Behind the Masks: Exploring the Layers of Love, Partnership and Parenthood

Are you ready to shatter the misconceptions surrounding relationships and gender roles? This episode is a no-holds-barred exploration into the realities and complexities of love and partnership, where we urge our listeners to resist the impulsive leap into commitments and take the time to truly understand their significant other. We delve into the potential pitfalls of rushing into relationships and navigate the often challenging emotional landscape that relationships bring. 

Switching gears, we address the bread-and-butter topic of single motherhood, shedding light on the feelings of resentment and scorn these brave women often face. We take a deep dive into the impacts on children raised in single-parent homes, and discuss how factors like financial stability and education can influence the success of single mothers. Furthermore, we don't shy away from sensitive subjects like DNA testing and the societal stigma it carries, underscoring the importance of open communication and honesty to prevent future complications.

Finally, we emphasize the significance of integrity and stability in relationships, going beyond superficial attractions like sex and money. This comprehensive discussion aims to empower you with the knowledge and insights needed to build healthier, more fulfilling relationships. So, whether you're single, married, or somewhere in between, this episode will provide you the tools to navigate the tricky landscape of love and relationships. Remember to like, subscribe, and hit the bell to stay updated on future episodes!

Transcript

M: 0:05

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to on the mic with the M and T, listen, we're just gonna keep it real today. We're kind of winging it today, but we're gonna say this I'm gonna start off by saying this Men ain't shit and women ain't shit. I'm gonna say that as a general fucking statement Men ain't shit, women ain't shit. So you can't nobody send me, send me comments over here. I'm a good dude, you know, I try to do what I can do. Or when I say, why are you gonna put me on in that shit? No, because what's happening right now in society as a general is everybody's being thrown in the same fucking pot the good guys, the bad guys, the bad girls, the bad dudes, and everybody's saying everybody's shit, and that's not true.

M: 0:47

So today we're going to talk about that and you have to make some decisions, and what I mean by that is please, don't rush into relationships quickly, get to know the person and, lord, please, don't get a pregnant and please, ladies, don't let him get you pregnant, because that starts off a whole. Another thing that's pretty ugly and pretty nasty situation that we've been seeing all the time, and you are living it. Some of y'all probably gonna look at this as shit. I'm living that shit he talking about. Yes, I'm talking to you. So other people, you ain't quite there yet. You're like you probably sit with a dude watch. You say, hmm, I wonder if he's gonna be that kind of dude gonna be with me. You know the rest of my life Because I love him. He's cute, he smells good, all preliminary shit that should change overnight, so it takes work.

T: 1:31

I'm playing real quick.

M: 1:34

Real, real quick. We're going to talk about how people just have to make much better decisions. Don't, don't be so impulsive, you know, because it saves you some problems on the road. And as I was talking, we saw before the podcast about the cause and effect. We always look at the effect. Bad ass kids, you know bad relationships, you know they hate each other. They take care of responsibilities.

T: 1:59

I'm gonna go myself.

M: 2:01

Yes, I'm gonna go on that shit. But if you step back for one second those of you who have already in the effect stage, you already went there. So you're going through this bullshit, but there's a lot of people who haven't gotten to the effect stage. You're actually in the cause phase. So we're trying to give you some information so you can avoid being in a situation of a lot of people that you see are in the effect stage of their relationships and their lives. So we just want you to really stop thinking, stop being an emotional creature about relationships, and actually think logically about relationships and who you really look at, especially for women. Y'all emotional any goddamn way to. So you know what y'all do. Y'all go for any drive. It looks good. Oh my God, it smells good. I'm gonna have his bathing. That's what y'all do.

T: 2:47

So, women, it seems like you don't have to go there, I'm ready. I think I can't believe you just threw us out there like that. What I'm noticing, though it seems like women are super emotional in the front end and men are super emotional on the back end, meaning, when we first meet, I got all the butterflies in my stomach and I'm like, oh yeah, she smells so good. Oh, my goodness, he's so fine. Ah, you're on my line.

T: 3:18

I can't wait to be called me tonight. Oh yes, tell me good night, tell me good morning, tell me all the sweet nothings in my ear, right, yep, when we break up, women get this ice a lot of times.

M: 3:31

Yes, the emotions get shut down.

