BREAKUPS, BOUNDARIES, AND THE BEAUTY OF PERSONAL GROWTH!

How well do you understand the implications of setting boundaries in relationships? What about the complexity of divorce and settlements, or the often misunderstood topic of prenuptial agreements? Join us as we navigate through these tough topics sparked by the buzz surrounding Steve Harvey's rumored $200 million divorce settlement.

We kick off the conversation by dissecting the Harvey's potential divorce and why Marjorie is allegedly asking for such a hefty settlement. From there, we pivot to a larger discussion on the role of prenups in safeguarding personal freedom. We argue against the notion that they are one-sided and designed to disadvantage less affluent partners. Instead, we advocate for a mutual understanding, where both parties stand to gain. The spotlight then turns to boundaries; their importance in maintaining healthy personal and professional relationships, and what to do when they're overstepped.

As the conversation rolls on, we share insights on how to handle transitions in relationships, how to learn from past breakups, and the significance of self-reflection in personal growth. We underline the need for honesty and respect, and the importance of setting a trend among your group of friends. As we wrap up, we leave you with a thought-provoking perspective on the significance of taking time out for self-improvement after a breakup. Ready to join the conversation? Hit subscribe and let's dive in!

Transcript

M: 0:05

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to on the mic with the M and T, hey, today we just heard some shit before we got on online. That was this conversation that Steve Harvey and his wife are heading for divorce. That's what I saw this morning and here's what I heard, which is really fucked up. I heard per the news that his wife, margie, booked his by the guard Wow, and asking for divorce and asking for $200 million as a settlement.

T: 0:43

Really, you didn't have to put all that out there. You did not have to put all the you know facts is the facts. I don't even know if it's a fact. I did not verify this, I just found this out this morning myself. You know, perhaps there on this fence of a divorce, right when it's time for a break up, because breakups happen all over the place right with all types of terms and conditions that mess you up later on, right, let's say you break up inside your house with your mother right at 17.

T: 1:19

Right, you go storming out of the house but you realize you're losing. Right, what do you realize you lose leaving out a mom and dad talks to early? Right, I ain't got no free rent, no more. I can't just ball. They call with my car breaks, like the very idea that she's asking them for something. You're going to lose something when you break up, right.

M: 1:41

Yes, yes, yes, yeah, yeah. But I mean, but God damn, I mean and I think we talked about a little bit earlier is like what the hell Steve do for this end of this point.

T: 1:55

I'm hoping that he did something, because I just to me, it just got to make sense, it got to what just has to make sense. You know, just rolling out with, you know, the little bodyguard that's on the payroll and asking me for a chicoy when you leave out.

M: 2:17

Oh, it's not going to happen, it's just a sense to me?

M: 2:21

No fucking way. First of all, if I found out, I got paperwork and say wait, you fuck my bodyguard. Oh, wait a minute, that motherfucker. Oh, first of all, he knows, you know that motherfucker, he gone, he. In fact, I only want to talk to him because, again, I'm like you know what this thing worth getting to is with this motherfucker, because he obviously took, he took advantage of the situation, so fucking, I'm getting my picture. The second thing I'm going to do is like, hmm, she fuck my bodyguard. The other question to you who else is she fuck?

T: 2:54

I don't know, I will. You only know of the bodyguard. That is it. That's it. Yes, you know I yes you know, I yeah why why? Just one person.

M: 3:08

Normally is just one person, yeah, and I'm like, wow, after 15 years of going on, 16 years getting married, and how happy you seem to be in the public eye and you're always in Greece and Italy and all do buy it on these places. Top of all, my wife, this, my wife, that. What the fuck? What was you at when all the shit was going on? What happened that she decided to fall off like this is so.

T: 3:36

It's too much of a like a bam situation. Like like you, you expected to see it like kind of breaking down, like less pictures on the social media, like less something. Yes, because again less vacations.

M: 3:52

Yes, less vacations and all that shit. Here's an example this is Muffin, who's married to this actor and this married for a long time. Great couple, look good. And then, along the way she didn't have some. I said, well, I know it's her ring and I didn't see him in certain things, I didn't see him in certain events, and kind of find out, they got divorced. But you saw, you saw seeing less of him or less of them together. And then certainly so you kind of say, oh well, something definitely going on. In this case it was kind of like a shocker, like what the fuck? What happened? Because you didn't see less of Marjorie. You see, you know him not talk about or you know, kind of dissipate this.

T: 4:33

She was part of his branding almost.

M: 4:36

That is also true because he said he always said, oh she went from Margie, I would be where I met, and he kept saying this. So I guess in her mind, well, he had to do something, because I don't see women, I'm not a woman, so I can't speak for y'all. As a woman, what would have to happen for you to do something like that in your, particularly if you're a woman, and what would you have? What would have to happen for you to say I'm gonna walk away with $200 million and fuck with the bodyguard before I leave?

T: 5:08

Are they wanting the same? I don't, I would never mess with the bodyguard. Okay, I would never mess with the bodyguard. This situation, I'm gonna assume that they did something, as opposed to the nothing. And as far as the 200 million is concerned, I'm assume that she's asking for what she helped, assume she helped build, or maybe not assume know she helped you know assistant, because, like I said, I assume she was sort of part of the brand, part of the look that he now is not to say trying to sell, but that you know is so like, you know, very family oriented all the way around, and she's okay to showing up to make sure that you know we receive that and I don't think it was nothing disingenuine about you know who they presented themselves. But marriages is marriage and sometimes shit it's rough. Okay, it's true, it's right, and you don't have situations she comes, she's coming out on a side where you know she's departing and that departure I need, I need some money. I need some money and don't know what he presented himself.

M: 6:55

He went from the long ass goddamn suits he used to wear, you know, back in the early 2000s to more of a business kind of approach. So I understand saying you know, I changed that and I basically changed up to a net worth by me making these changes. I can see that. And so now, if that's the case, you know, I can see her asking for that. Now here's a crazy thing to me Steve Harvey had money before he met her. I understand why the hell he had a prenup and I don't know, if he didn't have pretty much he wouldn't sign the prenup. But I will say this if I'm working, I ain't a lot, I'm gonna look at my camera. I ain't going to goddamn work. You know I work, I have my shit. So if I was not, married.

T: 7:43

Be careful, Be careful, Be careful. That's what I mean.

M: 7:49

You know you're my boy, you know you will want to protect yourself if you're a guy and you come into a relationship knowing that you're a guy who's loaded ie, bill Gates.

