funeral industry and emphasize the necessity of life insurance and clear communication in a marriage. This episode isn't just a conversation; it's an essential guide for couples intent on fostering maturity and foresight in their union.
Go to http://www.overcometoobecome.com to see all of the Video Podcasts and the other podcasts under the "Overcome 2 Become" YouTube Channel
Follow M at @overcometoobecome and T at @tress_city on Instagram
Email us at overcometoobecome@gmail.com for thoughts, comments and show suggestions. Come join the discussion
Prepare to navigate the oft-ignored yet critical crossroads where love meets pragmatism. Our latest episode peels back layers on prenuptial and postnuptial agreements, showcasing Jeannie Mai's divorce to highlight asset protection as a savvy move—not a trust issue. Tune in for an eye-opening discussion on the why and how of legal safeguards before marriage, offering a fresh perspective on preparing for life's what-ifs while deeply in love.
In the wake of a global health crisis, the conversation shifts to underline the vital importance of frank dialogues on finances, health emergencies, and caregiving. We dissect the emotional labor involved and its impact on partnerships, unmasking the gendered expectations that can burden relationships. By sharing stories of adversity and resilience, we underscore the need for empathy and growth when life throws a curveball at love and commitment.
Wrapping up, we confront the unavoidable adult responsibilities with both humor and sincerity, discussing the messy outcomes of passing without a will and the significance of expressing final wishes. We examine the seductive traps of the funeral industry and emphasize the necessity of life insurance and clear communication in a marriage. This episode isn't just a conversation; it's an essential guide for couples intent on fostering maturity and foresight in their union.
Go to http://www.overcometoobecome.com to see all of the Video Podcasts and the other podcasts under the "Overcome 2 Become" YouTube Channel
Follow M at @overcometoobecome and T at @tress_city on Instagram
Email us at overcometoobecome@gmail.com for thoughts, comments and show suggestions. Come join the discussion
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to on the mic with the M and T, listen y'all, we got merch. Look, look, Listen, the, how off the press. We got it all. Just go check it out, go to overcome, to become calm and just select. We got everything. We got women's gear, men's gear, all kinds of gear. So definitely, this is just beginning.
M:I got more stuff coming out later on, but the beginning, when this is this particular one is is called God's mentality, but that's for another discussion, is a little deeper, but it's about a mentality and, of course, locks in love and look at the face, nice, ain't it? Go get you one, get your couple, get you quite a few. So, yeah, we got a lot going on this year. You know we got the merch out. Now we got some other things coming up. We got some special other projects coming out. There we're gonna come out with talking to different people about different things. So we're ratcheting everything up in 2024. So just wanted y'all know, go pick up some gear now. We're gonna talk today about ratchety women, men. If you got money, protect yourself, get that prenup, because if not you're gonna like like jeezy go take all your shocking.
T:That was shocking. But what did happen? Because we did, you know, like everybody else does. We were on Instagram like normal. We hit the scroll button and it's like huh genie, my doesn't want the judge to enforce the pre, not because she didn't get a chance to read it come on now a prenup.
M:Come on y'all before you get married, not after. So he had her a piece of paper.
T:Yeah, papers the opportunity to say hey, you know, I would like to protect myself in this way, right, right, sure you had the opportunity to protect yourself in your way, absolutely. And you signed off and say yes, this is what we're gonna do, and also till death, do us part. So now.
M:Now team this, this. Let's be honest, there was a time when people got married and that really meant something and it really still do to a degree. But now you got money involved and money than people ever, never. People have never had this kind of money that we're talking about. I mean, you got people that million.
T:I think you know that whole idea of till death. Do us part when it's time to die for it. Everybody, everybody in the pool, I'm sorry, everybody in the pool it's like, yeah, no, I don't, I don't really want to die cuz, cuz of the situation. Nobody wants to die over love or marriage they just don't want to do it.
T:And so the other parts of that, you know, is the freedom of bringing here, because, ultimately, if we know that this situation, we can get out of it right. The next thing is well, what am I getting out of it with? Cannot leave with everything I came in with it, you know, cannot leave with what we created in it. Those, those, the questions, at the end of the day, when it's time to leave yeah, and the thing is, people don't realize there's a pre enough in a post and we talk about pre enough all the time protect yourself, you know, before you get in the marriage.
M:But there's also so-called post enough that protects you if the marriage doesn't work. So you're going, it's okay, we buy property while we're married, then we split it 50 50 or however you do, yeah, but that's what you should do once you get married. To be honest, I think you should have that conversation before you get married, because I get an actual agreement.
T:Yeah, yeah, because there's more than just one type of an actual agreement, right?
Mac Da Don:I just think my my biggest issue with the pre enough post on conversation is that for some reason it was just conflated with the you don't trust your spouse conversation. Trust in love has nothing to do with just being logistically smart yeah you like.
Mac Da Don:I don't mean to be harm, no harm to suspect, but a lot of dub niggas drive without insurance without license, everything else but, like most smart people, drive with insurance because you just don't know what's gonna happen and the last thing you want to do is you be buying the old sweet lovey. You're somebody slamming to your car at a warm bar because it's a lot of no snow outside, rain drunk high, whatever, and now you got a $12,000 car bill to repair your shit and you can't afford it yeah and it's all because I didn't buy insurance right.
Mac Da Don:So you get married, which is a piece of paper that Nessa says like oh, you know, we're together, blah, blah. You build up all these assets in a marriage. It doesn't work out because the voice is 50% nowadays, that's. That's not a question, that's a fact. And yet for some reason it's conflated with oh, you don't. You don't really love and you're just looking for a way out. Why would you ever want to pre-nump if you don't expect to get divorced?
Mac Da Don:they said where I buy insurance and hope nobody hits my fucking car that's fair to hope that I don't die out of nowhere and leave my family with nothing yeah, say where you buy actual health insurance and you want health insurance from your companies because, you just don't know, with all the diseases that I'll hear nowadays, you know you're not trying to get a little big as good as you can afford. Like. No one questions having health insurance or questions having other insurance a product disease show. But that's a true statement. It was fat. Yes, I love it like.
T:This is a perfect analogy. It's um. You can't paint the picture any clearer than that no. I mean, like your, your, your parents, um, work hard to pay off a home. And then they give you a home and maybe you know, own a few pieces of real estate, right, um, and then you get married and then now she gets you know half of all like the real estate you know you're a little devastated.
T:The marriage only lasts the three years you know. Now you're like what? Like I love love, turd out, and then she still did me. Like that, and same thing for a woman, absolutely a woman can acquire lots of assets and you can't realize getting to a whole situation of sham. Take you for half of everything. You sitting there crying at your sister's house, crying Like girl. I can't, no, I can't believe it. Girl, I've been told you he wasn't worth much. Been told you, yeah, but I'm not telling you not to enjoy your little love fast.
M:No no. I'm just telling you, you know, protect yourself, you got to Because, again, marriage is a flip of a coin. We're not think about that. You take a coin, we love each other and obviously you flip the coin.
Mac Da Don:No, it's not a no it's not a flip of a coin, what the hell. It's a flip of a fucking coin, and you know it. It's a little. If the divorce is 50%, that means that when you get married for the moment you say I do there's a 50% chance you do not make it to the end of your life for that same nigga.
T:That same nigga. There's a 50% chance you do not make it to the end of your life for that same nigga.
Mac Da Don:I don't like it. I don't like it, I don't like it.
T:And then there you go, paying the analogy first, and now you flip that coin you get hits with Chelsea, with the marriage, it's on the first floor. We're hoping that night for you to have the two tails on it.
Mac Da Don:You're also going to have to show If you flip that coin, it's two heads and two tails. Yep, like you, really hope that we that it's always going to be the same result, no matter how I like it. Yep, that's what you hope, but we're just being honest.
T:And that's all. What about?
Mac Da Don:this, just being honest with yourself.
T:Yeah.
Mac Da Don:That can't happen, yeah, and that, like you should. What to protect yourself? I'm not knocking the person who thinks that I lie, I lie, I lie.
T:You're not knocking the person who thinks that they found their forever person.
Mac Da Don:I'm knocking the person who's dumb enough to come into a relationship with everything, to lose enough in the game and not protect yourself.
T:Okay, but I think you can come into a relationship with everything and still have something to gain inside that marriage, right yeah?