T: 3:33

Now we got boundaries, now we don't want you on our line. And now y'all turn super emotional. I can't believe you did this to me. That's how we doing it. You just going to leave like that, yes, and then y'all get all the emotions, get the flaring. Y'all are dead Down on bended knees and whatnot, begging primary crucial friends to come see outside my apartment and whatnot. That emotion thing go both ways.

M: 4:04

Well T, I want to speak for the men, as men we are not trained or taught to handle our emotions. We're actually emotionally immature.

M: 4:15

At no stage in our lives growing up to become where we reach manhood. Do anyone teach us how to handle our emotions? Nine times out of ten to tell you if you're in pain, suck it up, shut the fuck up man up. So you don't really speak. You remain silent when it comes to emotional stuff, so you don't get to learn about it, learn about your emotions or how to handle things emotionally. You find out when you somehow you get a young lady who you like and you know it's gonna be hard. We're trying to show you a little love, but we try to give you our heart and lay out there, send them cute sweatsongs, some shit like that. You know, like girl, I love you, love you baby. No, we ain't doing all that shit. We're gonna try to give you a little bit of this and that, but along the way we actually become infatuated with you guys, we actually get into the thing.

M: 5:03

I like her. You know she's a person. You know she treats me well. You know we don't argue a lot. She's pretty easy going and, surprisingly to us, we're gonna become emotionally attached to you.

M: 5:15

You know we're in so a way we don't even know how. We're so immature, we don't even know where we're connected. We're just like we're walking and walking. And we got connected and we're still walking and walking Like I ain't connected, yet You're connected about five, six months that away. You're still walking and talking.

M: 5:31

And then we get comfortable as men, we don't know, we're emotionally immature, we're comfortable. So then we start doing things. You know, you know she accept this, she accept that. And then y'all kind of give us the boundaries, like, yeah, you can do the oh, you wish the boundary. Yeah, okay, do it, go, go, go so far. But then some of us are so immature that we do some stupid shit and they, oh, she'll accept anything I do. She accepted this. Oh, she got some boundaries, well, she'll get. She'll let me stretch until you get over the boundary. And then she shuts you down. And then she's like I don't want to fucking date you, no more. You don't listen to me. I try to tell you that was a surprise. Like huh, what? You let me do this, this Still don't know. And then you'll say this is it, this is over. And we're like over, it don't really hit us like over, you have to go. We had to walk away from that. She's like oh, I'm not supposed to be about over. You call her.

T: 6:23

Oh, shit, she ain't picking up now.

M: 6:26

I'm a texture. Shit goes on answer.

M: 6:29

You're like what the fuck? You looking at my shit. So now that emotion that you was attacked way back then now kicks in. You like because before being ill, fuck, you're not fucked up. I move on, find some miles, but no, you're now attached. You're now emotionally attached. You're not a hell, that shit. I listen, I listen, dude. I'm gonna say cuz college. I know a dude who was so pissed off of his girl back in the day who broke up with him. That Negro told me, and I quote, i'ma go to her house to flat all her tires. Yeah.

T: 7:05

Yeah, no acting out with that anger man. That anger can become something else. Yeah, those oceans can do something different. I mean, they both can.

M: 7:14

Absolutely. But for us we can't control it. It's new to us. Y'all women, y'all deal with the emotion stuff. You do emotions shit all the time for us that you know emotions that we're not supposed to show. Now we have them. We don't know how to fucking deal with them. So that's why you get the stalker or the guy who's you know Try to kidnap you or do that crazy shit because he don't know how what to do with his emotions. But Y'all do that to us, y'all. Y'all do the things to us make us Connect to you, make you feel good about you that we you know, you'll never leave us, so it's all new to us.

T: 7:49

Yes, we done. Did that to you, told you yes, and then you just did your own thing, you know, and then thought she was supposed to stick around for it and then was up.

M: 8:05

And then what happens is, as guys we don't really I mean emotions. One of these will surround and talk about Emotional shit. Men just don't do that, and it's society, oh, you shouldn't talk about it. But then this is why men die early, men drink a lot, men use drugs. Because men don't deal with their feelings and their emotions. And you have to, because we are human, even though we're men, we're still a human and we have to be able to learn how to deal with emotions. And that's how life's relationships go bad, because we as men can't deal with emotions.