M: 8:03

Bill Gates is not just going to marry anybody and I have them sign some prenup because he's worth billions. So he'd be a fool to say I'm gonna marry you for love and hope to God that down the road that you won't leave me or you won't find me unattractive or somehow you won't just want to leave me. So he would. As a businessman, we want to protect himself from any possible things in the road, like a divorce or that kind of stuff, her coming for half his stuff. So you would think I got like that will have or talk to a lawyer beforehand. And here's another question as a woman, would you sign a prenup if a guy offered it or kind of say I want you to sign one if we get married because I'm loaded? You know I'm loaded and you coming in this with not so much you mean I had nowhere near the money I have Would you be open to sign a prenup?

T: 8:57

So my thing about a prenup is is it only encompassing money?

M: 9:06

It covers everything.

T: 9:07

Cover I think I don't. I mean, if the prenup is speaking about money only because you have big money coming into the situation, I think perhaps you got a solid you know argument to say I want to visit some type of you know agreement before we get married, because that's all it basically is saying that hey, we're going to enter into an agreement before you know we get married to kind of outline what we're doing here. But I don't think that you should only outline, you know, like money, and I don't think that I think you can outline more than just the money side of things. So I don't think that it necessarily will work only for the man. But I think that if the woman actively is participating in you know making this prenup sure agreement and making sure it works for the both of them, I'm going to see a problem Okay, but I'm certainly not going to enter into a prenuptial agreement that does not serve me.

T: 10:16

So, let's make that part all the way clear, because that doesn't make any sense.

M: 10:21

Yeah, now I can see that from a guy's point of view. I can see, if I'm about to get married, I'm loaded and you don't have any money. I can see we have the conversation saying, okay, listen, wherever you have for the marriage is yours, wherever I had is mine. Now, during the marriage, when we accumulate things, now that's that's us, that's community property Then I have to split that 5050. That's not a oh well, you know you don't get nothing. No, because we bought it together.

M: 10:49

That may mean I may use my money to buy it, but if I'm a guy, well, yeah, you know, that's only the right thing to do. But also, I will actually put a time limit in it too. I wouldn't just say, you know, just put it in there just arbitrarily. We at least got to be married for like I don't know fucking 10 years before certain things kick in. Because a lot of people do that. They put time limits in like you know, some people can get married and like you know, fuck, I'm gonna get divorced in like six months. And then you're like God damn it, we didn't get shit. Oh, you made a bar to house. You don't buy a house together. We do all this stuff. Did you know what I'm tired? I don't want to be in this, so just sell this house and no, at this point you got to. We all understand marriages is a contract anyway.

T: 11:31

It's a business arrangement, yeah agreement that we're both entering into exactly so.

M: 11:38

you want to be fair. That's my whole thing. You know you don't want to be that dude like you. Know what something happens to your ass, I can't take care of whatever, but it should benefit both. I is reversing, listen. You came in and went just absolutely loaded and I ain't got a goddamn thing. Yeah, I would expect you to have me sound free enough because I ain't got shit and you got the money and you want to and, as a guy like you know what we could. We can make some shit together. So if I sign it and we do shit together, I do expect it doesn't work out there. I do get you know where we worked out. I wouldn't expect it. I won't give some of her money. I wouldn't expect it.

T: 12:18

I wouldn't want it Especially based off of like what you know, like why, why? So in this situation we don't know. And oh no, you said she cheated. That's not the whole reason. I'm just like that's too simple, it's too simple.

T: 12:36

You know, you got to know the why on and base it off of the why. So? Because if you just got bored and tired with me and now you're bored and tiredness wants to take half of you know my everything, no, that doesn't make any sense. You know, and you're free to move on and carry on, and you know, break up and go. You know, try your luck elsewhere, but you don't just get bored and take somebody's. You know half of every.

T: 13:08

You certainly would want to be protected and you know, if you're a mother and you're a woman, you know you want to be protected and certainly you can relate because you're going to have a son who you know you're either going to see him be taken care of or be taken advantage of. So you always got to be careful with side. You know you kind of weighing in on these things because even if you're not sitting in that seat right now, right, you're watching the people that you love sitting in that seat later on. So even if you're a man and you're like, I want to protect all of my everything, right, and I'm not giving her nothing Like, okay, because was your mother giving nothing Like? Is that how you want her to be treated Like? Yeah, oh yeah, you went there didn't you oh?

T: 13:54

Lord, because it's either going to be your mom or it's good. Do you want your father to be taken advantage of and and and smashed? You know to nothing, because you know the woman that he loved or, like you know, changed her mind. Just because you know it's okay. You know, solid, somebody does something. You know, oh, they abandoned me they. You know, cheated they. You know whatever reason that we create a grounds for, you know the glorious we get it. Okay, that's fair. This is how much money. You know I said I would give off and carry on, but not for shits and giggles, not just because you got bored, not just because you're mine, like oh, this wasn't what I thought it was going to be.

M: 14:39

Like, yeah, that's, that's that's, that's no, that's a bad way to go out. I mean, especially since you know in life you're going to change anyway everything, everybody changing every day. So to say that you got bored, how the fuck you get bored and not tell the person you're bored? How do you? How are you married?

T: 14:58

And how do you get bored and not go into saying your damn self what I'm supposed to? Jump around and entertain the spouse, what You're gonna find a hobby?

M: 15:08

Yes, you should have a fucking hobby. That's the only thing people feel to realize. Don't know this situation. That's this situation, and when people get married, even in relationships, you got the hat. You got to be you. I can't tell you how many people I heard over the years talk about you know what? We got to be all one. We're going to be all together, and that's true to a point.

T: 15:29

Right as a.

M: 15:29

As a team, you want to be together, but you should have your own likes and dislikes, your own hobbies, your own shit, your own time away. No, we should be all up on people's ass. If you got, if you go somewhere, every time you turn around your girlfriend is there, your wife is there with your boys, like what the fuck? She don't trust you. Why is she here? Did you tell you it's coming? Yeah, but she wanted to come no, play, yeah, nobody else's house was there.

T: 15:56

It's a little bit and they go both ways.

M: 15:59

Yes, it does.

T: 16:00

It's a time and place for everyone to be. You know where they're supposed to be at Sunday dinners, it's family. That's family. You know Sunday morning brunches at you know fancy restaurants. You know sometimes that's girlfriend outings. Sometimes that's you know husband and husband and wife outing like but to say that you shouldn't have like your own time to yourself and have your own life and your own likes and your own hobbies and your own things that you're into, that's a bizarre concept. It's like what are you going to smother your partner? Like we all need space from anything and everything that we love, down to the children, down to our parents, down to our siblings and down to the people that we share our beds with.

M: 16:48

Yes, you have to. You got to because you need that break, that mental space, to process how many times you want to. Came home I know I've done it Came home and sit in the car for like five minutes. You know you had a rough day. Shit was going crazy at work, you're fighting fucking traffic, hour and a half in traffic and you just said I know when I walk in the house it's going to be a whole bunch of other conversations. I ain't ready for it. So I'm sitting in the car. Maybe there's some music. I may just turn everything off and just sit back and just get my mind right before going and tackle that.