Mac Da Don:you can, you can, you can, you can protect yourself. That's true, bro, you can still grow yourself, yeah. But yes, you're speaking like you and again, let's say we can, we can even go. Let's take two steps down. Mm-hmm, you may 80K, she may 60K. Okay, nothing crazy. Yeah, we got a huge disparity in resources. You have both of us sitting here talking about something like oh, I got a house tour. You're like nah, I just I made 20,000 more than her, that 20,000 plus tax. You know, you're probably close to her, yep, right, but still you're making more than her. So if, for some reason, this doesn't pay out, well, you're probably going to lose something, something. Lose something. You're my forever girl.
T:It's your forever girl and your dog that y'all not even talking to. Yeah, because we taking that too. Yep, and she was the one who won the award.
Mac Da Don:You know, Y'all know you had a flower bed that you don't got in custom too, or she know she got her niece and nephew that you love so dearly.
T:I can't believe you know what that is and I didn't know.
Mac Da Don:they shit no more. They gone now. You, you know you was raising kids, yeah.
T:And she they're not in your house. No more, You're going to lose something. You're going to lose something. You're going to lose something.
Mac Da Don:Absolutely Naturally. So I lose more than necessary, mm-hmm. So I lose more than necessary, mm-hmm.
T:Yeah, hold on on to something. Yeah, you have to, but it works in both. You know directions. It works for both parties. A lot of times we just talk about the situation where the man is the breadwinner, or the man has the something to lose, or the man is worth more than the woman and he's the one to be protected. But it's both parties. When you come into a situation and there's lots of situations where the woman comes into the relationship and she has the more than and she gets taken advantage of because she allows the idea of love to just allow her resources to be free for all.
M:And Tee, right there, mm-hmm Love, mm-hmm Love has fucked up more people's lives than anything. Because you let your emotions dictate your logical thought, because you're thinking, oh, she could never hurt me or she would never do this to me, and that that love thing blinds your logic. Because, logically speaking, that same person you love could kill you. Because we've seen it A lot of people oh, I can't believe you killed her. I can't believe you. You're like you love each other.
T:I fucking killed him burrowing in the back yard. What the fuck happened? Nobody can ever believe it. It's unbelievable. God, I have to have a. We can't believe it. We cannot believe it. Yes, absolutely. That's a most unbelievable thing. We cannot. Okay, we cannot believe it. We cannot believe it.
M:Yes, absolutely that's emotional and that's what happened. We get so emotional. Yeah, it's logical, the logic's gone.
T:I think also like just the very idea that you get like level headed and start to talk about your partner long term, about finances, don't you think it will open up a conversation to other serious situations in the relationship?
M:You should. Here's the thing If the pandemic didn't teach anybody anything, you need to plan for life after whatever, because a lot of people never thought about insurance, never thought about death, never thought about that. You know, if you're 27 years old, 30, 40, some years old and relatively healthy before the pandemic, you never thought about your partner dying or what happened if I get incapacitated or something like that. So that was a discussion you never had. Now it's a discussion you probably have to have because you have so many other things after the pandemic. Others should go on on. They had a real conversation because you know the other thing people. You know sickness and health. That COVID, they're fucked up, a lot of people's health and so that test people like whoa these are sick as hell I go for I mean a cold or maybe a flu, but COVID got damn, oh Lord.
Mac Da Don:Same thing. It's just cancer, or?
M:Yes or injury.
Mac Da Don:Yeah, actually, yeah, broken Stroke. I think that just causes a de-abilitating situation, can really kind of throw your relationships sideways and I think a lot of instances people don't know who they are going to be until it happens that's true, you know what I? Mean Like you would hypotherapeutic, you would hypotherapeutic.
T:We all know who the man's going to be. That's why most women, when the, when the girls go down, we like fly into the home to rescue the husband. And so the man or the whoever the living man is, because we don't want you to destroy the situation You're going to Listen, listen, this will break relationships. Yeah, okay, we calling in Molly maids, AKA my sister. We calling in the culinary chef service, aka my mama.
M:Oh, my God.
T:We calling in a few because there's not many men who we expect to be able to take care of long term.
M:That's really you're so true.
T:That's very true. That nurturing side of it. No, that's why women be sending over trays of food I was so happy to eat. He wasn't about to rattle. No, he wasn't about to put that together because that wasn't in him. He was taken care of. And it can break some relationships. Man, we could be done, done. The woman can be. Still laid up in the air, arm still broke, leg back broke, everything broke. We breaking up right here, right now.
T:That's true Give a damn about me. How could he just sit there and just look at me in pain and not even get up to make no damn soup, and that man be sitting over there. He be hungry as they himself. He over there starving. I figured I wouldn't know she going to get up from her broken back and make them.
M:You know what, guys? That's something nurturers listen, will provide, will take care of you, will fix a car, will fix a house with by clothes. We do all that stuff.
T:But you're talking about something that we just got to hand for something can do it Now don't be wrong, and we already know who those men are Was flipping and give a little drop off, some juice or something like that to that family because we got it. You know we'll give him some support. He doesn't need much, though it's not been.
M:No.
Mac Da Don:I think that in the fact that, just when it comes to men, like people don't really try to go out there with the same man. No, like you know, you're not trying to find a way to save a man, you're not going to save another man.
T:Okay, a man to a man, okay.
Mac Da Don:Like you said, if you want to go down, like you got your sister, your mom, your aunt, like they go, come in, right, but like if that guy goes down, it's still going to be his sisters, his aunt, his brother, his uncle, not going to show up on myself, but you did. Yeah, I heard your back. Yeah, yeah, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up You'rearez.
T:What's up? Let me in, although I understand that nothing else doesn't come in, but more.
Mac Da Don:The thing now. Fuck me the same Sam, all right.
T:Yeah, yes, and it comes out. Any shows. The relationships will get challenged.
M:Yes, it will. It definitely will, because, again, it's one thing, your girl, fine and healthy, next to she lay in the bed, she can't move. You know you gotta pick her up move around and Lord, don't let her have some real fucked up disease, that you gotta walk her to the bathroom and help her shower and all that shit. Then you're like, nah, I ain't signed for it In your head, you're gonna do what you're gonna do because it's your girl, because you would think, oh, I should do it for me.
Mac Da Don:Yeah, well, to a point, yeah, but To whatever point that is. Whatever that point.
T:Yeah, because every person has a different level of tolerance there.
M:Yes, and for us as guys for me, when guys get sick, they're like Lord, let me get the fuck up out of here. I can't stay in this bed for so long. I can't, because, again, the longer I stay in, then that means I can become dependent upon her.
M:And I don't want that to happen, because at some point she's like, damn, when is my fuck gonna get well? Or you know, you have heart issues and all these issues. As a guy, I gotta give myself well because she could kick me to the curb quick, fast and hurry, because she can find another dude who's healthy and can do all the shit I'm doing and you don't have to worry about getting out the bed and all that other bullshit.
M:So you can't be an ill man. No, no, no, think about it. It's a society. It can't be sick for long.
Mac Da Don:I think that's crap. I think you can be an ill man. I think you be an ill woman. I just think you. I think the true statement is when you become ill, you also need to accept that you're gonna realize what part of it you truly have. Oh, that is the thing that I think is the conversation. That is kind of hiding under this is that the person you married actually comes out when you're sick, when you have no money, when a challenge is coming.
T:When a challenge is coming, yeah, well, like when your back is up against the wall, when your back is against the wall, you're gonna find out who you actually with and a lot of times people get surprised, but it's like.
Mac Da Don:It's not like, oh, when he changed up, that's who he always was. He was. I'm cool with the, the, the, the, the secondest part, but you're talking about like you gonna be down six, seven months or like you might be stuck with this for us, your life. I mean you talking about some of your back hurt. You don't know if you ever gonna do sex again. You do you right with this shit. You don't gain 15, 25 pounds.
T:You don't gain enough All the challenges.
Mac Da Don:Yep, like, like ladies are more willing to be amenable to some of those changes, but I feel like men are more resistant to that. Like, okay, I can deal with some of these changes, but then they keep stacking up. And now I was like, damn, this is where I, every day, I'm being a sexist, married with a woman who back hurt, who gained 25 pounds, 30 pounds 100 pounds.