M: 8:38

Women, you're emotional and certain situations you get into you can't really talk about it because as a man, you don't know how to talk about your emotions to another one. You can. You can kind of tell how you, how you feel, without really Telling how you feel. You know, because it's jump it up, it takes, it takes a lot for us to say, okay, we need to get to, we need to become emotionally intelligent, and that takes work and a lot of men Don't know. You know where to start to do that and usually when it kicks in is women, relationships with women, and when we're in a situation that we're battling you, we're trying to understand you because, again, y'all from Venus, we're from Mars.

M: 9:14

It's kind of hard to understand women, y'all. You know, you kind of give us that the I want to say the double-face with the two face, but you give us one emotion. It's really another motion, but we don't really know what that really means. So again, that goes back to communication, communication. Communication has got to be key. So everybody has to be open to communication, because if we don't, then we look at all the bullshit that that happens. If you all, lord, if you fuck around, have a baby now, it gets real, real nasty, real nasty With y'all, deal with y'all.

T: 9:47

Wow with us though, dylan, but I mean huh Cuz by that point. It's like you know acts to be trailed and act. You know acts to be trailed against the woman. That's how a woman is normally feeling. Right equation doesn't work out and we have a baby together and I thought that we were going to be together.

T: 10:11

You know kind of forever type of thing, and For whatever reason, forever didn't work out. Generally the woman doesn't feel like it's hurtful that, you know, forever didn't work out, it's your fault. And so if forever didn't work out for me and now, like we said, you know, perhaps women feels painted after They've given you a child and you're not there forever person, because now I have to go find another man to take care of me, angel child, because whether or not you take care of your kid on the weekends or, you know, during the summers or send over a check or not, there's still going to be in the household ultimately with another man if I marry. So now, you know, perhaps a woman feels tainted. So you can understand a woman feeling scorn because she has a child by a man who's not willing to take care of her whole heartedly.

M: 11:01

And I feel you're there. And here's something else I was thinking recently. I'm gonna throw it out there. I was looking at some some different stories like divorce courts, mother court chose and it just it's just being hit me in top my head. I think maybe wrong problems can put it out there.

M: 11:17

I I think women never, ever, get over the guy that she had a baby by, because every day she looks at this baby who's a product of a relationship that she thought would end in marriage but it ended in disappointment. So it's all my to me is like women take it out not consciously, maybe so consciously, like when you see that kid that looks like that guy who you thought your life was going to be white picket, fence and all that beautiful shit and didn't turn out that way. It's almost like a resentment. I may be wrong, is it a resentment towards the kid? Because now I'm stuck with this motherfucker, I'm really got. He just leave and leave. He leave a left me with a baby and now I gotta ask this goofy motherfucker help take care of something he helped bring here and I got to look at this kid every day and be reminded of the bad decisions that I made to women.

T: 12:15

I think that women and generally, if you are in a situation that you're like struggling and struggling to Maintain financially, struggling to maintain your energy, struggling to maintain a proper relationship, you're gonna start resenting a lot of things.

T: 12:36

But if, perhaps, if you're a woman who is not finding themselves in a struggle financially, emotionally, energetically, in Relationships, you're not going to resent much of anything in your life. So, whether it's a child that you resent and resent resenting, whether it's the family that you was born into that you start to resent, whether it's the Neighborhoods that you are familiar with that you're kind of living in, that you resent people who Kind of have struggles in their life, right and my, and are the ones who feel the resentment, and whether, whatever you decide to resent in that Life because of those struggles, that's that's just you, that's personal. Definitely you can harbor that within your child, but it's not. I don't think it's just specific to children and I do think it, but I do think it is specific to someone struggling. I don't think we talk about or see someone who was in a thriving, happy relationship, who is financially secure, you know, and mentally like stable and happy, who is Resenting any parts of their life, especially like their children. Who is them?

M: 13:50

mm-hmm and see and I asked that question because there's another thing I was read about is the the lack of success of single mothers compared to single fathers. So I will read this quickly. It says children raised by single mothers are more likely to fail.