M: 17:21

That's what people need to understand. You got to have some me time. You got to have that and if anybody want to allow you to have some me time, you probably don't want to be with that person because it's just going to get worse. It's not going to get better and that's all that. People. Oh, that's what's right. That's so cute. That's just you didn't cute when they laid down a row, when your ass can't go. No, god damn, when you calling your phone, will you act? What the fuck about? It's got to work. Oh, you didn't call me Fuck Got problems. Happens both ways. Now Happens with women. Oh, women.

T: 17:51

Oh, it absolutely happens with women. You know, we love attention. Yeah so, like check in what you had working, you didn't even call me. Oh yeah, why you didn't call me? Like what?

M: 18:06

Yes, it also used to be like yeah, I didn't know I forgot how you gonna forget me. I didn't mean to get, I forget you, so now you got to deal with that. On another level, it's like all fuck my words being used against me. Fuck, what the hell have I done? Hey, you got to deal with that and a lot of people are Are used to it. I mean again it's.

T: 18:28

Have to deal with it. You choose to deal with it right and you normalize the type of behavior and you know you carry on until you know. Either you can Continue to carry it on or you don't, or you can't.

M: 18:42

Exactly, that is so damn true and that also goes back. We talked about marriage. They also talk about relationships like Families, friends, associates, all that shit.

M: 18:53

There's a time you have to break up with them. There's a time you say you know what I got. This shit Ain't healthy. I get the fuck away from them. Hey, you just got to go away. But a lot of people you know what I know. For 20 years I grew up together with them. Oh, you know, yeah, but I hate doing it. My question is this what is the purpose of them being in your relationship, in your life in any way? I don't know. Fuck, you don't. For 30 years. Oh, they still saying relevant person. They were when you first met them 30 years ago, or those motherfuckers are just somehow you just Having to fucking know when you.

T: 19:24

It's just part of your, your lineage relevant part for me, like are they even still relevant? Um, that sometimes it does fall down to that. Like, friends are friends, right, but some people you do kind of have to let them go and Love them from you know a little bit of afar, and it might not last forever and it just might last forever, but for the time that it needs to go on, for you gotta love some people from afar.

M: 20:01

Oh.

T: 20:02

Family, you know, hello, I mean Right, right, right, you might need just your mental break, your mental peace, because you haven't maybe set up certain boundaries and so now you need to, you know, start setting up those boundaries and Hopefully, when you, if you allow people back into your life and in your space, you make certain that they're able to respect your boundaries without you, you know, being taken All the way outside of who you really are. I get you excited, getting angry, getting sad, getting offended, right, because that's those are the feelings, that's those are some of the reasons. Like you gotta walk away. It's like, yeah, I can't keep doing this, I can't keep doing like this.

M: 20:53

So true, and some people you just like. Every time you see him it's like your hair stands up on your head that those bumps like you just like oh fuck, you still here. Oh man, I got you. And you really don't. You just have to. You know, had that conversation or don't have that conversation a man in a house with a miserable woman every time.

T: 21:16

Misery, misery, a miserable man. Can you imagine being a tripery woman in a house with a man who's miserable every day like a life sucker? Life's like it hurts both ways, like you're looking at life out of each other, like you know what? Now that's.

M: 21:38

That is fine.

T: 21:42

That's a lot from afar, Because you can't really change. You know the way that you feel about certain people. No you know what? Flag on the play, right on the play yeah, real far away real far away.

M: 21:58

And it's true, it and I. You hear people Go through this all the time like I don't really deal, I really don't like them. But you know, mama say I should deal with my mama said this or mama said that, and I always listen to him and I say myself Listen, you're a grown-ass person now. You're grown. If you're a kid, you had no choice in your mama. Take your mom and dad, take your ass wherever you had to go, where you gonna go, and you're gonna fucking shut the fuck up. You gonna have a good time. You're gonna drink the drink, gonna eat the food and then go as long as we're there.

M: 22:29

Now, after you come back home, okay, you ain't got talk to him, but when you become an adult, you do choose who the fuck you want to deal with it, who you want to mess with it. So, mama, still mess with this person you didn't like when you're a little and then you're a grown-ass person. Well, I'm one such other. Have a good time, mama. Have a good time, dad. You ain't coming. Fuck, I ain't coming. I think because I don't like them. Oh, you stop acting like that. No, I don't like them.

T: 22:53

Don't don't like them and ain't gonna start liking them now.

M: 22:59

No, so we're not even gonna go there. And so now you gotta deal with that angst. I don't want to deal with that shit. I don't want to deal with you. It's just like with you know, like people at work. You deal with them because they work with you by try, be your friend at work. I don't know you. I want to head around, sit around and shoot the breeze with you and shit.

M: 23:15

I'm there for a purpose, I'm gonna deal with you, I'm gonna talk to you and then, outside of that, I don't want to be on your world. I want no, I want you being my word. I want to be in your world because that's how shit happens. So I want none of shit that to go on, and I think people, people don't have enough guts I'm gonna use that term to make that decision, like I, I'm not messed with that person and staying firm rather than being persuaded to oh, maybe they're better, but you know the motherfuckers ain't better, you know they got even worse. So you need to. I fuck with them, fuckin with. I want to talk to him. I want to deal with him. I mean.

T: 23:54

Co-workers. Co-workers, you got to learn to deal with them differently. Right, then, like friends and family who you Purposely show up for, and allow them to show up for you. Right, workers, you know they're. They're in the place where you would get paid at. You know you voluntarily show up there. They voluntarily show up there, you know. Hopefully it's for the same purpose. So now you got to figure out how to move. You know around them differently, because we're gonna soon that they're gonna continue acting the same way. You can't change them.

T: 24:31

You're gonna change yourself there.

M: 24:33

Absolutely.

T: 24:34

Absolutely.

M: 24:35

So and that's what a lot of people you know, I think it starts at home. Then it just manifests itself into work, work in different things, it's like you don't know how to say no or they're on.

M: 24:47

Yes, boundaries People yeah, t, that's right there. Boundaries. People don't respect boundaries. They don't set boundaries. You got it's like sit. It's like your house. You have a fence around your house. So that's telling people this is my house, so don't come and play in my yard, don't come in and fuck around in my house, because you're gonna get in trouble. We'll have some shit. So you need to do that same thing in your life and that means you got to sit back and evaluate your life and set boundaries. And I think a lot of people don't Set them or don't even know how to set them, because they try to be appeasing everybody. But then you have your boundaries, then what?