T:Nah, that's facts. And you're like come on, just put out a car and we're stacking up. Yeah.
Mac Da Don:And then you, and then, of course, as the ladies I hate to put this on y'all, but when y'all get sick and things like that happen, where, like who you were and who you are two vastly different people you started to mythic about who you used to be, it's us.
M:Yeah.
Mac Da Don:I'm mything the same shit.
M:And this is I can't say it. No, no, yeah, look at you like that, cause I don't want to be like this.
Mac Da Don:I didn't ask for this. I don't want you like that either Jesus Jesus. You're upset, I'm upset, but I can't be upset. This is your life.
T:Yeah, but somehow you, they, they, the man, real, I'll be upset. You're not just mad at you. Yeah, you're just mad at you. Like this isn't even happening to you.
Mac Da Don:That it is yeah. Every time I look at you and my damn. I married her and then we had all these goals. Now you talking about some. We not going to have sex no more. You talking about your back on her always. Now you talking about some, you got it. Now, all of a sudden, your hair start falling out, your color, skin change, some you just go down to the shoe.
T:All those things go down. Yeah, you don't have to have hands up with everybody, never.
Mac Da Don:I can't do it. Most people are going to hit those walls. You just want that your body will fall apart, yeah, but if you do fall apart, you might be surprised to find the person that you picked. Is it for that?
M:No.
T:Or they aren't for that for right now, cause some people need time to grow up and to have gone through some things, like if you was in a household when you had a sick grandmother inside of that home and you understood taking care of people, you understood patients, you understood kind of ignoring people for your own self care while taking care of people. You understood the long haul of it cause you maybe seen it before. Or you were in a home where your mother had a surgery or two or three or four, and so you saw her go down and you saw how your father interacted with her and you saw, you know, you saw these interactions of caregiving Absolutely.
T:That person might be a little more mature in that sense.
M:And that's true Because growing up I had onto where ill or has some sort of ailment, and you, just, it was a different vibe. You go in the house you expect you're going to do something to help her out, like do you need something moved Because she couldn't do it.
T:You took care of her, you knew to take care of her. So when you went, inside that home do double check. There's a trash. Taken out small things and the big things, Cause you knew that that person needed to be taken care of. But if you signed up for a guy who was, you know, he's good looking, he's charming, comes from a great family, well to do, type of guy that he's never seen illness in the home, right.
T:And so this is the first time when he's kind of being hit with this situation, I mean fuck it, he fails, let's be real.
M:He crumbles. He's a statue Because he doesn't know what to do.
T:I mean, sometimes they do more than be a statue. You know, sometimes they are mean back to you, like you feel, like-.
Mac Da Don:Or they are going in there on autopilot and they just kind of do the things, but they're not doing them with real care, With real care exactly, yeah, that's true.
Mac Da Don:You might take your trash out, you might bring your food, but he's not gonna smile at you, he's not gonna entertain the conversation. He might not sit there and say like, oh, I really want to hear about how your day's been. You want to rant about it Because to him it's just bitch. I'm not even really trying to deal with this, I'm just doing it, he's presenting everything he's doing.
Mac Da Don:I'm just doing it because it needs to get done and I know it needs to get done, so I'm gonna do it for you. But I really I can't be bothered for like the emotional side of it and unfortunately, when you do those caregiver things it's a two-sided sword where, guess what, you're getting stabbed by both ends. If you're in a caregiver, you're gonna stab both ends. You're gonna stab because you're gonna have to do so much for them. But then you're gonna also have to take on that emotional burden of when it's the little things that happen that like just cause everything to fall apart. Okay, every day we get you up, every day I help you shower. Today you're tired of me helping you shower, so now you've lost it and you're not your crying, you're used to it. Now you gotta eat that. You gotta eat that emotional burden.
T:I understand why you're upset because this is a lot. So you see why I say he failed the first time. Yeah, he failed the first time, the first time, like if your guy fails the first time at it. That's why.
M:Yeah.
T:Like it's hard and he's never, ever seen it before, whereas women we're kinda called in. You know, your mom had to go take care of a good friend of hers. She dragged her along.
M:Yep, I can't, or your grandma got ill, then you gotta go.
T:Or your grandmother got a sick friend.
M:Like women, always know another woman needs care, no, and then see you do hair, so it's just like she gotta get her hair done, yeah.
T:Come on, t come with me. We're going over there to clean her house and then I'm gonna make her something to eat. Can you go over and do her hair? So we just it's a whole full life service like thing. Yes, that's what we do. But yeah, if you're gonna go wash a woman up and clean up her home and make sure she got some food there, make sure her hair looks like something too. Exactly, women don't play any games, but we're kind of brought up like that so we can recall back from being, you know, young children you know, get the girls is what they call it, yep.
M:Get the girls.
T:You come in in twos, threes and fours, right, so you get the girls together and they come in and they help do the cleaning and mopping the floors and the sweeping and peeling the potato. Whatever you need the girls to do, it's enough of them, right.
M:That's true. And for guys, we're outside cleaning up. Yeah, you know, something needs to be done outside. We're breaking the grass or cutting the grass, whatever. That's what you're saying. They're not gonna get y'all.
T:No, no, no, no no, no, because y'all gonna be too loud. First of all, woman head already hurting the boys, gonna be in there and flipping off the couches and stuff they're not supposed to be doing that, so y'all can come left home yeah. So that wasn't necessarily part of the males. You know grooming as upbringing. So we get it now, it's gonna be hard.
Mac Da Don:Yeah, the males got the other side of that, which is the okay.
T:if somebody needs something booed then that's where you get all the boys. Yeah, if somebody got a boo, somebody got a new piece of furniture, television, something really heavy and they can't move by themselves that's what you're getting called. The boys is coming out there. Why you're a little storage. That's what you get all the boys.
M:Come on, y'all come Yep.
Mac Da Don:Y'all gonna help move all these goddamn matches in here. Yeah yeah, it was different past.
T:So, when your relationship makes you switch those roles that you weren't accustomed to, right, that's the challenges that you're gonna face and how you act in that situation and how forgiving you are to your mate in those situations and to yourself, yeah.
M:Because the thing is, this is something new to you. You're going through a whole lot of shit which and I can't you know, as a guy, we're not gonna put any burden on you because you already going through whatever. But now, as a guy, you gotta say, damn, I gotta at least suck it up, because she's going through a lot of shit. I can't have her. Look at me like you know, you okay, you like yeah, but I'm fine. But damn, I ain't signed for all this.
M:If you're thinking that, but you're like, I'm fine, you know, you're just trying to keep yourself together yeah because you can't go down and she go down and you're both in the bed crying, and so when you go from that point, it's like it's stressful, it's a lot, but that's the conversation you probably need to have. People don't think about it. You will never think about it until it happens.
Mac Da Don:And then you're like, oh shit, I ain't signed for this, but I think the other side of that that you mentioned, that we don't talk about a lot, is that we are the person recovering. I get the mentality of like you want to be kind to the other people. Please do not be kind to other people and ask them stupid ass questions. I got you. Are you upset? Are you bad? I'm just trying to be happy If you really want to make it better. I'm so sorry. I'm such a burden. I'm really not trying to be. You know, if I could do it myself, I would. It's still a shit like that.
Mac Da Don:And like don't say that shit to me, Don't say it to me.
T:It's not for me, it's for me, it's for you, but it's also one of those like yeah, no shit, you're a lot I'm already irritated. We are going to do this, but I feel like, if you don't say it later on, they're going to add a certain type of way that you never mentioned.
Mac Da Don:that that's that's our most. I think that's our most. I think that's how my ladies think about it and I feel like that's not how, like it's a disclaimer. It's a disclaimer At least for me. I will say I will speak for myself, I'm not going to speak for all men. I'll do myself to say I don't want to hear it.
T:Should we just say thank you? Is that enough? That's all I want to say Thank you. I appreciate that. I appreciate that.
Mac Da Don:You might limit the fact that you're in this scenario. But like, don't ask me. Like I'm sorry, I wish I was in so much of a burden, because then I have to sit there and say, no, you're not a burden, but you are a burden.
T:I'm like, yeah, this is a burden. Now I want you to say that this is not a burden. No, because, being honest with you, yes, this is a burden.