M: 14:10

Worse for the number of dimensions, including school, social, emotional development their health, success in the labor market, their risk of parental abuse and neglect, particularly by the living boyfriends who are not their biological fathers, more likely to become teen parents, likely not graduate from high school, get more into drugs and alcohol. It's like the risk is greater from them than, let's say, a Single father raising them. So I thought those beard is who's the source on that? This is the Brookings Institute, um. I'm gonna link on yeah, it's Brookings that edu and Look up articles.

T: 14:54

Right, there did. They must have cited at the bottom of that what did they cite?

M: 14:59

Uh, they, it's a pre lengthy. Once I'll, I'll send you so you can take a look at it. But basically they're saying A lot of things is educational, wise, because the mothers are not Not making money to take care of the kids.

T: 15:14

Yes, that's the thing that I was going to speak to. As we speak about facts, facts and statistics and all that good stuff that we're kind of making inferences off of a lot of these things, that seems like I think that where you live at, in your financial makeup, is a bigger determinant of a lot of those factors than no. I wonder. I can't make that thing. I'm just wondering if where you're living at, in your financial situation, is that just as big as a determinant.

T: 15:49

As a person, being a single mother Meaning the single mother who lives in a poverty stricken situation, versus the single mother who's not, who is well educated and who has a good job, who can maintain her children Does the children have the same outcomes when you compare the two?

T: 16:13

Because when we speak about the single mother, we speak about the single mother as if there is not an education difference in mothers, single or not, and there's also going to be a financial difference in the upbringings of these children.

T: 16:31

So we can't just negate those factors when we're talking about raising children in single households, because what we're saying is that 80% of the children being raised in single parent households or with single women are being raised in poverty stricken situations, and this is the outcome. Then let's talk about the entire situation, as opposed to pretending as if just having a woman who probably is raising the kid against her own will by herself is just doing this like this crap, ass, poor job, just because she wanted to. That's true. That's fucking weird at this point in the Instagram, in the pot-fired realm that we're trying to drive home, that 80% of people were raised by single mothers and now the whole population is fucked because of that. Like, the whole population's not screwed, believe it or not. So if 80% of people came out of single parent households or from a single mother, then I mean, what would the population really be looking like? If it's really as bad as the stats are, kind of speaking to them being, I just feel like it deserves a little more investigation.

M: 17:53

Yeah, and that's what I say. I always when I hear someone you're like on IG and on the other podcast, you hear this shit, that shit sound crazy.

T: 18:02

I'm sorry, but they never cite their source.

M: 18:05

No, they don't. That's why I had it pulled up. I said let me send it to you and in fact, people who watch it in the podcast we'll see it too, because I think I put it up on the side so you can take a look at it, because we deal with facts. We don't post it on our heads. We don't go out there just for the clickbait and that bullshit. We want this information to make you better. We want you to make good decisions for your life, so we're not just trying to get you to say, oh, this is a fight. No, we want you to be better and want the kids to be happier.

T: 18:31

Is this not nice on the ears, Like agreeable, Just can't say things that are agreeable when it's not. You know, indeed, representing you know the truth Absolutely.

M: 18:45

Absolutely. And that kind of goes back to where I said cause and effect. Women and men have to talk. Communication is the key to success. They may, down the road, change, but that's only if you stop communicating, because if you're communicating, truly communicating, everyone knows what's on everybody's mind. Because what I've heard on a lot of different things is people saying shit because they think that's what they're thinking but not really asking them. So the actions I think that's what they're doing or what they're thinking, but did you fucking ask them? If you didn't ask them, that's an assumption and we know about assumptions and they can ask you and me. So talk, you know before, get past the cute and the pretty and all that shit and find out what the fuck they're about. Can you just have that communication and know what they're really about? And if women, if you meet a guy, ask that motherfucker what he do for a living. And when you meet him, if he's telling you I'm in between jobs trying to figure that shit out, he 30 some years old, run Woman.

T: 19:53

It's like believing people when they speak and when they show themselves. Exactly, you know who they are. If a man and this is not like to be a gold digger, but the certain type of car that man drives does speak to how he's moving around A man who don't own a car and he live in the suburbs, that sounds a little red flag Because it's like, well, do you have a driver's license? Do you have a job? Like can you get car insurance? Are you like a reckless driver? To where they took away his? Like?