T: 25:27

yeah, but more than setting, you know Understanding how to set boundaries right. You know people have to respect because the boundaries are invisible, Right, and so the boundaries that you're trying to create you have to carry yourself in a certain type of way where people will respect your boundaries.

M: 25:45

Absolutely absolutely.

T: 25:48

Can't be the super nice person and want you know People to stop. You know doing a certain thing and you're you're being super nice and allowing it. You have to open up your mouth and project and say no. You have to say stop. You have to say we're not doing that. I'm not doing that. You can't be the super nice person song about I'm trying to set this certain boundary because you're not actually doing it.

M: 26:13

You gotta be intentional.

M: 26:16

You have to be, you got to be and you have to. And you can't be wishy-washy because a lot of people you know, you know some people you see in one day to happy next day, they say what the fuck? Yes, oh them. Yeah, you gotta be consistent on what you do. Yeah, of course we all got bad days, we all had great days. But I that shouldn't, that shouldn't temper high treat you, you know, because I'm having a bad day, I don't mean, I treat you like shit. Yeah, you know people like I know this motherfucker having a bad day because this motherfucker walked in the room. They said nothing to nobody. Now, hello, Goodbye.

T: 26:46

Yeah, but even on your most wishy-washy days, I've already set a boundary with you to where you know don't bring your shit in my direction. Yeah, because that boundary is set. However your feeling, that's your personal situation, don't, don't, don't try to affect me with your shit, because I've already set that boundary. That, no, I would not allow it.

M: 27:07

Right, that's perfect. Absolutely right, and that's what a lot of people don't you feel uncomfortable doing. But you have to because again, if not, people will fucking you use you up and spit you out and you would like I got nothing left or you gave them everything.

T: 27:21

Yeah, I had a conversation, I don't know how not to exactly.

M: 27:25

I had a conversation with someone recently like I just don't know how to say no. I see better fucking learning how to say you know, because if not, they're gonna keep taking, and taking and taking and it's gonna be nothing left and you gonna look at you and say, wow, how do you get so worn down and washed out? Well, motherfucking, you don't want to have something to do with it, because I allows you to wash me out, allows you to take everything from me. So you got to start setting boundaries. And the fucking person well, I never said boundaries before. So when you start sitting in the motherfuckers because if not you are not going to be around long, because it's, it's taxing it takes a lot out of you by not having boundaries, because everybody expects you to not have boundaries. Everybody's just walking your house and walking your refrigerator and take your shit and I'll be back.

T: 28:06

It takes more out of you to not have the boundaries than it does to put proper boundaries in place. And even though we say it so easily, it's not an easy thing to do. No, it's really not. It's not the easiest thing to do and you might lose some people along the way because some people are not going to like, you know, the new nose. Because they liked you, because you know you gave them the yeses and that's, that's fine you know it was nice to have known those people and you know, carry on exactly Exactly.

M: 28:43

And it's strange you brought that up because I also saw another story about a woman and well, guys married and his mama jumped in the front seat and she was like why your mama in front seat? And the mama said I'm his, I'm his mama, he's always gonna love his mama more he loves his wife. And she was like come on now. And he's like he was like caught between well, you know, here's my mama. And I was just like, okay, you have no balls. I'm just gonna say you have no balls because, first of all, your mama is your mama, but you decide to get married. So if you read the Bible, it tells you you have to forsake the childish ways because you're now a husband.

T: 29:31

You have a family.

M: 29:32

Yeah, so for your mama to just start. Oh, I'm gonna sit in the front seat.

T: 29:38

She was out of order. That's number one. She was out of order. That's the first thing you know. The fact that you made the action and then to say it out loud, like and then, because he loves me more, I'm his mama, like huh, yes, so the wife looking like crazy like I'm his mama.

M: 30:03

So she's like I know I do things that your mama don't do for you.

T: 30:06

Absolutely, and then you just gonna allow this. That's the other part. Are you going to allow this? Are you gonna set the boundary with your mother right here and right now, because she has positioned you to set this boundary like this? I would never position you to set the boundaries like this.

M: 30:26

Absolutely, absolutely.

T: 30:29

You have to be careful of the people who put you in certain positions, right Like my mother would never, you know. It just doesn't make sense. I would never. It doesn't make sense. No, you want your children to be in thriving relationships and you certainly don't want to be. You know any of the reasons why the relationship you know comes to a speed bump or you know has an issue or problem. You certainly don't want to be that issue or problem in your kids Relationship. That's ridiculous.

M: 31:09

Yes, and it's so crazy because and I just kept waiting for this guy to say something he literally was stuck. No, he's like well, baby, he's getting it back. You know we've talked about this later on. She's not talking about this now. She has. This happens all the time. Yeah, he's not that good. One time and she said what are you gonna tell? What are we doing here?

T: 31:28

Yeah, and we're not in here because at this point I have to set my own damn boundary by walking away from you.

M: 31:37

I'm done, absolutely.

T: 31:40

I'm not gonna play no games with your mama.

M: 31:46

No no.

T: 31:47

I'm good on that. I'm all the way good on that. Disrespect from another woman, layton, disrespect from your mother. And you're gonna normalize the behavior. And you're gonna normalize the behavior with who? Not with me, no.

M: 32:04

Exactly I just it just blew my mind. I'm like what the what the fuck? And I also thought like, is that a burden that mothers put on their sons?

T: 32:14

that that? Did you not see his face? He was burdened by the choice, the fact that he was positioned in that. When somebody burdens you in life like that, with a choice like that, you technically can't trust that person. That's not trustworthy. Oh, how could that possibly? But first of all, she knows her place in life. She knows the proper order. You sit in the front seat of your own man's car. Where is your husband at? Oh hello, where's dad? How about that?

M: 32:46

Exactly Where's the.

T: 32:48

That's the front seat that you sit in. Okay, and if you want my girl to be in the back seat, she'll be in the back seat of your damn car, like I did backseat of my car, and I'll be in the back seat with her, like cuz. That must mean that you know his car broke down on the side of the road or something.

M: 33:07

Exactly.

T: 33:08

Like the while else is we in the back seat of your car, mom. Like come on and see in my car because your man is missing and you acting up your ass is out of order. That's normally what you're gonna get when there's something missing from the puzzle that that that situation was out of order for a reason.

M: 33:27

Now you know you just damn, when these mamas see this podcast they're gonna be fucking pissed off like I dare talk about. That's my boy. I had that boy and what do you mean? I can't be in the front seat with him, you know, I mean no.

T: 33:42

No, you know you can be pissed off, that's fine. I can't retract it like cuz, that would be dumb. No, I said what it said because that's that's what makes sense. You know, a mother of sons who wants their sons in a relationship that is thriving would never interject themselves in that relationship to make him choose and choose so blatantly and so rudely in front of the next girl, his girl that he's loving on. No, ma'am, I'm in the back seat.