Mac Da Don:This is a burden, so this is very much a burden some activity, but I'm doing it because I care about you, and to me the biggest thing is like it's just me, I guess, and I don't know many people who share this mentality but if I do something for you, I did it because I wanted to do it anyway, regardless, of whether or not I'm happy about it, sad about it, whatever. I did it because I wanted to do it.
T:I didn't have to help you out of the bed. No, we ate it. Don't be trying to help me about it.
M:I don't want to get with the attitude.
T:I got you up, didn't I?
Mac Da Don:Yes.
T:Like I'm picking you up, but now I'm sitting up feeling all like crap.
Mac Da Don:And you're like you're going to be upset. I'm not upset at you. I'm not upset at the scenario at hand. This ain't about you, but not that you want to be about you. I'm mad at you because why you keep asking about me.
M:Yeah, and then you can't at me, babe, and you're crying. No, no, I'm not mad at all.
T:I just want to be in this situation either, babe, and you're just like you know what.
M:We're going to work this out together. And as long as you communicate because the communication is the key if you don't talk, then what happens is you start to just it starts to fester.
T:No, let's be real here. Like when you don't talk and communicate, you start talking to other people and communicating with other people.
M:Okay, let's be real, that's what normally happens.
T:Your man out there. Workman's time is the longest workman's compete and ever it's the hell we don't. We don't month eight, thank God I know he won't be broken up for you know your girlfriend back been down for how long You're like listen, that bag, she's driving me crazy. These girls is DMing me, these guys is DMing me. I'm going to start entertaining them. You ain't going to do too much, I'm just talking. That is true.
M:That can happen, that's how it's seen, and that's the message you got to be. You know if you're a woman, you got to be surprised with the kind of women and friend you have too.
T:Cause, then they start what.
M:Talk about hmm, she, you know, she, she down and she.
Mac Da Don:That's the one time when we know about football. They free safety's quarterbacks, they just they. They be ready for the interception. They be ready for the interception. They know football they got past rushes.
T:Because they know all that you doing in darkness Right See you complaining about all that you have to do for old boy right, and she's been peeped him, she been had him on, like Like that's what you got, I guess. I guess, girl, please, you better have your eye on him and on this fact though, cause as soon as you start looking you know as somebody else, she going to try to pull that you know that's the guilt, like, oh, I thought you was going to break up with him anyway.
M:Anyway, I thought you were going to leave his ass wild and go anyway for the accident. Where what, yeah Girl? I'm sorry, my bad.
T:Again, those are the challenges of the relationships, temptations.
M:This is all challenges that people don't think about, because everybody wants to look at the beautiful sunshine, but it's the flip side it's a storm, there's a rain and sometimes it's not you reaching out to someone else.
T:Sometimes it's that person who's at work, who keeps on. You know being extra polite to you when you're feeling all run down and you're the person keep on taking care of somebody, and now this person at work is able to take care of you. You're like how convenient. You know what? Three years later, I finally will go out to lunch with you, cause I'm feeling run down, run down.
M:This situation is not going to change no time soon, and God forbid if your woman has a situation like she's had a stroke or heart attack, something significant that's going to take her a while, she'll never be the same. She could be better, but she's never going to be the same. So now you don't have to accept that. That person who you married, and you look at the picture, and you look at the picture.
T:It's not that person, no more. So now the whole coping situation with that.
M:Hello, and now, what do you do with that? And you can't tell. Listen, babe, listen. You had that stroke for three years and I've been right in your ass and all that stuff Right now. I can't do it. It's too much for me. I got to go.
Mac Da Don:Well, there's actually there's a technical term for it. I don't want to sit here and lie and say what it is, but but you just get tired, like people. It's like a caretaker's fatigue, I think is what it's called, where you just there's a natural fatigue that people hit when you take care of other people, that you hit a wall and you literally cannot do it anymore. And you know, unfortunately, like once you go down, that kind of takes for that person, it could be that you go down for six weeks for a back injury. Then two years later you go down for eight weeks because you know you had some type of surgery, and then, maybe five years down the road, you go down for four weeks because you had, uh, you injured your ankle at work, and then maybe two years down the road and then, like that, like that, like four times, you go down, then they leave you Snatched. I'm done.
T:I'm tired, You're in my ass self. Y'all always saying every time I turn around Damn bitch, you stay sick. You're in your ass, stay sick. Yeah.
Mac Da Don:I've been in four instances over the course of like seven or eight years, but it's too much. It's I gotta worry now. When is the next time you're gonna go down?
M:Not if it's when?
Mac Da Don:Because now it seems like it's a powder. Yep.
T:Now you gotta be careful. Now you gotta be careful. You're in the ill. I'm sorry, to injury prone. Yes, you're so fair, it's not fair.
Mac Da Don:It's really not, but that's kind of what's specific to the thing. No, it's not. That is you married.
M:That's why.
Mac Da Don:Because there are people like me who get married and don't have these conversations. They think it, we don't ever talk about it.
T:So when it?
Mac Da Don:happens he like once is a fucked up accident. Twice is a situation Three times a motherfucking pattern. No, you said not to no you said not to no, it's not when are you gonna get sick? When am I gonna have to take care of you for another long stretch?
T:Cause it could be, kids Cause it could be kids, yep, kids are different.
Mac Da Don:Kids are put you down, kids are put you down.
T:No C-section. No, that's the world recovery.
Mac Da Don:Right, I understand it is very much on the go.
T:I mean he just sounds a regular delivery. It's like a man out.
Mac Da Don:Exactly Something that he's not doing. He's like what the hell is going on? He's just not going with it.
T:He's like hell over three days. He's only gone for three days. Is there what happened, god? What's your next message? You ready to clean out Like ain't nothing? Eat, no, no.
M:I'm gonna finish you.
T:You ain't gonna get no food. What are?
M:you doing, sir? I thought you'd be back quick enough to go get the take care of that Cause you think you're super women, like you can have the baby, you can go and burp, you can do all that stuff, but realistically I'm gonna just call my sister.
T:That's realistically. Yeah, see, you ain't do it, mm-hmm Okay.
M:See, and these are things no one thinks about, and then that puts burden on you. It's not a necessary burden. It's just a burden you never thought about. It's like funeral arrangements. Who the fuck thinks about funeral arrangements? Arrangements?
M:Me too, and you, like you know, I saw someone TV the other day. Did you have you? Did you know? Funeral cost $10,000? No, I said, I'm gonna fuck, I ain't gonna be here anyway to deal with this shit. So I was to deal with that shit. What the fuck? Am I concerned about the motherfucker funeral prayer plans? I ain't gonna be here, I'm gone. They just put me to graff. They can hold a toss man there, but that's not what you can.
Mac Da Don:No, you can't do that. Yeah, I get your daddy to them. Look, you gotta be able to stick to USB inside the coffin, right? So he can watch his favorite episode of MASH on repeat.
T:For the rest, of life, because at that rate, that's what's happening.
Mac Da Don:Yes, Because at that rate, that's obviously what's happening.
T:Yeah, I have.
Mac Da Don:Bluetooth so I can see my daddy as he decompose. I'm checking on him. They're like dad you good, I just want to check out all day in the max, Didn't that job?
T:You can talk directly to your daddy now, yeah.
Mac Da Don:It's fucked up, but that's what they be paying for now. I don't understand why coffers have so many features. I'm gonna talk about this in space. Let's talk about it. Let's talk about it.
T:Five seconds, five seconds. We ain't gotta have a long conversation. I mean, it's a little tangent conversation. Yeah, let's take a little conversation.
Mac Da Don:Like, why do coffers have so many damn features, like you talk about some? Oh well, you know we had this velvet lining right in this, nice and embroidered. You could put your loved one's name on the inside and then we could put a screen inside Because you can't see my dad. What's the difference then, if we doing?
M:all this, then they can't even go put a line. No more miles when they get their ass up and do some nice. Advances are very huge. They've been.
T:I don't know how much they are, how much they're like what? Oh wait, they can go face Crazy.
Mac Da Don:Even depending on just the type of wood you use. Sort of call it yeah, okay.
T:It can change the person Wood variation too, the wood variation.
Mac Da Don:what kind of grain or what kind of cut in terms of the grain do you want? Do you want embroidered? Do you want it? What bezel Do you want? Waterproof? Do you want it? Diamond out, diamond encrusted Like? Why are you spending so much money on a coffee?