T: 20:30

There are reasons why people you know, adults in the suburbs, don't have a car. And if you don't, you know I'm gonna need you to justify that because if not, it sounds like you are. You have the potential to be a irresponsible man and vice versa. For a woman, you know, you come across especially a single woman who doesn't have certain things by a certain time. You know maybe she's not planning for the future, which does speak to a certain level of irresponsibility. It does speak to a certain level of lack of self care. You know people are telling you exactly who they are and you're refusing to listen and hear exactly what it is that they're saying. A girl who always wants to go out to eat to, you know super expensive restaurants outside of the area that she lives in, like, let's keep you. You know she might not be the one that's super family oriented if her nails are done a certain type of way or, you know, if her edges are laid a certain that she might not be ready to have a family quite yet. You know, hairlines do speak volumes, like baby hair and all. That's very true.

T: 21:49

Yeah, so don't like ignore the signs and the conversations that you're having with people and be upfront, like, straight up. So people, exactly what you're right here looking for, you want to just have a good time with somebody. Then have a good time, you know. But don't tell somebody that you want to have a good time and that good time turns into y'all procreating.

T: 22:12

And now you devastated because the man is like what you, you having to beg, like I thought she was maybe on birth control, because generally people who just out to have a good time have protected, protected themselves and whether the man has protected himself from procreating nine times out of 10. He's looking for the woman to have done that part and that's normally via some type of contraception. Absolutely, but that's the. That is, as I'm coming to understand, the populousness of the woman. It's a popular situation that the men today are having with the women and that they're saying that they're coming into a pool to quote unquote play right, and a pool with women who are claiming that they're coming to play right. That's what we're both communicating. That plan ends up to some serious ish and that means us creating a child Right.

T: 23:12

That's true, that's true, that's true. No plan B, that situation. And the woman is like, ah, clutching her pearls, like how dare you? Well, because you had communicated to that man that you were here just to play and now you've taken something from a playful situation into something that's very serious and that's just now a great area. It is Because, truly, the man could have protected himself if he decided that he wanted to play. So he certainly did get got, but he didn't get got without knowing so now, that's, true.

T: 23:49

Yeah. So now we enter into this great area where it's like he don't really want to take care of the kid but now he's financially, like legally, attached to this child and, as you should, you put shit out into the world. You got to pick your shit up and take care of it. But that's how we get into that great areas, because you know we communicate and it's not the truth.

M: 24:14

Oh my God, that's so damn true. And then I don't give a fuck.

T: 24:18

You're playing, not playing whatever where a condom and not doing that, you need to go in and shut your mouth.

M: 24:25

Listen, I'm telling you. I'm telling you, dumb motherfuckers, listen. You don't wear a condom. You, dumb motherfucker, or pay the consequence. The cause is not wearing a condom. The effect is paying child support for 18 motherfucking years and they never go away.

T: 24:39

It's Russian roulette, oh yeah.

M: 24:43

Okay, you pay. Man, what's your rule? That when you're going in in that barbershop go cut your motherfucking hair? And also the cop coming to listen, I'm looking for your motherfucking hands. Oh shit, child support. You run out the back door. I say she got the back door, drag you inside the fucking courtroom. You can't keep a job. Because that's the other thing about these different states. Now, before people could, just Now, you know I ain't paying child support for fucking to catch me. Well, now the kid catch you. Because every time you go get a job there's a paperwork that they follow the HR that says hmm, let's see if you have any child support out there. So they go and attach your money. So the fun ain't all fun when you run around and your pocket's in the tap every fucking two weeks.

T: 25:20

You know there's a few things in between, you know, the baby and the baby, that's true, the burning and the diseases and all that other shit.

T: 25:30

So and some of them are recurring and some of them don't go away. So that is true, that in the game, if you want to see, or you can just your local CVS or war greens or gas Most gas stations have the protection that is necessary for ladies and gentlemen can buy them. You know ladies are allowed to buy them also. Absolutely you have to have demand by them. But, man, it is that's your job to you know. Protect yourselves. And when you don't protect yourself and you give your liquid gold away for free.

T: 26:07

And then you mad, as she's attached you to herself for 18 years and you feel like, well, I'm a piece of shit as man. You know why would she want to attach herself to me? Well, guess what? She's an even less piece of shit, probably. Then you want, so why attach herself to you?