M: 34:19

Yes and like.

T: 34:20

I said there's something missing from her puzzle. It's normally the man Cuz that's always like. Since when is my mother like? I've never been in the car with my husband and his mom. I don't really do that? When did we do that? So we had to choose, like what See record the situation like that. I To me is puzzling to me too, because that goes bad and I have to say Larry, by the way, that's why, that's why she, she drives with her husband see, see again.

M: 35:02

So these guys men, do not feel obligated. When you get married and that's up to your mama you're there to help and support. Not saying this Carter, not saying get rid of her.

M: 35:17

You're her son. You're gonna be there for you're gonna take care of her, but also you are now a grown man who's living their own life. So now you have to make grown man decisions, and that grown man decision is, if anything's going, your mom will put you in a situation, make you a choose between you and her and your wife. Mm-hmm, you probably sit back and say, hey, you got put that boundary up with a hey, mama, listen, I love you, love you unconditionally, but that's my wife, you're gonna respect her. It's like she gonna respect you.

T: 35:45

And if proper respect existed in that relationship. That's an older woman, right? Yes, yes, older woman, right. Naturally, you would have said oh no, no, mrs Such-and-such, you sit in the front seat, please. You know, I got these young ladies. I'm sitting in the back, I'm good, I Wouldn't, you wouldn't have a problem with it, naturally, absolutely. What did you just say to me? Nah, get your ass in the back. Cross-nature to the back, yeah.

T: 36:16

Yeah no, no, no, we can stand sack, but snatch it by today, car, come on, get out of my way because you getting disrespectful and I don't like disrespect. You might have to catch a Uber wherever you going at this point. Oh yeah, you're not. No, it was too much like it's the disrespect I can't like from the people who's supposed to love on you post a support. You know your union, something that's supposed to be thriving, something that's supposed to protect you and your children. I mean, you cannot like respect anyone who's trying to pour poison into your union. That is that.

M: 36:57

And oh, oh, hey, you're right, you're absolutely right.

T: 37:07

I'm sorry, mom's Dead. Somebody might feel a little offended about that too. But if you're not acting in a way or manner, so where? Um, you know either you're silent or you know you're literally pouring poison on someone's union and why that union exists for us to live and thrive, financially, spiritually, protect our children, protect our home, protect our mental space. Every ounce of Everything about you now, right, it's supposed to be protected by that. And in someone's there who's supposed to be a?

T: 37:48

loved one on top of that, pouring poison into your pot. What do you think that poison gonna go?

M: 37:56

Everywhere.

T: 37:58

Everywhere cuz you pouring it into our union.

M: 38:03

Yep, and then your animosity is everything.

T: 38:13

Yes. Sketch of son looking crazy. I don't know who to choose. You're not supposed to have to choose my love. You're not supposed to have to choose. I would not make you choose my dear. Why is she making you choose?

M: 38:32

Oh, you can have us both, oh my god you just said you have said something that so many people are scared to say or don't want to say. But you can have it all you don't have. You can spread yourself to everybody, but you can't say I'm exclusively this person, exclusively this person. He's my mom. I mean, he understands, he knows you, he know he your mom. Yeah, that's not something he got me confused about. He know your mama, but as his mama's, you understand. You raised him to be a grown man. We would take care of another woman.

M: 39:12

And they take care of his family and make sure that he's doing the right thing. So that means you're gonna have to take us a back step, it's natural. Yeah, not order. You have to because he has to go out there and find and find his happiness, and you should be happy that he's finding his happiness. Mm-hmm, she's remade what. I ain't like her anywhere. I, she, she was this, she was that, first of all, mama. They were really like any fucking body you bring anyway as a guy, they nobody's never gonna be good enough for you. Nobody's ever gonna treat my baby like I treat and now they shouldn't I mean, goddamn it their woman. They shouldn't treat you did. They should enhance his life. They shouldn't as a, as a mama of a bit mama's boy.

T: 39:53

No, she should be able to make him grow and become, yeah, lots of it to be in the man he's supposed to be yeah, and so a man who's going to be able to Create a family that when it's time to take care of his mama, right.

M: 40:09

That family.

T: 40:10

That said, family is now able to welcome her, perhaps, into their home to take care of her in her elder years. Yeah, other part of you know how you create and treat people, um, those same people that you know you working on and pouring into right. That, that household that you pouring into whatever it is, whether it be poisons or blessings, that that's the same household that's going to turn around and have to support you.

M: 40:40

See, why don't you understand it.

T: 40:42

I'm like, what are you doing? I would be nice to every female my son encounters Because, I don't know, this young lady may have to be that young lady who has me at her mercy, who is there to take care of me, if she, you know, feel so moved to do so, because my son, he's a boy, he's a son, you know, and I don't. You just don't know how attentive you know your son really is or is going to be to her, to his, you know, elder mother, exactly.

M: 41:20

Concerned things he's just not gonna feel comfortable doing so. He's gonna have to have a female touch to deal with that. So it you you wouldn't want to piss off the woman that could literally wipe your ass down the road.

T: 41:33

Yep, who could literally?

M: 41:35

have to wipe your ass. So so, mama's, be very careful if you're, if your, your son gets married and you don't like the wife but she has done nothing to you, so like whatever, as long as he's happy and they're growing, and if those kids are growing, you should be very happy. Because, again, if you, if I had a watch on, I look about watching because time is ticking and shit happens every goddamn day and you piss off that young lady or that woman and piss off she won't fucking deal with you. If something happens to you, you're gonna wish the guy that you have been nice to her, because if not.

T: 42:11

I don't care if their relationship is not doing what it's supposed to be doing, I don't care if he not. You know, whatever y'all doing, whatever y'all doing, but the mothers should not be disrespecting. You know the that that that that lady he's bought in his life, for whatever reason. Like we can address situations without bringing disrespect to the table, right? Oh, you know, I heard you did this to my son. Oh, I heard you know you and my son had an issue with this. You can certainly. If your son reaches out, hey, ma, can you talk to her about this? You know cause this happened. You know, as a mother, you gonna feel a little offended, like oh what?

T: 42:50

you say she done to my house. I know she did not right Like you would you. You loyal children, but loyalty doesn't mean disrespect right, no, no it doesn't.

M: 43:03

It really doesn't. And I think a lot of people don't know cause emotions get involved, cause it's your baby. As a mother, that's still your baby. You know I had. I mean, you you're gonna treat my baby like no shit. But you gotta understand that there's young people just just trying to walk through this thing called life, this journey called marriage, this journey called parenthood and all that stuff. So you have to yeah, you listen as a mama, but you also gotta put your head on as a mature adult and say, hey, I've seen this before and give her ideas and solutions to your problem. So you're more of a guidance, more than the person that's gonna try to take them into where you think you should go, cause that's not your job. It's make sure that you're there to help you know wherever possible. And the other thing is I'm gonna say it's to guys Don't go to your fucking mama every time it's a problem, if it's a problem.