T:Did we ever go back to the gray sites? Do we still do that? When was the last time y'all did that?
M:Oh, I'm just lying. I'm just lying. I do want to go. When I was little. You should go and visit.
T:Yeah, I remember, yeah, I remember. You used to ask oh, we're going to go back to the gray sites.
M:And clean it up and put flowers on it. I haven't heard a person going to a site and no, you drop you wherever they put you and that's it, that's where you stay. Nobody go visit you. You say, oh, we're going to go visit with grandma. You go. No, you don't do that, you take a shot. You know, a little shot for grandma Done, you know. Ha ha, ha ha.
T:So grandma you're gone.
M:I love you, grandma, but you're not going to go there and stand by the.
T:No, you just put a little prayer up in the air for them. Yeah, and keep it going.
M:But the thing is, you know funnels are a rip off and you got them Because they play on your emotions. The first thing your grandma died. What kind of cash you put this old rickety, our cash, for the water and come in on your grandma and just decay her. We want this beautiful land, one that you know is covered. It's just waterproof and she'll never had to be touched by anything other than the air that's inside the casting Dad.
T:So no maggots for grandma.
M:There you go, so you can spend a thousand or 10,000.
T:It's like what am I decomposing?
Mac Da Don:You can buy a thousand coffee here. I don't know they got that grandma. I would hate to be your grandma.
M:So you didn't love her, you didn't love your grandma like that you didn't love your grandma, you had the brands on it, okay, and then you spend all that money. And then, to be honest, when you get insurance, the insurance is to cover the people after, not you. It's to cover people after. When you get insurance, it's to cover your family, yeah. Because I have to put it in the ground with you. It's for them. But they get you with the guilt trip. Like you must have a nicking grandma with your grandma.
T:Oh, you just parted that money for the funeral.
M:Yes, they'll try, and the worst thing you can do people. Do not tell those motherfuckers how much the goddamn policy is, because they will try to take every fucking dime in their policy and put it in their ground well, in their pockets, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Mac Da Don:For the variance? Yeah, Because they'll say how much you got A hundred thousand.
M:Listen, I can get you this nice one for $79,999. Mm-mm, and I just gonna cover everything. You'll be able to send emails to your grandma and everything.
T:And you'll be like okay, whose tradition is this? How like? I'm just curious.
Mac Da Don:I'm curious. This is my mom. I'm curious too. I want to know the niggas who bought their grandma them Samsung television and they damn called for it. That's what I want to know. If you pay for a fancy call for your loved one and you happen to listen to this pod, please put in the comment section why you bought a fancy call for your loved one, because I get them entitled if, like you want to preserve the body. But to me, when that person's eyes closed and they the lungs are no longer function on their own, the heart's no longer pumping on its own and the brain function has stopped, that person is no longer the person that I knew. That's just a husk, yep. So if you sitting there saying I'm gonna just let this husk, that 20 bands go with the husk, that's crazy. Yes, I feel like you don't love yourself.
T:You don't love yourself. You don't love yourself, you don't love yourself. Yeah, that's crazy, that's crazy and people and their job.
M:If you're the one with directors are to make sure they put you the most expensive got them thing possible. They're playing on your emotions.
T:Can I just ask you a question, mm-hmm? For the one funeral with a guy who had passed away and he was standing up for his service, did they lay him down in the casket out they?
M:have to.
T:I didn't understand.
M:They couldn't stick him in the grounds like this Right. No, it's too unfair if he's less than six feet tall Over and over Right.
Mac Da Don:If you were going six feet under you're less than six feet tall you would technically take up less space being laid straight down Vertically.
T:Yeah, because that was you yeah.
Mac Da Don:Vertically, you would take up less space, you could dig a smaller hole and then stick him in the ground. Straight down.
M:That means yeah, yeah, now there's some new burial things that's happening now. Like you could put someone as a tree, like you put. Listen to me, my favorite, they take the body and you put it in this shroud and attach it to a tree and the burial. So you actually will, you know, nurture the tree, and the tree is basically you. And that's how you do it. No see, I?
Mac Da Don:See, here's where my mind is fucked up, because I'm cool with that. And so I see a nigga sitting, some more Johnny Son bitch running by and grandma's supposed to up as a tree. He told my son I want to go do kick-tops off that bitch. Now I gotta start. You start on the grandma, no, so and you kick his off the wedding. You get to son, tell him I said I'm gonna hang on the tree house and shit. What's the hell you got there, grandma, let him go, let him go.
T:Somebody on Facebook said no, bury me as a walnut tree, so y'all could spend y'all lifetime eating my nuts and something. That is shit, it's great. And what if it's?
M:just great, I like that. But you know these are things you need to think about Because again, we are all going to die. It's a fact. You can't dance around it. You're gonna be gone. But make sure you're clear with somebody on what to do with you. Free a piece of paper or something, because what you don't want to have happen which gets real ugly especially you. You a god. You see you have multiple kids and then you die. Now you got kids by different people. All the kids have to say because of your kid, and you have no will. Now they're fighting over you. Now they can be fighting over your money. You can be fighting a whole bunch of different things, but then you're gonna cause you because you didn't put something in a piece of paper saying when I die, I want this to happen. You now cause a whole lot of shit going on, Because then you're like that's my daddy, oh that motherfucker wasn't even shooting me.
Mac Da Don:Fuck all that. I'm toxic. I want my kids to fight. I know I just want to come to the trash.
T:There's a part of me that feels like there's a lot of people, a lot of men feel that same way.
M:Yeah, yeah, I want to be.
T:Wow, what was he called?
Mac Da Don:100 Hunger Games type shit.
T:No, the Nollywood joint on Netflix, chief Daddy.
M:Chief Daddy. You seen, chief Daddy?
T:Yeah, all the women showed up to the dinner. Yeah, no, we got to figure out his affairs. We was all his ladies. Yeah, See no.
M:Chief.
T:Daddy just laughing See.
M:He had lots of women. Yeah, this is how you get into fist fights Before you get to church.
T:But I'm dead. See, he was fighting. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he got him on cassette. Hell, y'all fighting if y'all want to.
Mac Da Don:My last act on this earth is to wash you niggas' scrap. I'm going to be up at the best seat in the house. I'm going to watch it all.
M:Best feeling.
Mac Da Don:time Lord I'm going to watch out for them from above. I feel like I saw some of them feel. That's exactly how the niggas feel Like they was chaotic when they was alive.
T:That's when he was living. I don't know how you're going to be. What do you really think you're going to finish?
Mac Da Don:No, there's no logic in that. That's what I can do is give these people a nice bowl. No, fuck all that, mm.
T:Let's go see that out on y'all.
Mac Da Don:I'm gone. I ain't Y'all know this is good. While I last At a blast.
M:Oh see, ok, I'm going to be the logical guy, everybody out there. Here's what I need y'all to do. I need you somehow some way to write a fucking will. We're going to go back on napkin paper, toilet tissue, something, because if you don't, you're going to leave behind some shit that will be taking years to get straight now, because, think about it you die with no will. Now it becomes pulpit. Now you got every.
M:Now, if you're a dude, that was like you said, you got a bunch of kids. You got any motherfucker out there that can come and say that was my daddy, I should get a part of his estate. And now Clamin' you, yeah, and it's climbing your ass now because you know he's my daddy too. And then you got this motherfucker and you know your dad's rolling stones. So you're like, oh fuck, it could be possible Because he wasn't man enough to serve some sort of. If something happens to me, this will happen. So I'm going to deal with this bullshit, because then you can leave the H that I don't want to spend a whole lot of money on this, a whole lot of money on that. And then you know the other thing. It's terrible. We've seen over the years when you be like. Can we get some money to open the grave? Can?
T:we get some money. I'm just going to go there. You saw my black people got to get the money together for the girl you know, I don't know, a short on that money to open that ground up.
M:How much you need? Uh, $555.22?. Damn, you got nothing. No, no, no, I can't. Can you have a little, something, something, and you're using all your money? Hello, click, hello, hello.
T:Do I figure out where my life insurance policy is at?
M:Yes.
T:So, in other words, we need life insurance we need wills. We need pre and post-nuptials. We missing a few forms.
M:Yes, we are. Ladies and gentlemen, I am living fucking reckless hey listen.