T: 26:27

Technically, use the come up now, so you don't be dumb, don't know. A lot of times when the man gets emotional, in my opinion he get real stupid, right, real stupid. The girl, that's the peanut, you the child support, and now you just sitting there like, oh my God, I can't believe I got court coming up in two or three months. You'll sit there and you'll be scrolling on your phone reading every article from ESPN. You'll be still gaming your life away. You know you going to work to a muscle you put in it over time. You will not near not a time. Google nothing about no courts in your state that's dealing with anything. This woman has just filed paperwork on you. You will not inform yourself, you will not seek out information, like now, times out of 10, the men are showing up and they're just blind.

M: 27:21

They are, they really are.

T: 27:25

I'm not saying that you should be able to afford legal counsel, because I'm in cannot, and I'm also saying not saying that you need to be able to come to become like super well verse and you know legal jargon and all that other good stuff, like some basic FAQs that are found frequently asked questions that are found on your county's. You know court, you know website that, yeah, you can. You can go to your local county, district or whatever you know the papers are filed and and just read up on some things that are your options and what's available to you before you just show up super blind because a lot of the men are getting taken advantage of because they don't understand that you present the judge whatever you have to present them on that day. On that day you don't come to court and be like, oh well, I know that. Oh well, I forgot that, like what? No, today's the day.

T: 28:34

If you don't have it today in any court in the USA, how do you have to ask for it to be continued? Oh, the judge got to go for what? The information we have here today? That is true.

M: 28:49

They will come and wait for that shit. They're going to wait or what? Go back two more weeks and come back with that information.

T: 28:54

It because you knew you was coming to court. So you didn't, you know, seek out information. You didn't see. How can I get myself, you know, ready for the day, like I'm going to just show up blind. Why would I go into an interview and not, you know, googling how to prepare yourself for an interview? That's what we do nowadays. With a smartphone in our hand, we do stuff blindly Nine times out of ten. Whatever you're thinking about in your head, you can find it on YouTube, so you don't even have to read up on these things. You can literally go on YouTube. Hmm, how do I make a cake? Youtube. Hmm, how do I find my taxes? Youtube. Hmm, how do I file paperwork in the court? Youtube. Hmm, what could possibly happen in the court underneath this situation? Youtube, youtube, and you probably. How to ride a bike is on YouTube.

M: 29:56

Pretty much everything you think about is on.

T: 29:59

YouTube University is pumping and it's YouTube to watch your sports reef reruns. And you know your little comedic relief situations. You're being foolish, yes, you're being taken advantage of Absolutely and tea.

M: 30:18

I'm gonna say something that's gonna just blow this entire goddamn podcast out the water. I'm talking to you, men, directly to you. Get a motherfucking DNA test done. Go and get a fucking test done. Don't surround me or doki-dok in shit and just say I fuck this, I'm gonna be my kid. No motherfucking. She can fuck many people and you be the suck and she grab and put you on Child's boy.

M: 30:46

And if you're dumbass, don't wanna get a DNA test, you'll be stuck for 18 years because if you sit there and think, I'm a thousand cent sure as your baby and y'all have your scene. Mari, you see my for all the 30 fucking years he's on TV. And if he ran a test or statistical, how many don't women came back as the father's that they said the father's, other father's, it's probably 50 50. So again, triple coin, you maybe or may not be Spending the fucking money. Don't buy no video games. Don't do whatever fucking you do. I don't know how much the money, how much it costs. Get you a DNA, goddamn test. If the DNA test says yes, you're the daddy, hello to fatherhood, hand your business. If not, then you take that. When you said you are not the father you do, you the two step in a jump in a flip and run at the motherfucking door. Never touch her and see her again.

T: 31:38

But some men won't see. I think I think to clean that up, I look friendly, as you put it. I Think I think we can sum that up to say have those super hard conversations that are that are gonna hurt someone's feelings, because you'd rather hurt someone's feelings today and be forgiven for you know being wrong later Than to live 18 years trying to fight you know something inside of the court system or you know just having your heart trampled on later on because you were afraid to hurt people's feelings. Because, generally speaking, if you've been with somebody and you not just ask them for a DNA test but you're adamant about receiving this thing because that's basically what we're saying is that it's okay to insist and be adamant about getting a DNA test With your significant other and Understand that perhaps in today's society still Just making such a request can deeply offend a lot of women, especially being in a Sensitive and super emotional space While pregnant.