T: 43:56

It's a little weird.

M: 43:57

Yeah, don't go to your mama for your fucking problem. You know, start talk to your, your significant other, and talk that shit out, but don't go to your mama as talking, and she doing this, she doing that, no, no, no, no Cause then when that happens, then you'll put your mom into your fucking business and then you can't, you can't keep putting her in kicking out.

T: 44:16

You can't take her out of the business. You, that's. That's. The bottom line is that you can't take her out once you put her all the way in, especially when you put her in a certain type of way. But the other side to that is, you know, be mindful that we have to give people the benefit of the doubt, like I'm not getting 100% the whole story. So if my son or daughter comes to me, you know, and they're angry and they all, you know, wrapped up to tell me you know what happened, you know nobody's revved up to say you know I hurt myself. Hey, mama, you know I did this to me. You know I'm gonna tell what somebody else did to me, right?

M: 44:55

Absolutely.

T: 44:56

He hurt me right.

T: 44:58

He did this to me. He did that to me. I'm not gonna come inside the house and say he did that to me because you know I did this and this and this and this to him, and then this will happen. And then you know, nah, how dare he do this to me because of you know, not even because of this. But he did this and then he did this and then he did some more of this, right, yep, yeah, and she gonna be like whoa, you got some more baby. And then just think about a man, right, like my. You know, she ain't even cooked me dinner, she didn't do this, she didn't do that, she ain't even did the laundry and the whole month, lada, dada, he ain't even mentioned that. You know, he ain't been to work in a month. He ain't even sitting on his ass.

M: 45:44

Yeah, Ain't no grocery house.

T: 45:47

She ain't had no money to go to the laundry, like, yeah, nobody's gonna tell the whole entire story. So when you're listening to the story, you just gotta be there to be the listener. You can't judge it as the gospel truth. Right, they're not to say they're lying. Not to say that we're lying, cause it's not a day thing, it's an ass thing. Right, it's all of us Not to say we're lying. But when I go in, especially the first time around, right, anytime you tell the story the first time. Right, not to say it's the furthest thing from the truth, but you don't have to lie down, that's the truth. The one thing that we can all be assured to is the first time you go to tell that story. You might tell all truths in the story, but your ass left a lot of stuff out. Okay, yeah, you did it too, malcolm.

M: 46:40

Yes, you did it too. You did it too. You did it because, again, you want somebody on your side. It's not a, really you know, we don't want somebody who's a negotiator. You want somebody to tell you your argument is correct. It's you you're suffering.

T: 46:54

Yes, my suffering. How dare they? Yes, no, don't do that to you. Yeah, yeah. And then you come back and be like ah, but you know, I did do this. You know You're like what? How did you leave that part out, though? I mean, I wasn't thinking about that part, Like, how was you not thinking about the part that started the whole damn thing, son? How?

M: 47:20

How that is so true. That is true as hell. And then you know you start something and now you open up the box. You open the Pandora's box because by doing that, now you open up to her, asking your mama asked you all kinds of shit Is it better, is she cooking this? And now she don't have attitude towards her because what you said, she don't look at it. That baby motherfucker bitch, she ain't cooking it for my baby. How is he working out there? And shit, because because he done, we done, went out there and told mama all this shit and it made him look like the savior and look like she's a fucking demon seed.

M: 47:56

And now you walk away and don't realize you opened up the box and now you can't close the box the top is gone, Cause you and mama can't wait for that type to disappear. So she can just also put her two cents in every fucking day that's going on, everything that's moving and grooving. From now on, and she'll talk about your fucking house and look at your house and look how dirty this house is.

T: 48:19

Yeah.

M: 48:19

It was never just dirty when you, when you live, you know, at the house.

T: 48:22

The thing on the floor now. Now, I don't see the dirty, like, come on, but not if you mess with a real one. Now, right, it was with real, real, real parents, real back, you know, cause the truth of the matter is that they exist, right, and there are going to be parents who's going to look at their children and, you know, like Tamara, really, really.

T: 48:48

Well, he did that and you did what? Nothing? Oh, okay, no, okay, not true. Wait, whenever you're ready, you know, whenever you're ready, you know, whenever you're ready to have that conversation. You know I'm here. I'm here the real conversation.

T: 49:00

you know there's going to be real people who can have real conversations, Whether the conversations be, you know, I'm just sitting here in silence and I'm gonna give you a week or two to tell me you know, the circle back around had the real conversation later on, you know or I'm gonna just take what you gave me and I'm gonna just move accordingly, that I give you the help that you need, but understand that you didn't give me the whole truth, so I'm not going to then judge your counterpart Based off of anything you said. I'ma just have been the air that you needed, Cause you were basically Vincent, Cause that's basically what's happening, right, you go to your lover once. You go to your sister. You go to your brother, go to your boy, go to your coworker who was your vent person, right? You know your cousin out of town on your ride home. That's your vent partner, right?

M: 49:48

Absolutely.

T: 49:49

So those people are not supposed to take what you're saying as one a hundred percent. And they know, Most of them know yes they should know.

M: 49:58

They should know that you cause you know they would do it. Then I'm gonna give you the good, bad and ugly. You're gonna give you all the good, the bad and ugly. You don't need to know all that. I want you to just agree with me. Just say yes. Yes to what? I'm telling you that's what I need and, in the end, that's how I help you, because you still got the same fucking problem. So it's still being honest. I was able to get a release right.

T: 50:18

You needed to release right Cause you were so hyped up. You were so revved up, right, and that's why you was only motivated to tell one side of the story, Cause I was so hyped Like, ah what? You still wanting me to cook? I didn't cook seven days a week. He's still complaining. You want another meal? Yeah, Now I gotta pick up the phone. I got caught somebody about this.

M: 50:39

Yeah, that is true.

T: 50:41

Yeah, girl, you know that you cook enough. You know you. Fine, let me pick up the phone and say I didn't cook, you ain't cook for that moment. No, I'm just agreeing with you in that moment. No, no, I'm just trying to make me feel good for that moment. You need to cook, you need. That's what you good, good, good, good, good friend gon' sell you.

M: 51:00

That's true, and that's the other thing. You got to surround yourself with good friends. You got to purge the people around you Cause it comes to the point, as you progress and grow, some people just ain't good for you. You, and that's the hard it's. It really is easy. It's not really hard. I mean, if you look at hard, it's just the number of years you know them, but that doesn't mean they really add anything to you. So you need to like keep them away from it, cause you get some of them friends. They're like you ain't. You don't make me no good, you really don't. Everything I was talking to you, you always put some fuck shit in my mind, shit that we should do 20 years ago. You like I can't do this. I know God damn well, that's not where I'm at.