Mac Da Don:Yeah, like you say, we're living reckless. Yeah, there's too much, too much in just the context we've had so far. That points to you just don't know right. And why do you feel the desire to be? They'll prepare risk. No reason to just throw up and throw it up in the air in the hope for the best, when you can actually secure it.
Mac Da Don:You can't like oh, I can either learn how to drive or I just get behind the wheel and hope for the best. All right, we're gonna drive is very simple, just takes a little bit of time, right? Yes, but yeah, but one of them, you guarantee that you make it to point a, point B, exactly exactly like I don't know, this somebody, and you know, is killing me while we record this is that like there's gonna be somebody who's gonna see the clip of this video, this pot, and be like, oh my god, like see, that's the problem. Nowadays we don't marry for love like everything's happy. A business decision, it's business.
T:The person that you are Mm-hmm, at some point you gotta sit down and have some real serious logical Conversations. Okay, it's gonna be before the marriage. Mm-hmm, gonna be During the marriage. You're gonna have lots of logical conversations. That's gonna be necessary to have. Absolutely lots of things are gonna come up. Your name gonna go on this, my name not going on this. Are we doing this?
M:So we signing up for this Like join back account and, by the way, people remember this shit if you have a back account, please put somebody else's name on that back account, because you don't. That shit is locked up in probate. People forget that all the time, like, oh, I ain't putting about, she didn't get in my account. Well, if you die, nobody's into your account, because the first thing back on do is say, well, where's? Oh shit, he or she's dead. Oh, what's paperwork? Are you the person who's distributing the will you know?
M:So it's freezing everything it's freezing everything so you can have a hundred thousand dollars in that bank. You're never gonna fucking get it because you never put your name on there, for whatever reason. But you need to put some Either the child's there, somebody who could go on there and take money out, because Funeral's cost money. So by the time you get your policy and go and do all that shit, it's gonna take a while before you get the actual money in hand. So you have to use that cash to do things the funeral, the opening of the ground and all these type of things and these are things people don't think about. It. It's like but then who tells you? Nobody tells you. These are some things and they should, when you get married, listen, have you done this? Have you done this? Have you done this? Because you don't think about it? And then why, by time you guys think about it, your husband is dead or your wife is dead. Now you gotta put your mind your head on like what do I?
M:do that you're fucking shocked that they're gone. The last you can think about where's the will at? Where's the policy thing for that shit? You said they're gone Shit's. Do I have to keep moving? You can't just sit where I'm gonna get myself together.
T:And this woman is found themselves like that. You know they has been shocked that. You know they didn't handle a lot of the finances, they didn't handle a lot of the things that he handled. And now I'm the true and shocking you have to figure out. You know the finances and you know where's this that I don't, I don't know what happens, stuff and people.
M:Buy yourself an organizer, put by organizer, put a, put the Versus, if you get in, put your policies and stuff and put it in one location that everybody knows where's that. So if something does happen, you grab it, because nobody yes, couple, if you have separate bank account.
Mac Da Don:Mm-hmm, I'm the most up to make account. Take some a little bit heady um, but you're gonna have all these things like have a central location for yes, I'm gonna say, hey husband, hey wife. All my major important arguments are in this safe way, yeah yes, in this safe right here.
M:Yes and and put it somewhere that is that gonna get lost, be misplaced. If you got to put it in a safe or or safe deposit box at a bank that you, baby, you know part of some place, you say, oh, I know, is that, cuz that point, something happens. No, this is, this is called living.
T:This is if you buy yourself this is called maturity Right hello so people who don't have it and won't get it together, we get it, cuz you're just not living mature Like that's.
M:that's what it really falls down to it really is and you know it's just. These are the things you do to be a functioning human being, a functioning adult. And so we talk about the love and all that stuff. But this is the other side of that nobody talks about, but it happens all the time it happens.
T:This is definitely how you love on somebody and make sure that they are taken care of. I don't know what I'm gonna be loved on and she not taking care of exactly. That's a crazy concept.
M:Here's another thing make sure you have a medical director, because something happens. You don't mean the hospital like, well, do you want blood? Because, for instance, just say, if you're a joy witness, you don't take blood. They don't use blood for what? I hear these plasma. So if you know that you want to make sure that someone has an information, you get an accident, you're like, well, I'm gonna give her 20 cc. No, no, no.
T:When this you can receive.
M:Don't leave me If you could speak for yourself. Yes, you do so. I don't know what she would want me to do, covid. Walking or driving in any goddamn thing can happen to you, so you won't be prepared for this shit, is it? Is it morbid? No, it's fucking reality, it's a life, it's like dealing with life.
T:And if you want to live your life and la la land or in the fantasy of love forever and things are gonna be beautiful and just butterflies and you know sweet treats, then that's do that by yourself. But I don't see why anybody of any bit of value wouldn't want to come. You know down off that, you know Beautiful cloud, and say let's, let's plan, let's figure out ourselves, so that we're always taken care of, so that we can continue this love fast together and it can truly grow and blossom.
M:Absolutely. And the other thing is, when you have kids, don't leave your kids in that fucking situation because you never had the consciousness when you get, do we want to have consciousness? What our kids about dying? Fuck? No, but it's going to happen.
T:So you want them to know hey, something happens.
M:His information here I need you grab. You know cuz never know. At least somebody else knows, rather than me and mama know about. We only tell him or her oh, you don't need to know all that until something happens to you. Now they're like what the fuck do I do? Yeah, so you gotta inform them. This is a family decision. So when you have kids you gotta make sure that they know what they need to do. So they now just walking around who is? Because they will be. They will be and understand people. As you know, there's motherfuckers in your family. They're waiting for the day some fuck shit happen to you because again they can walk around your house all day. Because your kids are fucked up because you're gone. The dollar person is fucked up as you're gone. Are you walking, Nicknack up here?
T:That's the opportunist in your family. They waiting for anything to pop over, any bit of opportunity come trickling down so that they can have an easy comma and it's. You know, it's up to you on whether or not you're gonna protect. You know the people whose your job is to protect, because the bottom line is, your job isn't to protect everybody and provide for everybody. No, it's just your immediate family. Yes, you're them. Let them know that they are taking care of and and yeah you gotta have those conversations.
M:Uncomfortable but again I really had a uncomfortable conversation. I'm here having it, or be sitting there and this is an agent. Be like Everything. Is he looking around trying to figure out because, again, it's not a book that some I says here's what happens if this happens. It's not a book like that.
Mac Da Don:It should be honestly, you, you should make one. It's similar to Business disaster recovery plan. You just go for your household. It should. This should be. You should, theoretically, if we were just carry this idea have a book that has simple shit. Like you, who's your contact for? Like oil, who's your contact for electricity? Like, who do you pay? Like, is it PP? G's it? Like, oh shit.
Mac Da Don:Yeah, she ought to pay um, they was like, okay, if you were to go to this bank and like you needed to to Get this information out, like, all right, here's the account numbers.
T:Yes.
Mac Da Don:Like that. Well, you can say like, okay, if you need to, just to give some like information, like, oh, I keep all this on my computer, here's my sign in. And like the side is just like here's the sign written down. And, ideally, if you're in a good relationship, those things are never, ever used. It's just a book that sits somewhere, that's just keep updated, collect dust. When it comes down to actually use it, it's okay, I'm we know what to do, everything that, all the numbers we need, we need to reach for shit. Who knows shit is written out.
M:Yep, absolutely, because, again, that is a very emotional time. You're not thinking clearly, you're thinking loss, you're thinking how do my life continue from this day forward? And you know your life will, but that moment everything stops.
T:So think about that, right Excuse me, um, the idea when you're hit with any of these situations, right? Someone dying, someone getting injured, someone trying to part ways with you? Right, we're super emotional in those situations, right? So you can only imagine when it's time to have these conversations. We have to accept that those conversations will also be somewhat emotional.
T:Oh, absolutely right Like it's fair if, when me and you are having a conversation about a prenuptial agreement, right that there's some bit of emotion that's coming out of one or you know, or either party right.
T:Absolutely when it's time to sit down and talk about you know, oh, how we're gonna lay someone to rest, even though you're still living and you know all those things that come with it. It's okay the idea that Someone in that conversation is getting emotional, right? I think the biggest thing there is that you're sparing those major feelings that's going to come up later on down the road.