T: 33:07

Right, you can deeply offend that woman and she might have some Some shit to get over after you know making such a request. But we're saying it's okay to you know it's okay to go there and we just trying to normalize making those requests because why not if it's true. It's true, if you know that's your baby and that's your baby, and if exactly, then let the person who actually should be or let, if you want to be held accountable for another man's child. You know, let us just all be aware that that's what's happening and that's fine. There's lots of Men not lots, but there's plenty of men who have signed up to raise, you know, their wives or their girlfriends child from another man, because of several different reasons, and it's, you know, moving on. That's their family, nothing more than less.

M: 34:03

Absolutely. But anything is, that's because you're off to you. But just one, and more importantly than it, you know, and what I said I said, but what we forget are the kids, mm-hmm, ultimately, those kids grow up and all three those kids, you don't want to lie those kids if, if you're the father, you're the father, if You're going to take that responsibility, because the man who had the baby to walk away, I commend you, commend you to the max. But the kid has to not be surprised when it goes to get something like a driver's license or to get their birth certificate, when they're about to go get something or get their passports and realize that the man that they thought was their father is not really their father, and that opens up a wound, because a lot of people say I don't want to have that conversation. It's a tough conversation. You're going to have to have that conversation, whether it's when they of age, where they can understand what you're talking about, or before, hopefully before they reach the age of 18 and 19. And it finally that hard way, because then it becomes a lot.

M: 35:05

Now the kid thinks you're lying to him, they can't trust you, and then the kid has to go through a lot of things. So just always remember, no matter what the adults go through, ultimately the kids are the ones who suffers the most from lies. So and we see it all the time, we see it every day in our own families we see people who we thought were related to somebody and you're like, oh shit, they're not. And now that kid got to deal with it Because again you go to medical issues. It's deeper than just like, oh, that's not my father. They have some medical issues that they need to deal with. They could have some diseases or blessed issues that they have to find out who the father is. And mothers, I'm going to talk to you again Be honest. If you did sleep with someone, just be honest. Just point everybody. If you slept with the whole football team, bring the entire football team in and let's test them all to make sure who the father is.

T: 35:59

But so that sounds good, but I came up with the idea that some of these situations you cannot test these men. They don't know who they were. They don't know who some of these men, they were in another state. It was just for the night. We don't know all of the circumstances, but somebody he's disguised to be the father. Oh, I know, because you don't have a clue in America, who that kid's father could be. What type of night was she having? What type of night Some of these women be having a night? They just be real. They was having a night and that night got super elated and they don't know who this is. No, that's the promise you would see that we talking about Dowsing and I live with that. And then your kid got to live with your shit too. You can never find that kid's daddy. And oh God, oh, you were so gone that night. You never know what it looked like.

M: 37:17

Oh, god damn team. And you know how sad that is. Because, again, you don't pass that fuck shit, that fuckery onto your kid, your innocent kid, because you would be a whole other night, you would go up there and drop it on a whole lot of people and now I don't know, I forgot. Well, the kid's the product of your fucked up decisions. So at least write down a number, take a picture of something, got a phone, take a picture of his ass so you say, oh, maybe that's the guy I banged.

M: 37:45

Take a picture of all of them, because it's not fair to the kid, because you know what happens, you know what the father is, that the family members are saying damn, because the little ones, you know, because they talk. You don't know who your daddy is the kid, what are you talking about? I heard your mama don't even know who your daddy is. And then you were asked to mama and then she got to be like, oh shit, I don't know it, and that's not fair to the kid, that's not fair to the baby. You can be trifling all you want. Look, fuck, please, please, please, take a picture of something, a DNA script, some skin off of something and put them in a bottle of something, so you can go back to your body and say I got a phone that I need, yeah, and she rolled out.

T: 38:26

I mean, that's all they wanted. So yeah.