T: 51:37

No, I don't want to do that. I know we can't do that. No, yeah, you see yourself surrounded by people still doing crazy stuff like, yeah that you know what you can be doing.

M: 51:48

You already know what's time to let go. You gotta let them go, and you have to for your own sanity and your own growth.

T: 51:55

Because, again.

M: 51:56

You constantly want to surround yourself with people that's going to help you grow and help you be in a space that you either are or want to be, not in a space you used to be. You don't want nobody. You don't want those kind of people. They'll pull you back, because why the fuck do you? They want you to be better than they are or do something different. They want you to be back with us. You know, we drinking, we kicking. I can't do this shit no more.

M: 52:16

I'm married, I got kids. I can't do that. I didn't see some out with some common sense. If you're going to common sense again, I'll I'll howl at you when I see you. Other than that, deuces.

T: 52:28

And at some point you need to kind of set the trend amongst your group of people Right.

M: 52:34

Yes.

T: 52:35

Like, normally this time for us to start, you know, settle them down and choose someone made and having children, and you know getting real jobs and paying attention to how we move. And you know, financially, you know trying to stabilize the households, like it's time to move different. And sometimes it's going to be you who has to kind of set that trend. And you setting that trend is by you walking away. I'm like, nah, I can't live like y'all. I found a real one, you know I'm settling down with her. Like, nah, I'm not, I'm not rocking with y'all at the club, ladies, I found a real one. I'm settling down with him. Like, yeah, that's okay, just set that trend. Be the first one who can't go to the club and tear to join up because you at home, yes, with your man.

M: 53:23

With your man. Yeah, your man, not a man. But your man, and that's and that's, and you know T, that's when you start to separate, because when you got your man and this was trying to find a man, you know, right there you got to kind of you're in a different.

T: 53:39

We have a little breaky break. Yeah, we have a little break because you know, your intentions in life right now are different than mine, and so when we go out, we go out for different reasons. Now, right?

M: 53:51

Exactly, exactly.

T: 53:54

You know I got to respect why you go out and you know you got to respect what I go out for too. Exactly, we just, you know, don't go out as much as often and be okay with that.

M: 54:07

Yes and be cool with it. You know, and it's like I knew before I got married, a lot of guys like ah, if I, once I get married, man, I can't do this, I can't do it. It was almost like a death nail. It was almost like growing up and I was like, oh God, if I get married, my life is over, because you know the freedom thing, I don't have my freedom, and that really is a mindset.

M: 54:29

That's not even the reality because, we're actually is, once you get married, you actually have a lot more going on. But you know you're like damn, I don't drink as much, I don't party as much. I actually take care of myself. You know I'm doing. Well, I have purpose I'm doing. You know I'm actually looking forward to it, rather than just partying in every fucking weekend.

T: 54:51

you know, and you know a lot of people, Party with random people.

M: 54:54

Oh, my God.

T: 54:56

Like you keep switching up your crowd. You know, when you married and you partied, it didn't only be the same group of y'all Like nah. That's how we you know, that's how we hang out Meet up at the same little spot. You know, yes, you know I go home with the same guy. You know I might be wasted or I might not. You know he might have had a few drinks, I might have to be the designated driver, but you know we still got the same common denominators Mm, hmm.

M: 55:23

And you're happy. You're happy and you're like listen, I got somebody, got my back and that's what. That's ultimately what we want. We want somebody when you get married, when you get started dating. So when you want somebody, ultimately has your back and you can't allow other people to dictate that.

M: 55:41

Mm. Hmm, because I can't tell you over the years how many people got talked out of good relationships, literally talked out of it, because this guy, this person's too this or too straight, ladies too this, too this, and you don't talk about this. You don't talk, you're too young to get tired of it, or something like this. What the fuck you was talking to was a straight ladies do. He's working every day. Now you want him and you can have some fun.

M: 56:04

And you got to fuck with some loser, some bum motherfucker who ain't one do nothing but party and drink and smoke all the goddamn time. And 10 years later he's still smoking, still drinking. And then you got a couple of kids by the bum motherfucker, the dude. That was a nice guy. He got married, big ass, house, wife's travel, all over the goddamn place. You seem like, oh, that could have been me. No, it could never been you, because you fucked up, because you wanted this life, start, your mama or whoever told you you need to have it and still you look and say you know what? I don't want to live like this. Because what happens to when you start riding, like in your twenties? You start right.

T: 56:40

In your twenties, you start right now, exactly so that you're never gonna run out Like now. And then you start making fun of the people who get married early, like, oh they tripping, oh what they doing. Oh, they don't know, stay mad. Oh, what type of control is that? Like no, I'm not, nobody else control over me, I'm just married. Yes, different, I'm just married.

M: 57:09

Yes, and unlike you who, I can go home every day and know my husband is right there. You go home every day. You don't know who gonna be in your house or if somebody in your house Hello.

M: 57:22

I mean, I heard people talking about I went home, I was working, he was home, he was cheating on me. Well, first of all, why is he in your fucking house and you ain't working? He's cheating on you at work. He's gonna just wipe it left on your hands at work. Yeah, she take care of you, but I know somebody else out there take care of you.

T: 57:36

You take better care of me.

M: 57:40

So again these women need to fucking start to really men and women. They really kind of sit back and really get a hold of who they are. And that's before you start dating anyone. Please get to know who the hell you are before you go out to search for someone, because again, it's not just looks. It's all off with looks, but then that look could take you to a different level, because there's a whole lot of fine women out there. You don't want to take them home, you rather take the chick that looks so fine. She'll take care of you. She's the one that will have a very nice home for you. That pretty one may have some issues.

T: 58:17

I mean you look in too hard. You look in and what they say in love and all the wrong reasons and all the wrong places and all the wrong places for all the wrong reasons. Like, yeah, you being shout out is going to get you exactly what you deserve.

M: 58:38

You know women Just looks and you know how many people we know, huh, how many people we know like that.

T: 58:45

Yeah, and it runs that course runs out so quick, so quick.

M: 58:54

Yes.

T: 58:56

It just when you back at square one, like you back, like trying to find that thing that you was initially looking for and thought you found and you know there's less people out there now because you spent time with you, know the person who you thought was everything aesthetically but you didn't care to. You know interest them and to see if they were worth anything more than that.

M: 59:24

You know, and you just wasting years, wasting a lot of years. And look at the number of breakups we're talking about, because when you're saying you're going through people, those are breakups, those are constant breakups that you're constantly going through and a lot of people aren't learning from the breakups.

T: 59:41

Just keep breaking up.