T:Yes, yes, yes you're okay, your child is uncomfortable because we're talking about laying me down in the grave, right. But they would be extremely uncomfortable if they were all over the place and they didn't know what to do. They didn't know where anything was at, they didn't know where the money was at, right Yep, they would be extremely uncomfortable. So you might as well Be okay with making people just a little bit uncomfortable now to have these Hard conversations, because no one's saying that the conversation is easy.
T:No just because we're in love doesn't mean that it's going to all be just easy. Absolutely just because it's love doesn't mean that this conversation is going to. Let's go down with champagne and roses.
Mac Da Don:Yeah, because you just want to provide your, your Spouse, at the end of the day, with peace of mind, yep, and like I feel like we, as as people, should always want, at least with your spouse, to have they always feel like they can 100% feel comfortable in this relationship and feel comfortable in what we're doing. I mean, at the day, you just do whatever you can, you know, sign the prenup if, as long as it's in your favor, yep, do the research, like no, I feel like for some reason, people think prenups is just like oh so I hand you shit people, you gotta sign it like no Take a lawyer.
Mac Da Don:Put mission. There's a cheating clause in it. Yes, make sure there's. If a deli calls in that shit, make sure there's there's. Oh, uh, we buy property. What is it gonna be?
T:About your own children in these situations, even if you don't have kids in that moment.
Mac Da Don:If I was to have a kid With this individual? Yeah, I wouldn't want to at least assure that.
T:Or no. If I had a kid, how would I want my child to protect?
Mac Da Don:themselves All right.
M:I had a good boy, something Absolutely I want my daughter to protect herself.
T:If my son came to a table and he had a lot to offer and, you know, maybe I gifted him some of that a lot how would I want him to protect, you know, him and his family stuff?
M:We have to be honest.
T:When we're going into these situations, it's not just the person who's asking you to. You know, protect the prenup. You're gonna be in that situation At some point.
M:Yes, you will. At some point you're gonna be in this.
T:Yeah, whether it's you're the mom of the son who's asking the girl to sign the prenup, absolutely, or you're the mom of the Of the boy, right? Yes, vice versa. Um, you don't always sit in the same chair forever, and that's I think that's the most powerful piece about it. Everybody's all offended over the prenup until it's your kid who's out.
Mac Da Don:Until it's their kid. Until their kid and all of a sudden, like is a change of conversation?
T:it's like don't hit boys, don't hit girls.
Mac Da Don:Like you said, like your son says there, you know he making money you want to protect his money. Do you want him to always like be able to have his back? Which is why I say you know DNA tests, protect yourself, I mean.
T:Facts.
Mac Da Don:Yes, fair.
T:Yes, and I think that's why a lot of us do agree that the station mandated, because that's a messy conversation. That's, that's a conversation for ladies no. Me Hurt.
Mac Da Don:Because I feel like a lot of guys don't say it but it's like, as a guy, I it is for me. I understand, I understand the mentality. But, yeah, what I'm saying to you does sound like I don't trust you and I can get where you come from, right, but I feel like the other side of that conversation is never like willing to be accepted of yeah, but you know 100 and I know 0%.
T:No, sometimes it's projecting your shit onto us also, so your dirtbag might have been out playing field.
Mac Da Don:The people who are going to ask for that If there's trash, there's gonna be trash and you do do a trash, you know you're not gonna have that kind of trash and not know you're trash. The guy who's good, who says to you like he's always showed you he was good, he always loved you, he always showed you good shit.
T:You ask him oh my god you know you don't trust me like no, I just want to know for one. I just in fact.
Mac Da Don:That's my child. Why? Because, as guys we see, just like ladies, y'all see all the time. I want to get married because I see my girl. She spent 15, 20 years with this nigga. He never gave her a ring, then when he left she had nothing. I want to get married because I want to scare and and eventually your nigga says, all right, cool. But the more we have the innate test that you want to have both the fucking bears, I ain't shit. Now I called you a cheater and now I want the worst for you. And I am obviously cheating because why would I ask you for?
Mac Da Don:Yeah, how you feel Assuring the fact that if I'm investing this much time into this relationship, I'm gonna be able to have something to show for. That's fair. I know for a fact that that's my son I'm cool. Why to me it feels more guilty. A brilliant.
T:I think it's the culture, maybe.
Mac Da Don:Maybe, I just don't understand, like even myself.
T:I know for a fact that if I would like, tamara, can you please just take a humble DNA test to make sure that my kids is 100 percent my kids, that we might as well break up.
Mac Da Don:If y'all sit here and assume that me asking, as a male, for a DNA test is assuming that you, you ain't trustworthy and that we should break up that if we Dayton and everything's cool, and then also you want to ask a wedding ring and I'm like no, I'm happy with this. Security works both ways. If we want to in the relationship, you should want to secure your partner. Yeah, there's gonna be partners who will, who will know, who would never be secure, regardless of what you do. Yeah, you'll have a partner that you could be home on time. You could be only going to work in home and you game or you work, come home and you take care of that nigga.
Mac Da Don:And he still finds a way to treat you like shit. She still finds a way to bitch about what you do. You still find some ways to bite head. That mother fucking never gonna be happy with what you're doing, period. But the guy who shows up every day. He's always where he asked you to be or always asked. You always ask where he is. He's always telling you the truth. He's always showing up. You never have to worry about anything if he asks you for some peace of mind. Why are we fighting that if you ask me as a woman, you see here you take care of me out, you and we're always happy and we always get along together and then you say for a ring, and I'm like man, I don't know about that Like well, yeah, I wouldn't expect you to want security.
T:Like yeah, we're together.
Mac Da Don:I would expect you to say like a ring or no, because that's a logistical issue that I understand. A lot of niggas don't get it because they don't. They don't want to see the other side of that. A lot of women don't get why men want DNA tests because they don't see the other side. I think that's it right there. I say we need as a collective to work on understanding why that's a case.
Mac Da Don:You wouldn't want to see why you want to get married because you're like man, like she won't take me for half. Such a shit.
T:Yeah, you avoid that by getting a prenup.
Mac Da Don:Yeah, you avoid that by having the conversation of like all right, if we get married, I for my sanity To to go through with that. I would want a prenup because I want to ensure that, like we, we do all this division of shit Before we hate each other. And then I'm cool with doing the marriage thing. And then do you get your ring, you get everything, like that. You would know what front I get the dog.
T:Yeah, he knows.
Mac Da Don:To go through with the wedding like if y'all really want To be married, like compromise. It starts gay goddamn one Like working with saying I might not want that, but if it's going to provide this person who I love A piece of mind, then I can learn to sacrifice what I might not be fully comfortable with To ensure that they're fully comfortable.
T:Yeah, I think that's all in those hard conversations and you see how the woman's gonna immediately get emotional right. Yes but that's not where the conversation is supposed to end, right? That's the beginning of the conversation and we have to be mindful when you're having those hard conversations, the emotions gonna come out.
M:It's just yeah, it's just going to happen and, like I said in a previous podcast, y'all do some of the freakiest shit Known to men. If somebody knew the freakish that y'all did, you hang your head in shame but you had can't have a conversation about. Can I have a DNA test? It's the poo that's my kid, or you want it hits pre enough. Look at it. Have your people. Don't use mine, use yours. Make sure and we come to a great compromise and move.
M:This is done deal we put that shit away and we go ahead and live our lives and do what you need to do.
Mac Da Don:Because we eat ass when we're on the talk about.
T:All the way done.
Mac Da Don:I can't ask him for no DNA test because you know she's gonna get mad. I can't ask him.
M:Come on, gave a judge advice on a who-how and then you talking about I can hear that kind comes. That's, that's too intimate.
T:No, grow Emotions that come from that conversation.
M:But you have to you have to. We are our adults. We're not fucking kids on the playground. We're adults doing adult shit and you play adult games. You got played by adult rules. My fucking didn't you figure out? You I fucked up. You work it out. Well, you don't work it out, but at least it's kind of conversations. Let's lay it on the fucking table. Yeah and and at that point you can grow from there and there's nothing else that can happen to you guys.