M: 38:29

So again, ladies, ladies, just ladies and gentlemen, we are playing in this goddamn world of dating, in this world of relationships. This could get messy. It could get real messy for a lot of people, and if it gets messy for the man, you're going to pay the price for it and for the women you're going to pay a price. But in the end, for what? You have a few moments of fun In some cases I heard a few seconds of fun and then you got a whole lifetime of his babies and all his child support and all his other bullshit that goes along with it, and you're just part of it. What if a woman had another kid? So now you start three babies, three baby daddies. So now the hits start to grow and everybody got a different last name.

M: 39:12

Again, it doesn't bow well to longevity or security within a family Because again all your boys and sisters got different last names same mama, different last names. And it doesn't bow too well for that kid's future, Because as we go back to single mothers and they become not stable, the kids don't become stable. People just got to make better decisions. Again, you just can't rush out there having sex with people. You get to learn who they are and learn, Do it. They just stay cute and they sexy. They smell good. Can you just say hey, can I get to know your background and talk a little bit before you start to have babies or getting relationships with people? Can you do that?

T: 39:56

Yeah, get vulnerable in a space outside of the bedroom.

M: 40:03

Yeah, hello, yes, I mean because, again, if we do that, then it would be a lot better spot than we currently are, and a lot of people just don't want to take that time to rush in anything. Please don't rush in anything, please don't, because Russians just look around you. A lot of people rush into a whole lot of shit, and then you see where they are. They're like come on, I made a bad decision and all they had to do is just stop just a little bit and then just say, hey, I'm gonna take some time to do this.

T: 40:35

I'm gonna say that two years is not a long time, like, yeah, and when I say that because people like to get married after two years, people like to get divorced after two years. Two years is not a long time. So if you're doing something and you're doing it, you know, after like a two-year situation, you might want to really think and reflect, like what you did and didn't do without With within those two years, because two years is it's not very, it's not a very long time.

M: 41:04

No, no. And again, you may want to wait before you have sex again. That don't, don't.

T: 41:14

Challenge. Look at it as a challenge. You know it's easy nowadays to just lay up in the bed, that's the easy part. But can you actually get to know this person and stay engaged and enjoy their company, Like, do you enjoy that person and what they bring to the table outside of the bedroom?

M: 41:40

We don't know what that means now. Rather than the obvious, the tangible, now you're gonna learn about the intangible.

M: 41:47

Because, now you get to know what their makeup is, not just the Trojan horse, but what's inside the Trojan horse. If they have, you know morals and respect and integrity and in character. You'll learn that real quick. You don't give them draws up ladies. You'll learn about that real, real quick, because if you don't have it, you'll be gone real soon and you'll say who? I missed that one because you don't. They caught you. Finally, at the hard way, as a lot of them do, is never good, never good, you know. So what you want you, anything you want to say T.

T: 42:24

No, I always say no, but then have something to say. Ladies, stop getting these men off of their pockets. I'm like, yeah, they can pay some bills. Bitch, you got to ask more questions than that. Stop, man, any man can send over that bull. Any man can send over that little cash. You know what? They pretending like men flying them out of town buying you something.

T: 42:46

Nice, that's cute, but what you want is the man who's willing to be invested in you, and it's more than financially right. It's emotionally, is Spiritually right. Don't forget about that part of the situation. So, when you talk about getting vulnerable and communicating and going deeper, you know, yeah, I need you. Yeah, I need a couple of dollars. Don't get me wrong. I'm not telling women I just to be dating without fun, but what I am saying is to go deeper and don't just let his money be the only thing that speaks for who he is and the type of person that he is. He's not standing next to God and you are standing next to God. Then you might want to find a man who has money and who also stands next to God, because they are out there, but you need to have those conversations in order to see if that's what's happening here girl.

M: 43:33

Again, you wrap that shit up again in a bowl. It's more than just sex, ladies and men.

M: 43:38

It's the integrity more than sex and money more than that integrity Substance, what would take you a long way? That money and sex can only give you just the tip of the iceberg. The rest of that is the most important thing and that's the stability in all relationships. So, t as always, girl, you always do what you do. You know. And with that we're in the fifth particular podcast of episode of on the mic with the M and C. Listen, people know what to do. Hit the like button, subscribe button, hit the little bell so you can go ahead and get the latest greats episode from us. And until then, peoples, he's in, blessings you.