M: 59:42

And if you say it's them, it's them. You have to understand. If you keep fucking break it up with somebody, it's you, because I know some women and some men who date different types of people and they still end up breaking up with them. And so the question is do you really sit back and ask yourself what the hell I need to do to? I need to do a self evaluation to see what the fuck oh, what do I not, what do I need to not do?

T: 1:00:05

Right, because maybe I'm doing too much too soon, right? And I'm getting nothing in return, and that goes both ways, to the male and the female.

T: 1:00:17

Right, there's something that's just so, given right, find a nice pretty woman. You know he's gonna secure her by just giving, given, given. And then you know, later on down the road You're like she don't give her nothing to me, she don't cook, she don't clean, you know, she don't take care of me, she don't touch me, she don't do this. That in the fourth, and you're like, well, you were giving everything that you had to give, you know, giving your quote-unquote. All Did she? Did you require anything in return?

M: 1:00:47

then Hello, exactly, and you can't get mad at that point Did you. Everything. I can't that she didn't give me anything. Well, again she realized she had to give you anything and she got shit, so why would I change? That? Why would I give you something when you showed me I ain't gonna give you much of anything? Just smile that you black my eyes at you every day and you'll give me everything I need. So why would she change that?

T: 1:01:09

cuz. I thought what I was given which was technically me, you know I thought that was good enough, because that's all you cared about, so why would I start doing something differently now?

M: 1:01:21

Wow, yeah, and that's true and that goes with the good, with with guys to a woman look, oh, I'm gonna give him this. He gonna, he gonna change you gonna. I'm gonna show him a different way. You can show me anything he wants to do, but before man, unless he really wants to do it, mm-hmm, it won't get done Again. We had this discussion in the previous podcast about women will spend years with guys, decades with guys, and they'll leave them and in Six months they marry someone else and they like why the hell they marry someone else? Because you basically set them up for someone else. Because along that time in those years, you never, not once, thought well, when am I ultimately gonna get out of this? You got putting into this guy and motoring this guy and doing what you need to do To get him to be the guy you want him to be, who all you did was set him up to be the guy someone else is gonna take from you.

T: 1:02:08

But technically he wasn't the guy for her anyway. But she was sitting there pouring you everything into him and the problem with that is that you poured so much into him that that it started running your time out. And you know, your good years, your best years, right, you gave them away to somebody else and you know you can't get that time back. But now you out looking for that guy that's going to love you properly From from jump, right, because I shouldn't have to do, I shouldn't have to jump through those for you to love me properly, like a proper courtship does not require either Either party to jump through hoops in order to, you know, prove that we're both honest and sound people who's interested in each other, right, neither party should be jumping through hoops.

T: 1:02:56

And if you got a guy who's showing Interest in you like I'm not a type of girl, so you know who you can allow him to kind of carry on and so he can find a girl that you know he's really, really into and who kind of motivates him to kind of, you know, do what is necessary for us to be able to thrive, because you know the man who's let's, let's take like the biggest thing man not working right. Well, how, he's obviously gonna feed me. How are we going out like I? I don't get it. I just feel like if a man who wanted to like get to know me would understand that he needed to work in order to get you know, get some time with me, right.

M: 1:03:45

Absolutely. How is?

T: 1:03:46

he gonna get the time with me. He's gonna invite me to go out to eat right. Absolutely have no money. Then you can't even begin to get to know me, because you can't afford to bill at the end of the meal.

M: 1:04:00

No, no, and at that point any guy that wants to come out and wants to eat on you and he knows has no money. It's the guy you definitely don't want to be fucking around and he's need to properly make.

T: 1:04:15

And most, most situations, you know, most of us don't really change, and so the person that you signed up for today, that's the person who you have Tomorrow, always. So you really got to choose, you know carefully. Choose what they say, choose wisely.

M: 1:04:35

Yep choose wisely. Oh my god, you know T Again we start off with this whole break up.

T: 1:04:43

You know I'm seeing a marjorie, which I hope is not true. Like I'm gonna be honest with you, I hope they, and if it is true, I'm, you know I don't know how far gone it is, but I never pray for you know anyone's. No, you know I'm cuz it's painful on both ends and you know it's more than just the parties who you know are Written in the. You know the divorce paper, right, it's the children that are there. Whether they share them biologically, you know who's gonna suffer, even if they're adult children, right?

T: 1:05:18

I don't want to have to be worried about my dad's mental space because you know him and his wife are split up. Well, I don't want to have to be worried about my mom's mental space because her and her husband split up. I don't want to have to worry about them. You know why they outdated. You know are they dating, say you know so, whether it be a child, you know inside of a divorce, or adult children, or you know whether you be a month, you know you're the mother in that situation or the father, you. The breakups are hard on everybody.

M: 1:05:50

It is, it really is and, as you say, you know, we don't wish this on on anybody. And we all, we all went through breakups, we all broke and we all will continue to go through breakups, and not just you know.

M: 1:06:02

Family could be friendship and all that stuff, you know. But when you go through breaks up, breakups, you have to learn something from it. You have to understand, you have to establish boundaries so that you understand that if you don't set up boundaries, you're gonna bound and be hurt over and over and over again. And you have to also, at some point, sit back, take some time and evaluate what are you doing, am I doing something wrong? And make those changes, because if you don't, you will continue to go through this non-ending cycle of breakups and hurt and pain and break up. And so you got to learn from, because if you don't, you could be in a world of hurt for a long, long time, and Nobody wants to be hurt for a long time. It's part of life, part of the journey, but you got to learn from it, you know.

T: 1:06:53

Yeah, so with that, you got anything else to add? I mean no, break that cycle. Slow yourself down. Probably you shouldn't be having the same breakup. It just doesn't make sense. After a while We'd be tired of listening. Listening to it calling up your girlfriend talking about you broke up with such and such. I told you that was the same type of guy. Told you you didn't dated the same type of guy three times over the last ten years and you keep breaking up with him. You do have to slow down. You have to take time to reflect. Sometimes it's not what you're doing, sometimes it's what you're allowing. So sometimes you just slow down and move accordingly.

M: 1:07:34

Damn it. See If I have my mic. I told myself to my side drop it.

T: 1:07:40

It's a mic drop.

M: 1:07:42

Yo. So people, again, just do better. And by doing better, evaluate what you're doing, evaluate your decisions and don't just blow it off, because You're the one have to make the decision to make your life happy. So, again, pick the time for yourself, learn about yourself and Just do better. And with that we're gonna end this episode of on the mic with the M.

T: 1:08:07

Anthony.

M: 1:08:08

Listen people. You know what you gotta do. It's a subscribe button, the like button. Hit the bell so you can get the next pot, the next episode, that when it comes out. Until then, peace and blessings, people.