T:That's the key. Right, there is the growth that comes after these hard, challenging conversations, right, and yes, I'm beyond this. You don't disappoint it, oh girl. Yeah, she thought the child was in the bubble, right? Yeah, you gotta be okay with the idea that she feels disappointed, guess what. He might feel disappointed too that you reacted so poorly.
M:Exactly, I mean it would talk. And, more important than all of that, the most important person in this entire conversation is the baby we talked about that. Fuck your feelings, fuck his feelings. The baby, because that's the end result of any decisions that you guys make. Nobody, no kid, wants to go up and be 18 years or real, as the guy that he called daddy, his daddy.
Mac Da Don:Or your kid gets sick and then you go to get that, that unnecessary DNA test because some shit, Some shit goes sideways.
T:You know we can't use.
Mac Da Don:We can't use. We can't use your mother's kidney, yeah.
M:I mean your daddy.
Mac Da Don:So Now you have to have a conversation. You gotta go ask for the the fucking birth certificate to go to the private college. Oh, now you finally signed up on that bitch right. What's that? A dark will come to light, regardless of whether or not you wanted to or not. So if you're honest up front, you're gonna see yourself a lot ahead.
Mac Da Don:If you know, and to me as a lady if you know for a fact, that's the only man I ever had sex with I to me as a guy, I'm thinking. Logically speaking, you should be okay.
T:The nerve affair, yeah, but. But that's the different logical Plains that were on. The only thing about that is that's not going to be the only place and Lifetime that we're on. Those different planes Can't overcome it with something as basic as, at the end of the day, are you gonna go get the test or not? It's not hurting you, it's not doing anything and it's giving me the peace of mind that I'm looking for.
M:And now I'm will do anything, everything, because at that point that's my baby, we're unit, we're gonna move forward. Yeah, because again we're gonna have a lot, like I said, a lot of other shit down the road that we had to deal with Healthwise. Other shit is gonna pop up, all types of stuff all kinds of shit.
T:Yeah, we are not going to see it through the same Perspective, and where I'm a disappoint you, you're gonna disappoint me. But we have to figure out how to get it back, how much time I need to kind of get over that, to where we can kind of Reface the conversation again, right?
M:You let it be. Don't keep bringing this. Other things, don't keep bringing shit. When you had a conversation, don't keep going back. Remember ten years ago you said that little boo wasn't your bitch.
Mac Da Don:We sell that shit because I had a question about paternity when you was.
M:Know a guy feel like what the fuck this shit? The book is never closed. That means you always go back and dip back. Remember then? But well, if that's the case, didn't go back, dip back here on you, you wouldn't like that. No, no, absolutely.
T:Then you try to pretend like you don't know what's happening.
M:Because again after question, we saw the problem. I'm good as a guy, I know that's my kid, so we're divorced. I normally come on my pockets paying that child support, that's my kid. But can you imagine you get a divorce and you real say isn't your kid? And now you're like, oh my god, I'm put this kid in school. Hey, what's your face, was it Sorry?
Mac Da Don:The. The same thing that makes men Quote-unquote valuable on the dating market is the same thing that they lose when that's something like that happens. So, financially, be the ability to provide. I'm a spit X, somebody is providing for also the entity that's not mine I'm in and I can't sue you to get that money back.
T:No, because you've been took on that responsibility.
Mac Da Don:Let me do you one better.
T:You know what's worse than seeing a man Um paying to a kid that's not his Grandmother watching her son do it. Yeah, yeah, you're not always gonna sit in the same seat, so while right now, in this lifetime, you over there saying sorry, oops, gotcha, oops, gotcha, until you the grandmother, that's your son who done, got, got, that's cute and it hurts.
M:True, that is, that's karma. It is best cuz commas a bitch. And when she comes back, she's gonna come back with vengeance. So, you right, don't think that, oh, it can't happen, it will. It just come back in a different way.
T:It just don't come back in a different way. We cannot just be like on an anti-male kick and not want to look out for and, you know, have fair life's Privileges for men just because we're women. Yeah, we, we bear both of them. Yes, yes, you do. Yes, we might not grow up to be men but we definitely have, you know, ties to, you know, our man children, like they're always gonna be our kids. And then you have to sit there, you realize, have to sit there and watch somebody break this.
M:Oh, god damn. And all you think is oh, I remember when I back. Oh yeah, and again people got understanding that that's what life is all about. Life, life is a circle if whatever goes around comes around, and that's why you gotta be very careful what you put out there and you just gotta be right. You gotta be, just just be right. Do the right thing. It may, it may hurt you, but just do the right thing.
T:Get your shit in order. Yes, get it in order and keep it in order. Have those super hard conversations that you're so running away from having Because you're gonna hurt somebody's feeling, because the only reason why you can't have a conversation with someone Is because you don't like the reaction that you're gonna get. That woman gonna bust out crying and your face and then you're gonna have to deal with her tears and her snot and all of her guilt. Hmm, after we're done with that, we still gotta figure out the task at hand. I got the tissue for one this year done. We still got figure this here right out. I need you to sign still. I need for you to get the sample.
T:Still like, yeah, it's not, it's not gonna be easy. Like, ladies, you want you like that guy, like that guy, he, you know he don't have regular jobs, he has gigs. You have a lot to come to the table with. Yeah, your father didn't, you know, gave you a house when he passed, and here it to the lot of money. You got nice retirement set up. You're worth a lot. You gotta have the hard conversation with the man to say sir, I like you, I love you, I love you, love you Amazing in bed. I'm trying to keep that forever, however. However, I'm gonna need for you to sign the prenup, because it's a lot of stake here, and If love is what love is really gonna be, then Death will be the only thing to do us apart and these forms will be null and void.
Mac Da Don:But if you're supposed to be together. Yeah, this is just fucking paper Voice case scenario we get the voice. This happened. Yeah, we love each other. That's what this paper doesn't comes. We die needs for that to be made. Just it pretty much. You know it also happens, guys.
Mac Da Don:The longer you're together, when you're a cure with, you acquire more shit. Just go get it fixed. Go sit back down rewriting as a couple. Yeah, so you know what. We've been at it five years now. My business took off. Her shit took off. She's suddenly got famous on on tiktok. Yeah, no, things occur. Go back to the table. Sorry, you know what. It's been a couple years. We're gonna add some more shit to our plate when we have before. Let's go make sure that we all good. Yeah, sure that. Like okay, you started that business. I'm not taking If I wasn't there helping you get that shit. Now I'm trying to get my, my percentage, because that's what we still like each other. The voice is gonna be the nastiest version of your relationship. That's when everything falls apart. That's when y'all fed up with each other. Yeah, what you do then is love is just the other side of hate. So now that we are divorced unless we divorce ever complete I hate you now.
T:At some point. Yeah right, and whether you did that on purpose or not, on purpose, right, intentionally Right, like you didn't mean to sleep with the woman in your bed at home and get caught. You didn't want your wife to have seen that no but it happened. The bitch is scoring yeah.
M:Now you gotta pay the price.
T:Yeah, in the long run that's true. Um, so you? We have to protect ourselves From forcing ourselves to become the worst versions of ourselves.
M:Yeah, that's never good, that's never, and we should be mature enough to say this how is this adults, when our kids, we're doing adult shit? Let's do the adult shit the adult way. Yeah, now I get my little emotion. A little feelings are involved. No, fuck that. You did that when you had the opportunity. When you temptation to not do what you did what you did. Mm-hmm, hope you didn't get caught, but you did so. Now you got deal with the repercussions and ramifications from that decision.
T:So you know that's life, that's life.
M:Damn guys, perfect, and people, as you heard, tea. That's life. So, again, don't look at it. As you know, we're contentious or anything. It's business. You know, just like you do it Like we talked about marriage and In wills and in all the other things. All this is part of life. These are things you have to do as an adult. You have to, not you want to. You have to because you're to deal with the aftermath, you know so, as my girl T says, it's like grow up, do better With that. People Listen, people you don't do Like subscribe to channel, get some of this merch and you know what.
M:Until then, please do your life, do the little things that we talked about. You know. Make sure you you don't get caught off guard Because death happens suddenly. Nobody wants to see. You know we're gonna die tomorrow, so you get your shit straight, get you no. So don't wait. Today should happen. You want to worry about you. Leave everybody else behind a little bit. That shit, not that phone, that's not the name, that name the word. So you know. Just so, until next time, peace and blessings, stay safe out there, oh.